I went to school with two brothers named Juan Valdez whose father was also Juan Valdez. That said, this guy doesn't really sound like someone you're going to miss out on. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
It's lucky for you that you probably won't hear about the next young woman he preys on or the effect that has on her life, so you won't need to think about how you could have done something to prevent him from abusing her.
If she decides to stick around, why not tell her you‘d be ready to pay for what you took from him but you won’t be blackmailed? See what she thinks. Her brother isn’t innocent in all this and he definitely stopped being the victim when he tried to blackmail you. She may not even want him to get extra cash the minute she finds out he is (or was) a dealer. It’s likely she will need time to process all that.
If you want to be single, how did you get into a relationship? If she's into you, it's impossible to say you just want to be friends without hurting her. So suck it up and tell her.
I would have a sit down with him and tell him that you are very concerned with his extreme and reckless behavior. Be honest that this has damaged your ability to trust him to have your back and to do what's best for both of you and that it scares you how quickly and easily he threw your wellbeing to the wind for some petty self-satisfaction. Ask him how he intends to solve this, particular the financial aspect of it and that you are very stressed about that side of things. Then, I would probably insist on counselling for him because this behavior was so over-the-top and reckless to not just his career, but his marriage and your stability that it is bordering on unforgivable. He needs to know this is a profoundly major fuck-up and he needs to start fervently job hunting now and not stop until he has one. He needs to eat, sleep and breathe job hunting and therapy.
Texts can be a contract, but only if it is freely and voluntarily established. Him sending you all those threats is a big issue. Do you think he needs the money or is this his attempt to maintain contact with you?
Hon, I'm going to be blunt. He sees you as a blow up doll not a partner. If he actually cared about you as more than a sex toy he wouldn't ever have asked you for sex while you were recovering from medical treatment especially surgery. Lose this POS. You're only 5 months in. There are plenty of decent partners out there who will see you are more than a body. You deserve to be treated as more. He can buy a Fleshlight. Don't let him use you as one and guilt you for not wanting to be treated as such
What you said about her being a sex toy is quite interesting. I did not think about her objectifying herself.
If that's the case it baffles me a bit because when we have sex I feel like it's very full of love, I always focus on her because I want her to enjoy you know. While it's true that we're still prospecting on what works for her in the bed, I've ''taken care'' of her more than she has for me, so I don't feel like I'm using her you know ?
I'll have a talk with her soon, and I'll ask her why she said that. Thanks.
Honestly it sounds like you're not compatible. Your partner doesn't have to love your hibbies but they should support and encourage you not insult you.
Dodged a bullet. He's probably going to phrase it as you broke up with him because he wouldn't give up his dog and probably sob story to your mutual aquaintances. I think it's important to have clear phrasing “no I broke up with you because of boundaries you refuse to set with your dog.”
I really hope it works out for you guys. There has to be a reason why only you think it's going badly and he doesn't. Marriage is difficult and you guys have to come together to find ways to make it work.
Maybe you should try doing it with a dilly and ur bum and practice that way! Good luck!
I usually say “I am seeing someone else and it is not respectful for me to have contact with you. Take care”
And then if they give me a nude time about this, I block them and ignore moving forward.
I went to school with two brothers named Juan Valdez whose father was also Juan Valdez. That said, this guy doesn't really sound like someone you're going to miss out on. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Troll
It's lucky for you that you probably won't hear about the next young woman he preys on or the effect that has on her life, so you won't need to think about how you could have done something to prevent him from abusing her.
u/Mysterious-Wing-4843, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Why isn’t she invited? I’m confused.
If she decides to stick around, why not tell her you‘d be ready to pay for what you took from him but you won’t be blackmailed? See what she thinks. Her brother isn’t innocent in all this and he definitely stopped being the victim when he tried to blackmail you. She may not even want him to get extra cash the minute she finds out he is (or was) a dealer. It’s likely she will need time to process all that.
Ok I understand…just tell her in a nice way
Don’t be nieve, start there. She’s lying and your denying.
If you want to be single, how did you get into a relationship? If she's into you, it's impossible to say you just want to be friends without hurting her. So suck it up and tell her.
So you are just an on-call gf? Yes please break up with him.
I would have a sit down with him and tell him that you are very concerned with his extreme and reckless behavior. Be honest that this has damaged your ability to trust him to have your back and to do what's best for both of you and that it scares you how quickly and easily he threw your wellbeing to the wind for some petty self-satisfaction. Ask him how he intends to solve this, particular the financial aspect of it and that you are very stressed about that side of things. Then, I would probably insist on counselling for him because this behavior was so over-the-top and reckless to not just his career, but his marriage and your stability that it is bordering on unforgivable. He needs to know this is a profoundly major fuck-up and he needs to start fervently job hunting now and not stop until he has one. He needs to eat, sleep and breathe job hunting and therapy.
Texts can be a contract, but only if it is freely and voluntarily established. Him sending you all those threats is a big issue. Do you think he needs the money or is this his attempt to maintain contact with you?
Maybe FOR YOU but not for everyone.
Also things tagged as “teen” have gross pedo themes included in the sexy talk. Noooo thank you.
If he's still on followers or following she didn't block him. She's lying. Best to move on from her if she can't respect such a situation.
I see everything he’s doing on every screen he owns, I spend every second of the day with him. Where is there time for cheating or porn? No way
Hon, I'm going to be blunt. He sees you as a blow up doll not a partner. If he actually cared about you as more than a sex toy he wouldn't ever have asked you for sex while you were recovering from medical treatment especially surgery. Lose this POS. You're only 5 months in. There are plenty of decent partners out there who will see you are more than a body. You deserve to be treated as more. He can buy a Fleshlight. Don't let him use you as one and guilt you for not wanting to be treated as such
Thank you for your advice.
What you said about her being a sex toy is quite interesting. I did not think about her objectifying herself.
If that's the case it baffles me a bit because when we have sex I feel like it's very full of love, I always focus on her because I want her to enjoy you know. While it's true that we're still prospecting on what works for her in the bed, I've ''taken care'' of her more than she has for me, so I don't feel like I'm using her you know ?
I'll have a talk with her soon, and I'll ask her why she said that. Thanks.
Honestly it sounds like you're not compatible. Your partner doesn't have to love your hibbies but they should support and encourage you not insult you.
It ended when you started cheating.
record him and play it for her. problem solved
Dodged a bullet. He's probably going to phrase it as you broke up with him because he wouldn't give up his dog and probably sob story to your mutual aquaintances. I think it's important to have clear phrasing “no I broke up with you because of boundaries you refuse to set with your dog.”
I really hope it works out for you guys. There has to be a reason why only you think it's going badly and he doesn't. Marriage is difficult and you guys have to come together to find ways to make it work.
Oh my god grow up and stop being so naive.
OP, this is not someone you want to build a life with. This is not a partnership.
Break up and try again buddy, I promise you'll be glad you did.