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Man…
You seem like the casual dating type.
Based on what?
Look, it's fine to be clear that you're looking for something serious from the start. That's normal. But if someone starts talking about marriage in the first months of a relationship it should set off the alarm bells.
It sounds like neither of you are being responsible and actually getting to know one another. You're talking about marrying a stranger. Anyone can put on a mask for a couple of months. And, as someone your bf's age, I have to point out that there's something iffy about a 40-year-old who rushes to lock down a very young adult like this.
Now recognize that all the people in here advocating you telling more people in pursuit of “justice” just want to extend what Jane did. The affair ended years ago. It's over. Forcing it to on-line on in some way doesn't really serve anyone. Not you. Not your mom.
A therapist will be the most helpful place to discuss this.
Because you had a prior agreement, he wasn't violating any known boundaries.
It is a mistake to think that your partner will always think about a situation like you do, and pretty much never ok to expect them to read your mind.
Now that this has happened and you realize you didn't like it, you just need to have a discussion with him and modify the boundaries.
Another commentor mentioned inpatient care, amd I second that opinion.
OP, while I don't have problems as severe as your wife, I have self-admitted myself to inpatient psychiatric treatment on 4 separate occasions. I've been on the ward in private and public hospitals, and I can tell you, it makes a difference. There is no more outside world to offer stressors. The sole focus becomes the patient, and what is the best treatment. They may offer different medications, and they will certainly have intensive treatment sessions. In the private hospitals, I got significant one on one time with a fully licensed psychiatrist as well as group therapy. In the public hospitals, the psychiatrist mainly prescribed meds, while therapy was done in groups and psychologists as well. As it's a hospital, I also got full blood workups and physical examinations to make sure there wasn't anything physical contributing to my poor mental health. In all instances, my medications were being closely monitored by medical professionals. If anything happened, RNs were available around the clock. Upon discharge, there was a treatment plan in place, with appointments already scheduled, and medication was stabilized.
Read what you just wrote, there is no real way you are going to be able to keep that job as first officer if she sinks into a suicidal depression once a month. Who could you possibly ask to look after her in that state? The only real possibility I could see is hiring a full time nurse, and that is so expensive it's inconceivable for most people.
Inpatient care is a very frightening prospect for almost everyone, the patient and their loved ones. I think of mine as “reset” periods. Not just for me, but for my friends and family too. They knew I was physically safe, and they got to take care of themselves for a while while I got myself back into a state of functioning. I urge you to look into this option.
Feel free to DM me if you have questions. I can of course only speak to my experiences with you, but at least it's an insight to a world you're not familiar with.
I don’t see why she is allowed to take someone from me. She’s suppose to be my friend. Instead she’s a snake who took a man I loved.
She can't work there anymore if she wants to stay with you. Hopefully she understands that and is already planning to leave? That's probably the most critical thing right now, getting the hell away from this guy, which also shows you she's serious about making things work with you.
When the excuses come about her job and how you don't trust her… That's when you know this relationship needs to end for good.
No I wanted us to be in the mortgage together and pay everything evenly
Freaking monster, being cheap is the worse trait ever
You may need to start the eviction process.
Big brain move
You can actually call your phone provider and get the text history for their conversations. Do that, but use it to leave his ass.
He doesn't deserve you, and you don't deserve to be the person you're becoming… How you're living is soul eating and you don't want to carry that on to your next relationship. Be done with him. He clearly doesn't respect you.
As they say… “the grass is always greener”. What concerns me is that you've felt this way about TWO other women, not just a one time fling.
So one point of view would ask, “are you really trying?”. Meaning, do you do the romantic things for your wife that would initiate a healthy sexual relationship? I.e. buying the occasional flowes, saying compliments like “I think you're beautiful”, “I find you so attractive”, “God I wanna fuck you!”… (please excuse my crude examples lol). If not, than you can't really blame a situation you really aren't giving a 100% effort towards.
Another point of view would say, “why stay if there is no physical attraction?”. So ask yourself, are you physically attracted? If not, why did you get married then and commit your life to a person you really weren't attracted to? I only make this point because you have said there has always been a “lack of chemistry”.
All marriages and relationships take work. Even the good ones who claim are “effortless”. They still work at their relationships. What makes their relationships seem effortless is reciprocation.
So you can be alone. You're 21 and there's a whole world of shit men you've yet to encounter. This feels major because it's your first time feeling this way but there's always another asshole that will give you butterflies and maybe he won't also give you chlamydia.
Being single is a good thing. It's great. And it's time you can use to grow a backbone and some self esteem.
OP replied to me in another comment saying their sex “isn't vanilla”, which leads me to believe they're performing acts solely for their partner and need to be clear on what needs they have for intimacy.