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Birth Date: 1994-01-01
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Honestly I'd suggest therapy. It sounds like you have some deeply ingrained shame surrounding sex, which it would be useful to get to the bottom of.
Sex is a very intimate act, and I fully support not wanting to do it with just anyone, but it's also not magical and sacred.
I'd work through your views with a therapist to help you reach a more balanced outlook. You took this intimate step with someone you love. No one can promise anyone forever, and married couples get divorced. Like a lot. There's no reason for you to be feeling shame and regret. I'm not trying to discount your feelings, I'm just trying to say I think you're making yourself feeling bad unnecessarily, and it's worth exploring why, in the hope you can stop.
stool pigeon? lol?
the sad thing is a lot of women are lonely and DO put up with this crap
Hmm I would leave unless you plan to be married and chained to his side forever and probably not allowed to see any friends or do anything without him. You can tell him if he'll never be the same or as friendly again then there's no need for you to come back to him after the trip.
Nope not an asshole thing to do.
Get out of your head bro. It's full of shite.
If that’s really what you believe the core difference between us is I am better at vetting who to trust to begin with. I assure you my trust isn’t misplaced.
To be clear, I’m not saying everyone should be trusted, I’m saying to decide who you trust, but if you are “verifying” it isn’t trust, more specifically, if you feel the need to verify it isn’t a trusting relationship.
I assure you, my life is happier on my program than yours.
You’re already having an emotional affair, you need to tell your husband, the future of your marriage needs to be his decision, not the guilty party’s decision
This was sort of my exposure to bodies and sex. One of Germany‘s leading teen mags at the time featured a weekly story about a teen couple called Tom and Sarah, including hot photos of them. And it chronicled their relationship including their first sex from BOTH sides. How each of them felt, what they wanted to happen. I‘m sure this was heavily edited or maybe even fake but in hindsight it felt like a really good way to satisfy natural curiosity.
Getting out should be your top priority. If you want to live! a healthy lifestyle and can't bc of who you live! with, the thing that should remain the most important thing is getting out.
Could that be being rich vs you having nothing gave her the false impression that she owns you and she can do anything risk free from losing you? You are young and you will do better together with a serious woman by your side…!
I don't think you can.
I would rather throw myself into the sea than date a man in his early twenties.
If she was honest? there might be the possibility of a fix. The fact that she dodged, dipped, ducked, dived and dodged means she's not committed to what it'll take.
Sorry for the impending divorce.
Tell your wife but I’m interested in the backstory here. Have you been having an emotional affair with this neighbor lady? How did these morning coffee dates start? Does your wife have any idea how much you’re socializing with the neighbor?
Your cousin and his pregnant GF are pond scum. Rancid pond scum. Does that sort things out for you? Jesus. Who does something like this?
There's absolutely zero debate here. You have to leave.
My grocery stores do deliver (for a pretty high fee), but I'd have to employ a bucket-and-rope system to get stuff in.
I once tried to get volunteers to help me, as I figured that official care services would never lock me in, but the one service located in the nearest big city just pointed me towards the official services, as they are more for spending some time with old people who have no one left and just keeping them company. Given how hot it was to find a care service and with how many people I spoke, I genuinely think that we don't have what you guys have there in my country.
That makes it more difficult. Please consider consulting a family law attorney so that you can figure out your options. Maybe you need to go through the process of adopting Harrison now so that if things reach a crisis point with James, you have the ability to leave and take Harrison with you. Or maybe it is still possible to get custody of Harrison in your jurisdiction even though you have not legally adopted Harrison given James's coke use and his family's history of abuse. You don't need to commit to doing anything after speaking with any attorney, but not even knowing what is possible will keep you paralyzed.
As for James, I'm really sorry for everything you and he are going through. Addiction and abuse are really tough, and you're probably correct that he desperately needed (and still needs) help dealing with everything that's happened to him. You can encourage him to seek therapy and support for addiction, but if he refuses, please consider seeing someone yourself to help you sort through these issues. You deserve to have someone who knows what they are doing on your team to help you deal with this.
