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That’s a logical question to ask. People struggle to be honest in regards to rejection. It’s one of the reasons ghosting is so prevalent.
It’s not worth wondering. You’re right; you are too old for this shit (I say that emphasizing from an age perspective). What’s important is that you learn from it.
In saying that, of course in a perfect world people would just be honest when it comes to rejection. But we’re not in a perfect world. So you need to recognize the words and actions you’re presented.
What's childish about it?
There is just … not enough info here
Just tell your friend
Ugh, this is a weird dilemma.
Parts I understand, others I am like… not much you can do.
You can't expect him to reduce his reletionship with his sibling. You're kind of SOL there.
As for his woman friends, if his closest sibling happens to be a woman, It's not a surprise for a person to gravitate towards friends who are women.
You said this:
he says he has limited his conversations with them, though it's not what I wanted
What do you want to happen here? Complete cut of contact? That is somewhat unfair to expect a person to do.
You might be running into incompatibly here.
ARE you are feeling guilt? Because you really have no reason to. You stepped away from a relationship that nourished you very little. When you were a child and young adult. That's not on you. Are you perhaps feeling an ache over something that should have been? Should have been a good relationship. Should have at least been a better relationship than you had. And that would be really normal and not weird at all.
I have advice!
A competent couple’s therapist that specializes in trauma.
Do not see each other for at least 6 months, except for weekly live sessions.
That, or block everywhere and move on.
Have you tried anal?
They're having an emotional affair and he's still I love with her. She's keeping him on the hook (how I met your mother used this term) basically like a backup. (Might not even be about wanting to go back to him) stringing him along. He makes her feel good about herself, it's a confidence boost to have him still talking to her. She gets to keep the benefits of the relationship and also have you. I feel bad for her ex and you. He's waiting around hoping she'll change her mind. Trying to win her over with the dog. There is no way he will find a partner while he's still attached to her. I'm surprised she found someone willing to put up with them.
I mean your wife came with you and was honest about what her dad said/did. It’s pretty upsetting that he said that and I wonder what his motivations and intentions were. However idk what you can do about it. It’s not like she can get a new dad. I’d guess her not doing what he wanted already pissed him off plenty
haha he definitely knows it’s beyond superficial. we’ve been together for a while and he knows i love him more than anything! i’m gonna think of a positive approach that stresses how much i am attracted to him/love him but as a gentle suggestion. thank you!!
Ok, but can he lean back on you? It’s obvious that he values independence and control because he feels unsafe relying on people due to his volatile childhood.
Also try to get some kind of proof that he didn’t rape her incase she tries to claim he did after he breaks up with her to get revenge for breaking up with her. She sounds cookoo
Thanks very much for your reply. I believe the lie was an error in judgment and the rest of the relationship is really great. It's difficult to put across via text but if anyone could see how things are on a day to day basis I feel like they'd agree. People make mistakes but sometimes those mistakes aren't worth blowing the relationship up over. I've made myself really clear without attempting to control her to the point where she's not considering going for a pint with Bob to talk about why she's now distant. I'll base any decisions solely on her actions. If she wants to spend time with him she can, but she can do so as a single person. She's very empathetic and has a big heart so I think this is the place she's coming from rather than anything nefarious.
I simply can't have this sort of issue in my life and if I attempt to tolerate it I'll invite more of it. I can't do it.