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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
I would recommend that stop helping her immediately especially since you mentioned she doubled down when asked to apologize for you to help her again. You need to remain firm on this. She’ll struggle, she’ll complain, she’ll likely get overwhelmed and cuss you out. Do nothing. She doesn’t appreciate what you did for her nor does she deserve your help. You might even suggest she hires help. She seems to make plenty and can hire her own help.
If she does come back hat in hand after getting overwhelmed, set a very hot boundary that 1. She never speaks to you like that again. 2. I’d suggest that you limit the amount of time you spend working on her. You say that you are no longer working the same schedule as before and you work for her 2 nights a week MAX and that it’s a courtesy meaning if you want a break, you take one. You work nude and deserve to relax.
Additionally if she wants more than that, I wouldn’t be opposed to requesting payment for your help or suggesting she hire someone. She’s making 11k a month, she can afford to hire her own help.
If you decide that this is the end, consult a lawyer this week.
He’s abusing your animals. He’s mean and has no empathy for 2 living creatures. He’s an absolute monster and you need to get away from him before he amps up his abuse on you too.
Not enough context for me to give solid advice, but what it seems to me is that you both are hurting when you have these conversations.
And, to me, when you are both hurting (or upset, not happy, insert other synonyms) when discussing an issue, it removes clarity, objective reason, and ability to “see through the fog”, so to speak. This doesn't often lead to tangible change in the behavior.
If there's a way for you two to discuss these matters in a way where you aren't “hurting” so much, maybe it'll help. The fact he says this means he's hurt, the fact you bring it up means you're hurt, IDK “hurt” is the only word I can think of, but I hope you know what I mean.
Maybe you both could benefit from thinking how the other person is feeling a little more during times like this.
You aren't a bad person and neither is he,you both are allowed to set whatever standard you want in a relationship,if he wants someone who isn't on social media all the time thats fine,if you want to be on social media and Instagram all the time that's perfectly ok to but you can't force him to be ok with it, he was right to call it quits and move on,no reason to drag it out
Woman here.
If I both asked him out AND chose the location, I expect to pay. It’s basic etiquette.
She’s treating you like a meal ticket.
You'll need to provide all the context if you want advice. How old are you both?
Lol your husband sounds like a complete loser. What type of man with a wife and kid lives at his father in law’s house and then disrespects the guy who gave him and his family a place to live!?
Without knowing more, I probably agree with your dad that this dude is not good enough, he’s already proven himself to be a loser.
And if your dad doesn’t want him there, that’s his own choice. It’s his house, his rules. And then your husband feels entitled and thinks he shouldn’t have to ask to come over to someone else’s house? Lol yeah screw that d-bag loser husband, I can see why your dad hates him lol
You learned after a long time that she is not your friend and after a short time that you bf can say no to free boobs and p₩$$y . What you do with this info is up to you.
Ok, so you have two definitions of success, so chances are that as long as you are pulling your weight financially, I don’t think he would view you as unsuccessful. It’s probably one of those things where if you are happy, then he is happy. I think a lot of guys aren’t really concerned about the financial success of their partner, I am one of them, as long as that person doesn’t require you to fund their lifestyle. IMO being happy with your career is far more important, some people are fulfilled by what they do, others by what they make. Just talk to him. I think that will relieve a lot of your anxiety.
Just end it already.
If you’re so embarrassed that you won’t tell your friends and family you’ve been back together then you know this is no good.
Tell him to get a vasectomy. You put in effort on your part not to get pregnant, now it’s his turn. If he refuses, well I guess he’s going without sex for a while. Don’t let him con you again
OP your feelings and your boundaries about having sex with condoms is entirely valid. I think you need to get your husband into couples counseling. As for all the comments on here saying Op is mentally ill for having sexual boundaries that are being regularly violated, go to hell. You people are unbelievable. Good luck OP.
She doesn’t sound like a friend!
Watch your back. Seems like she is purposefully putting you down/embarrassing you to 1 – make herself feel better, 2 – because she has eyes for your bf, or 3 – a combination of the above.
In my opinion, a friends job when meeting a new bf is to pump up said friend in the eyes of the new man, not tear them down.
If you are really close, have a conversation with her alone and explain how you feel when she acts this. If she isn’t receptive, then she isn’t really your friend.
