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Her change in feelings is justified after her privacy was violated by your brother. You could look at it from the perspective that it was a fantasy of hers. Those change over time. It is possible down the road that she may revisit it but don't pressure. My personal beliefs towards 3somes is that as long as everyone involved consents that is nobody's business. But I will tell you from personal experience 3somes often involve more baggage after the fact then it is worth. Good luck.
Inside? Her?
Inside her.
I get it!
this is brilliant, thank you for your advice. It was just what i needed
Just like, the old man, in that book by Nabokov.
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People always say this, but then a few more years in you're not having sex, there's a distance between you, you're in a rut and maybe one of those guys posting on here that your wife doesn't want sex anymore and you have it once every few months, but she's not changing or doing anything when you bring it up.
It all starts at places like this.
It depends truly on the rest of your relationship. If there's dates, you make her feel special the rest of the time you're awake, you've spoken about it and how she feels about it etc etc. But this can definitely be a huge thing and one of the points that causes distance later down the line. When you got together did you sleep in separate beds and weren't excited or bothered about getting into bed together? Why not? If you did and that slowly disappeared, that's indication no.1 of excitement, interest and intimacy creeping away.
Sleeping in a different room is going to have one of two affects. Help them sleep better and be temporary, or put some distance between you. It might not be obvious immediately, but one day she might just wake up and doesn't really feel that urge to be intimate because you've started feeling like a flat mate. It creeps up on you and you don't even know it's happening.
I'd talk to her about it to see, and make sure you're happy with how intimate you are the rest of the time. Some couples do sleep in different beds for other reasons also. Everyone is different, for me personally and a lot of women… this is one of the big things that would kick the magic and intimacy out of a relationship. It doesn't have to be every night, and if my partner is staying up later or vice versa, we usually make a bit of time to cuddle and talk in bed, then the other gets back up. Also I've never really gotten the kid sleeping in the same bed thing. They're either in a cot or move to their own room for everyone I've ever known. But that could vary based on location/general opinions and such of people. But i think its also very normal to transition them to their own space pretty early to stop things like this getting in between the couple, and the kid to not have problems moving out and sleeping as they get older.
They did not say to actually date a 35 yr, but to find a photo and profile of one and pretend you are dating them. That does not involve interaction with 35 yr old, just swooning about them at home in front of dad. It’s brilliant. But I would aim for a 55 yr old.
OK, thanks. That explains a lot. It makes sense for most 18-year-olds not to want to be in a LDR.
She might be too dense or too proud to apologize. You aren’t small. You are slightly above average. Check out the sub bigdickproblems , it’s a great community. You might have a larger girth than average so it’s not all about length. She said it to hit below the belt. She knew it would bother you. Cheap shot. Take away her power over this insecurity.
Written by an AI after studying 300k relationship advice posts.
Yeah, it sounds like he wants their entire apartment/house to be his “man cave”.
Frankly, when you online together with somebody you should want them to be happy with their personal tastes as well. It would be important if OP was just dealing with a room-mate, but her having an issue with her boyfriend about this is even worse. It makes me wonder if he's selfish in other aspects of the relationship.
There’s your problem. You’re doing stuff you’re “confident you’ll get away with”. Relationships aren’t, or should I say shouldn’t, be about what you can do that’s outside of your SO’s boundaries until you’re caught. Have more respect for your SO. Have more respect for yourself!
Maybe I’m being too sympathetic towards the psych but I think they were just trying to ameliorate your anxiety.
Not to mention it isn’t much of a topic for your first session with a psych.
Generally the first few sessions are very broad as you discuss yourself and what you’d like to get out of the therapy.
Maybe your psych was just trying to wrap up the conversation and focus elsewhere?
She did not gave me the numbers, the first I found it myself and the guy from the gym I have not talk to the guy ever
He is falling into a black hole. Don’t let him pull you in too. This is your life and you have to online it.
There are suicide hotlines and supports he can call. He could check himself into a hospital. You aren’t the only thing keeping him alive.
He may actually do better when you’re gone.
It’s time, really 7 years invested, what else could matter above and beyond all else.
140k is a pretty good salary. Most people will never make anywhere near ~400k.
Also, not that it’s your decision, but I would be concerned about value fit if my partner made 400k annually and chose to let 200k debt ride instead of paying down aggressively.
Should be able to clear that out in a few years with that kind of income, but at this rate that debt will follow y’all into marriage. Crazy
Thank you
Boundaries are fair and important. If i don't like it, his response should be to stop.
I don't think you should involve her in it. Do you attend school of any kind?
Oh so youre just an ignorant asshole who shouldnt be fucking ever anyways
Go get a vasectomy
why didn’t he tell me beforehand?
Because he's a griwn ass adult who can do whatever he wants with whomever he wants. The fact you think you're entitled to details is gross.
Man up, coward
I wouldn’t say I feel responsible for his happiness, and it’s not that he’s not appreciating it or anything – I guess I’m just looking for other ideas because I do WANT to help if that makes sense
She was careless with your sexual health.
Dream girl or not I'd say that's a huge red flag.
???????????? ? ? ?
You don’t seem to think so. Either that’s a normal expectation, or she needs to run it by you first. It can’t be both.
I don’t think your bf is truly ready to be in a relationship if he emotional cheated on you 3 times. And also not putting your needs as priority it’s not great at all, mind as well be friends.
I know right? This guy is clearly just a horrible person. I dread to think how he speaks to his girlfriend.
It seems a little soon to be upset about not meeting his parents but I guess if they’re local, it is a little odd that there hasn’t been a single family dinner out, bday to celebrate, some kind of informal get together, etc.
If it were me, I think I’d reframe things.
While it was a small gesture, I think putting your name on the Xmas card was an olive branch. If they’re decent people, they’re probably embarrassed. And everyone got played by the cousin. Sounds like his parents are protective and wouldn’t you believe family over someone you don’t know at all?
I’d tell your boyfriend how you’re feeling because he really should be addressing this with his parents. I don’t think you should expect them to roll out the red carpet and apologize profusely. But your boyfriend could certainly organize a dinner out with them.
To me (44F) it’s up to your BF to manage his family and that includes how they treat you and when he introduces you. I agree with you that just “dropping by” would be a no. That just will potentially make things awkward for everyone.
It's not really though. Kids demand so much time the first X number of years of life.
I don't get how people think they can have multiple small children, jobs, cars, houses, bills, etc and an unchanged sex life.
Kids take a massive toll on women. MASSIVE. And it's like men are shocked by this reality.
We were about to move in with each other in August and had holidays booked for May and July.
I don't think I can talk much about what future I want for us because I'm scared it's going to make her feel pressured.
I am not sure if you will make it better by being a single parent. Try hiring a cleaning lady a few times and see if that helps. Try hiring a baby sitter and going with friends for a java to chill, Try a counsellor to help set priorities. It is tough on working moms none the less, my heart goes out to you. This to will pass and before you know it- blink of a eye, they are gone. Male 3 grown kids, I tried to help my lady but i could see it was a marathon. I owe her.