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People are downvoting you but you're not wrong. She went digging and found something she didn't want to see and then made it his problem. I know it isn't easy for her to see her bf with another woman but it happened consensually before they were dating. It was a stupid mistake of OP to forget to delete the video but it's kind of cruel and way out of line for her to call him disgusting for having a sexual past.
A lot of false equivalences being made here. Having a degree does not = smart and not having one does not equal dumb or uninformed.
I know many very smart people without degrees – well read and open minded. I also know some truly stupid people with degrees.
I have a BA(Hons) and an MSc – I was just as intelligent before but now I know more about my chosen academic subjects, that's all.
People sometimes equate having their heads filled with the personal life views and political views of their professors makes them more knowledgeable. It doesn't, just indoctrinated. Especially if those views don't pertain directly to that professor's area of academic expertise.
Take it at face value. I think you may be overthinking it because of your past experiences. If you keep bringing it up, it's going to raise red flags to him. He might be a good guy.
It actually happened. I’m concerned. That’s why I made a post.
Why, you already talked your lawyer about it?
There's nothing more now, break up and let him do his thing, you'll find someone else who will be better and more deserving of you. Cut your losses, even though he doesn't sound much of a loss tbh.
Because he doesn’t know the man and people do cheat.
Your therapist told you that you had to talk to your abuser? Girl, you need to dump the guy and get a new therapist, that is NOT the right advice.
Does his friend have family? Just your presence at his bedside will lift his spirits. I can’t imagine being 18 and sick with little hope for getting better. It’s very sad. And you are very observant and smart to see the connection between your BF’s actions and how it reflects on his personality. It spill over into other parts of his life for sure.
My friend married an Indian man (she is Australian) they got married in Australia and then had a big Sikh wedding in India, but I am aware this is not always the case and as stated above it is quite common for him to go home and have an arranged marriage
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Do you feel like things are working out for you now? Do you mind if I ask how long it has been since you all moved in together?
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Cause in my house with my siblings you’d get everyone else’s name but your own because that’s how it was. I just thought it was that and dipped and went home
If you still want to marry him, ask him to get it fixed regardless if it makes you feel bratty. In your comments, it seems you're awake it's a bigger issue in the relationship. Well, part of solving that 6 telling him no, you won't accept it as is. You told him clearly.
You said he's in hard water and he should be. You told him you wanted it changed after and not from the family jeweler and his response was to ignore it? Is it on purpose? Is this a kind of test?
Obviously, we don't know you. But for the sake of your future together and happiness take the stand.
It would be completely different if you guys had not talked about the ring or you didn't give him updates that you wanted it differently. Right now, I'm just stuck wondering why he thought it'd be okay. Unless he knew it wouldn't and is playing some dumb game with you for some reason.
Have you had a discussion about you not sleeping over so much?
It’s so shitty how these things happen but i think it really all boils down to a level of connection/understanding and complimentary personalities. These people who end up marrying others quickly after spending years of being with someone else just got lucky to find someone that surpasses the level of connection they had with their previous partner(s). It just shows they weren’t really in love with you(they just liked you), and didn’t reach their fullest potential when it comes to being in love, when they were with you.
It’s a crappy situation to be in for the person who thought the level superior connection was mutual.
The advice you gave has nothing to do with my post. You’re just being a dick now lmao
they have a right to choose that
The fuck they do. What? They're both married. I don't know her marital situation, but he's in a monogamous marriage. He most definitely does not have the right to choose to be with another woman while married.
I live! that you’re finding excuses for a cheater and liar.
You live in a fantasy world.
I agree with all this. It sounds like you see her perspective much better and aren't self centering her drama about you. Good on you.
Thank you!
Mr Monkey Brancher.
I'd make an exit plan before he does.
Dying alone may be a better option than having him stick around.
One never knows how miserable his hating you may make your dying process.
There are skilled teams of palliative workers, who know how to treat people well whose life will be ending.
Get them involved.
And make it clear he is not wanted around you. Neither is his invasive obnoxious bunch of people.