You need to be firm and make this your final decision, don't allow her to talk you out of it. Mother needs to let you live! your own life. You are doing what's best for you and your family (for the future this truly is best for your relationship with mother). She will see you as the asshole, but that is the sacrifice you need to make here. You can't make everybody happy, if you try to make your mother happy then it will hurt your relationship with your wife and child.
Don't be nasty about it and you don't even need to give her a lot of details, just make it a final decision that she will not be living with you.
Everything he is doing is classic abuse tactics. Run. Run. And run some more.
I know that the LDR will end by this year. That's why I'm afriad the current relationship will not continue well based from the experience when we were together even for a short time. I don't know how I should talk it out with my partner. Or I don't know I should just deal with my worry by myself.
Truth? I strongly suggest that you run. She’s manipulative and beyond needy and you haven’t even gone on a date yet. Oof
Get a new therapist.
Honestly.. sounds like he’s guilty / has a bad conscious (has he should) and is tryna transfer it to you so he feels less weigh on himself.
Just keep doing you, and let them face the consequences of their own actions.
I used to get exactly like this! I told my partner that if for whatever reason he doesn’t want to have sex just tell me exactly why he doesn’t. After he’d tell me I’d repeat what he said in my head until I stopped spiraling. It took a few months but Im able to take the “not tonight” like it’s nothing. Also, try and stop thinking about it as rejection, personally that’s what caused me to spiral.
Makes sense – thank you!
It sounds like much of a relationship. You feel like a sex toy and he blames you for everything. Yes some people can forgive cheating but some people can’t.
We agreed that we would share if we had slept with someone else (we were in different cities at this time), and that communication was the most important thing for it to work.
It was cheating. Non monogamy only works if boundaries are followed. Otherwise it is cheating. He didnt tell her until over a year after. This broke their agreement and also exposed her to potential stis
Imagine you are the bad guy. Why does even that matter?
A breakup is a breakup. Your friends will still like you either way.
You said you just went out yesterday, meaning today is the next day. Could she just have shit going on? Maybe she has class, maybe she’s cleaning, maybe she has diarrhea maybe any number of things. who knows? Don’t make it an issue until it’s an issue
Thank you for your input, it’s really appreciated 🙂
That’s what I did. I told him I was still mad and needed some time to think and we agreed to meet tonight to talk in person
Find a job you want! You’re going to burn out before you ever get licensed by the sounds of it.
You can’t ruin your life cause you mom wants to brag that you’re a teacher.
To piggyback on your comment, he’s not been cheated on in every relationship. He’s accused every partner of cheating. Either they went out with friends, or had make co-workers, or dared to flirt with the server, grocery clerk, etc right in front of him! /s
Any chance you’re feeling used? You’re not his one-stop porn shop. You should be very suspicious about a guy guilting you into sending you that many nudes.
Really cause you sound like you’re still stuck in highschool and can’t get over the fact that highschool is over for you. You’re the entire reason he is like this
That is just a down right rude and hurtful comment. No, there's no way you're forgetting that. It's truly just another reason why this relationship is running out of gas.
Keep not attending- she's waiting with both barrels locked and loaded with the most vile and nasty comments for you.
Honestly, gotta agree with you on that one.
Why are you so sure he's telling the truth?
Poor choice of words by me. I don’t go for older women unless they look like they are 25-30.
Oh girl you got a bad boyfriend. No just no. This isn't ok. He is a JERK. DONT LET THIS PEICE OF CRAP RUIN YOUR SELF ESTEEM. throat fuck? You aren't a porn star. You are his girlfriend.
This! Lol
It sounds like he's not willing to compromise – which is a red flag for someone you might be contemplating marriage with. Is it going to be the same thing every time you two have any sort of conflict?
I am twice married and never changed my surname. Like you, I like my name and family connections. It was non-negotiable. We named the kids with their father's surname. I don't much care for hyphenated names. Could your partner accept you just holding on to your own surname, but not hyphenating?