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Yes I was just using OPs words, it’s clearly taken him this long to date someone he can see a life with. No guarantee he does again after.
You spelled “ex girlfriend” wrong.
Don't be this guy. It's sappy. You have to accept that it's over and move on. Every break up hurts. Someone is always hurt in a breakup and this time it's you. You will survive and you will find a partner who wants to be with you so long as you work on yourself and try to become the best version of yourself. Don't wallow and mope over someone who rejected you.
It is normal to feel a range of emotions when dealing with a situation like this, so please allow yourself time and space to process your feelings. Do not be afraid to get help from friends or professionals– they can provide invaluable support as you are experiencing strong emotional reactions that may be difficult for you to manage on your own. Additionally, take some time out in nature and do activities such as yoga or journaling might offer relief during these difficult times. You don't have to go through this alone.
Lol your husband sound dumb. Sorry for being blunt.
How do you know?
(you two)
No she was OK with the sleepover. That's why she asked you and if you said it was fine, he would be sleeping over. This is going to get way more complicated, unfortunately. She's been with you for 3 months, this guy is her kid's dad so he's always going to have an excuse to be around and it doesn't seem like you're ok with that so you should probably cut your losses imho.
As of right now, I think it will go really well
Hmm…
I'm just worried about the jealousy I may feel
I struggle sometimes with confidence and insecurities
Ok, yeah you're right, I don't see how jealousy, lack of confidence and insecurities could possibly be an issue when it comes to opening the relationship. Like you said, I'm sure it will go really well!
These people have been together for three years, this signifies a desire to be long term and a significant relationship. Getting engaged and married are ultimately arbitrary and not required to be deemed to be in a committed relationship.
In a mature relationship you're open and honest with each other, you don't hide things. This is not about something trivial like breakfast, this is not sharing an important detail about your health and reasoning with your intimate partner of many years. She doesn't have to share this stuff with a partner, but it suggests that shes not ready to be in a mature relationship.
I look forward to reading many more of these posts in the coming months
Reading all of OP's comments and her story she sounds toxic af. Long run this is probably best for OP's kids and now ex. Tearing your family apart after 2 weeks of chatting to some musician on the Internet sounds like some immature school girl crush behaviour.
As constructively as I can put it, OP seems to have struggled massively with isolation and being a stay at home mum and should have sought out therapy. Instead she hopped on the Internet and is now hoping to hop onto some new dick.
If you were serious about doing the right thing by your gf, you would stop seeing the other girl.
I think though that you should break up with your gf, move and then tell the new girl. She may want more or not but your current gf deserves better.
I will also add that you got together at 18, it is not wild to change in your 20s and drift apart and it is so common not to marry your first serious relationship.
Basically be honest but don't allow this situation to last.
I'm bi. Doesn't mean I want everything with a vagina. I have never once even remotely thought about my best friend in any sexual way. You're being weird.
Someone is going to be miserable no matter what. The conversation needs to start with her telling the truth that she eavesdropped on a private moment. That’s unacceptable. Yes it should be a discussion obviously but had she not snooped in then she wouldn’t be questioning her original choice so much.
This is hard but IMO, you need to break up with him. You know you have a lot to work on, I think just focusing on yourself is the best option.
I told him that I'm not comfortable buying a house before we get married, but now he's expressed buying a house before we're married in 2-3 years and that he would buy a house on his own in 2-3 years even if we weren't married by then.
Basically, since I expressed that I wouldn't buy a house unless we were married and that because there's a potential that we wouldn't be married by that time that he would by the house on his own.
Don’t beat yourself up. I was in your shoes once. 8 years of marriage and 2 kids is what he threw away. I didn’t want to live! anymore after that. But that was 3 years ago and I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. I promise time does heal these wounds. Sorry you’re dealing with this.
It’s almost like you’re Chasing Amy here. NTA for having feelings but you should manage your expectations
Sorry for the confusion. She messaged him on Instagram
As the child who can do no right in my family I can tell you, fuck your family.
Celebrate your effort.
Or he just doesn't want his co workers knowing he's married because he's screwing at least one of them.
I am so very sorry. Let him go- he can stay somewhere else for a while. Do yo have more support in your previous city? Maybe explore that. Also, a friend of mine had an au pair, it was not the best experience tbh. I know this may not be the norm, but these young people may end up being another person to take care of. The au pair bailed on her. I’d go for a nanny personally.
Sounds like you have some freakishly conservative world views.
It’s not a small thing. Those aren’t jokes. Your bf keeps insulting you although he knows it hurts you. You deserve better.
Are you sure this is the only thing he’s being an AH about? Because more often than not, we tend to overlook the small red flags when we love people until one pops up that is too big to ignore. If you really think everything else is fine, sit him down and explain a final time that this isn’t funny and needs to stop immediately if he wants you to stay together. If he doesn’t stop and apologize genuinely this time, that’s it. He’s chosen his path.
You’ve only been together literally a year and you want to do couples counselling?
Sorry but I say save yourself the money and time and just admit it didn’t work……Good relationships don’t have this many issues in such a short amount of time
Parental pressure is very difficult to manage at fifteen, and she did confront her mom about it.
The age difference might have something to do with this, you know. You're in your thirties and he's 50. And he clearly doesn't want to stop talking to his ex.
I'm not a fan of partners forcing each other to stop talking to certain people. It never goes well. If he's continuing to talk to her knowing you don't like it, you're either gonna have to get over it and trust him, or break it off.
you have a lot of growing up to do.
Well, she's a teenager. Maybe a 25-year-old shouldn't have proposed to someone who just graduated high school.
You’ve been dating 2 years and he’s never mentioned an issue that was a possible deal breaker for him. It’s now created this bigger issue because now you have doubts over all the times you thought he was enjoying himself. This is so absurd, and it’s completely not your fault.
If you don't feel like a being of a doormat, then yes, bring this up to her
I know im the one who f*ed up. You havent answerd. Am i a pussy for being Back with an ex after she had been with an other guy? Im really self consious and fairly low self confidence to take any critisism. Part of me wishes to find a girl a like and start fresh but i havent really moved on after a year and a half
Perhaps OP secretly loves that she has a SO who is important enough or rich enough to need a PA? She's probably looking into the future when she's this dude's wife and can fire the PA.
You’re not being overly analytical, and your boyfriend needs to back her down, not just for your relationship but to keep things professional in the workplace. She’s basically sent your bf a message that she wants to have a relationship with him or fuck him, and on top of everything else she’s doing (she’s not pushing the envelope; she’s ripped it to pieces), that’s enough to make an HR professional reach for the Xanax. Your boyfriend must know that this is not appropriate behavior; if he doesn’t, that would worry me.
The only way it changes is when there is a shift that changes the reason why you broke up in the first place.
Most people will fall back into the way things were pretty fast and you parted ways for a reason. So if you want to try again, you must remove the issue
I've never thought about it from that perspective before but you're definitely onto something here. I always thought I couldn't follow thru with breakups unless things were “bad enough” because I'd second guess myself too much but maybe it's actually because I'm scared of the reaction I'll get when I tell friends and family that we broke up?? ?? and when they asked “what happened?” I'll fumble and look like a dick for letting a good guy go?? yeeeesh I need to go to therapy