Oh she's nice, stabs you in the back but then wants support ?♀️ whatever her reasons are low self esteem, jealous whatever, she's a shit friend
Taking away her choice is disgusting
Well that’s dramatic af
just because you were like that at 25 it doesn’t mean everyone has to be like that yk?
yeah, which is why she shouldnt have shown her boobs. im arguing that adults should be able to make their own decisions.
Gotta be honest I was expecting a different story from the title
Why would you stay in this relationship? You must have extremely low self esteem. You could start building it back up by taking control of your life and leaving this relationship.
The strange part is that the mother plans on listing her surname. She also don’t want me to be listed as the father. However she wants child support money from me. How much should I give her? Half my paycheck?
Honestly, for me, it’s because I know what it looks like when you’re just coming off your period, or when you’re right about to get it. It can be either clots, or brown and dried. It’s not dirty or shameful, we just respect you enough to know you probably don’t want that in your mouth. Especially by surprise. I couldn’t relax enough for it to be worth it, and your wife probably feels the same.
And by “fertile window” do you mean she only lets you do it for 5 days a month? Or just for a few days before and after her period?
Ding ding ding – this!
She doesn’t sound mature enough to be in a healthy relationship.
This seems pretty straightforward to me. You're either paying her to date you, or you aren't.
Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt UNTIL they cross the line or might insinuate doing some harm.
It could be closure for your husband. It could be her trying to push back into his life, you won't know until it happens.
I think you should let your husband make the decision on his own, he's 36.
Well done! This reminds me of the situation where the (ex) boyfriend kept telling the poster that she smelled bad. It turns out it was a manipulation tactic to make her feel insecure so that she wouldn't leave. Guess what- she left! Life is too short to have to put up with emotional abuse
I would shoot her a text like “Not sure where we stand. You seemed like you needed space last time I saw you. If you ever want to hang let me know” and leave it at that. Give her all the space in the world.
Just tell her “No. I do not want to date you. I only see you as a friend.”
Don't soften the blow.
Don't be harsh or unkind, but do be clear, direct, and don't give her any reason to think you will change your mind.
You can't help hurting her feelings, but being clear and direct is the best approach.
Thank you, amazing that Reddit is such a place that the truth can get downvoted because it's not very nice…
They look for a good provider which translates into money more or less. You can deny that all you want but then you also deny biology. Show me the woman that marries a poor man with no job or a minimum wage job, but he is a good guy. That is a rare exception.
More u complain about this the needier it makes u look
I 100% thought I was in AITA. So I guess she wasn’t asking but the answer is still yes.
he believes sex is anything more than kissing while I believe it’s penetration
You're right. They're sexual activities, but it's not sex unless a sex organ enters your body (top or bottom). You can't make him do anything, and nor should you. Sex is nice cause it allows you to give while (selfishly) receiving, but it's not anything that can't wait. You just need to be patient taking turns. Your problem is you're not even doing that. Outside of you being up and not waiting until 24 to have someone touch you, your best bet would be to do it yourself or buy a toy… or wait 6 years.
How did your mom pass away? Maybe I watch to much dateline but that behavior after her passing is insane…
Dump the therapist, work on getting a restraining order and If you have the ability and means consider moving.
All good points. I guess I just have kept the rose colored glasses on for too long.
Rule for healthy adult relationships: Don’t date people that throw and break shit as a tactic during arguments.
Glad to know I'm not the only one confused ?
Yeah, you are right. It would be better if I just tell her, but the thing is that my gf hated Nicol at start of our relationship and I don’t want to ruin it. Gf is okay with her now.
Maybe I’m insane but why is everyone implying that the pregnant person is insisting on being accommodated?
Its reddit and they hate pregnant women,
Nowhere here did i read anything other than the married couple to be want this person at their wedding and are sad that all their plans aren't something they're comfortable having a pregnant person do.
Which is emotional abuse. Consider yourself lucky that you don’t live! with this jerk and make a clean break. He’s not worth your time.
As others have said, get away as soon as possible and as safely as possible. Have someone with you.
When you said that he flipped out about not replying to a text, it reminded me of a conversation I overheard in a classroom between two international students. The guy came into the class and immediately started asking why the girl hadnt replied to hus texts. This was the first week of classes and they had only just net.
Her one-sentence response has stuck with me for 20 years and has influenced my relationship with my phone.
She simplicity said, “my phone is for my convenience, not yours.”
Now that is not the same since you and your BF are (were?) in a relationship and mutual respect would bring different expectations. However, OP's boyfriend did not respect her.