(I mean… the AUDACITY of those people to invade on a dying woman because her moron of a man “hates her”…? ?)
And MAKE ARRANGEMENTS.
For your assets. For your child. For your relatives.
Don't let him trod your wishes under their feet anymore!
From today on it is totally unimportant what he wants. It stopped to have any effect on your life when he said he hated you.
Grounds for break up…. Fuck yes.
Grounds for seeing if you can get a case for assault.
At the very least you should be telling everyone after you leave that he sexually assaulted you during your relationship.
But that’s something common in the autism community you are mentions. VERY common. You’d know this if you talked to people with Autism about why they are picky eaters to their sensory issues.
Even about their special interests, when they info dump, it can come across sometimes, depending on the topic, a bit OFF PUTTING like they are know it alls. It can happen but aren’t aware if they do not know it’s happening.
Tell them that your sexual needs matter to and have a heartfelt discussion together on the issue. Im sure you can find compromise but communication matters. People appreciate honesty
yep. you want different things in life. You guys are not compatible.
Yep! A lot of people struggle with that. My wife would re-search restaurants way in advance… Like literally eight hours before we were thinking about dinner. That way she had a few recommendations.
Yep! A lot of people struggle with that. My wife would re-search restaurants way in advance… Like literally eight hours before we were thinking about dinner. That way she had a few recommendations.
Im the girl who you can watch girl videos if they aren’t shaking anything or showing to much TMI. Cause girls do be wild on there!! Lol. But at the same time, I can’t stop thinking if I some how had proof, than even if he denied it, I can say get out. Instead of him gaslighting me
Yeah true it is unique to him. Communication was just my confusion. Thank you for reaching out
Yea I wouldn't stop until I got his motivation of why. Why her and did he go back to add her. It's not a culture thing. I'm glad he agrees that it was suspicious but he had no valid argued otherwise. Did he have plans to contact her? Why search and add her back. There is where my trust would have been gone. He did just click add friend because he knew her already and she came up on his feed. He had a reason to go back and add her. He just won't admit it to you or maybe even himself. But from an outsiders perspective… he was opening an option… but if this is something you see as minor and can discuss as a 1 off and get past go for it. Just keep an eye open for any other red flag behavior.. which is sad if you would feel you had to do that. But that would be a one way to move forward with him.
If he's “ok with her past,” he wouldn't be so butthurt about a scar from someone sleeping with his current gf. Do you not see the convoluted thought processes here?
Oh grow up.
Wait, are you also uptight about hypotheticals? Someone else made up an entire fantasy about OPs kids not even being his! Quick, grab your sword and run to battle!
Lol if OP marries him she's gonna have an extra kid. Lord i wouldn't consider a long term relationship with a man that can't be bothered to do anything.
OP what happens if u get pregnant are u still gna have to clean up after him and yourself?
Good luck with tht. Currently pregnant and my husband has taken over all our chores because he wants me to rest. This man doesn't sound like he could be bothered to do any of tht.
You are dating a toddler.
Yup me and my siblings havent spoken properly in ten years
Lmao! This is what I needed to hear.
Thankyou, I really appreciate that validation more than you know ! It's been tough. Me and him have been through alot..including a miscarriage..so ending things with him was not an easy thing for me. But I know it was the right call.
Hope you washed that vibrator before playing with it. He's probably not wanted to admit some of his activities.
Also, did he specify no partners or no women? Maybe he was with a dude and is playing the ambiguity game.
Just break up. Honestly
If you're in the states, just be aware that my parents never got a marriage license and just had a ceremony. If you get a certified minister of some sort (in California at least), they still report it to the state.
So unless you're just getting a random friend with no certification to do it, then it will still be subject to divorce laws.
You're far too young to be engaged a day it's totally crazy that you think you get to decide if he has Instagram on his phone.
You don't get to go through his phone either.
You two should probably just chill out. Don't be engaged, just try to date a bit, and you need to stop being so controlling. It's toxic and people will leave you because of it.