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Three seconds. Three seconds?? It had to be a pocket dial. You just ruined your relationship over an accidental misdial from a year ago.
But, it's all good. You sound pretty controlling and jealous to a ridiculous degree, so she dodged a bullet.
Like when you force a monogamous person into stuff like this, they usually don’t engage they just start dating someone else lol.
For her to ask him repeatedly what he wants and put so much effort into finding something only to have him not say a word about his preferences is kind of a shit thing to do
That's not the part of the situation that was in your comment or what I was replying about. That is shitty, we all know that (except him apparently).
It's not even a love language thing. Kissing is a huge part of intimacy in most cultures. It's close to telling your partner you refuse to have PIV sex. Sure, you can get along without it and fulfill that need in other ways, but the majority of people won't be satisfied without it.
And speaking of sex, I'm guessing if she doesn't kids, she doesn't do oral either. A lot of people don't, but no kissing and no oral is a hot sell.
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Bruh, she sent me nudes unprompted. Why would she think that's a good Idea?
She probably felt extremely comfortable with you and you showed her a side of you that she didn't know existed
I didn't wanna see those sides of her. She showed them to me even tho I expressed clear disinterest. Why does that make me the asshole?
Ouch, sucks that happened to you. You truly deserve better.
Honestly, if I were in your situation I'd focus on myself and not get caught up in trying to find validation through dating. I can imagine you feel like you need the validation after what happened to you, but the reality is that's never a good reason to start dating.
If you're cool with being less serious and just having fun, that's of course an option. Just focus on enjoying yourself, while you build yourself back up.
Then you let it happen & deal with the discomfort. Sometimes we do things that feel uncomfortable because it’ll make our partner happy.
Me too actually, so I looked it up. Found nothing. Just Your friendly neighborhood commenter saving you the trip!
You came here for advice and I gave it. I said that she was a problem. Instead, you took it as that I'm wrong about it and then went on about love. If you're here for advice, then acknowledge that maybe I'm building up to an important piece of advice. And here it is:
You don't know what you're doing. You said it yourself, “i honestly can't tell you that i can” regarding telling the difference between love and passion. You don't understand love to its proper except. You have no valid reason to know the difference between passion and love.
And all I see between you two is passion. Not love. It's easy to mix it up.
And yes, I loved someone when I was younger. I felt the very things you felt. And that's why I'm trying to warn you that maybe it's not love. Because it wasn't for me. It was passion. It was that good feeling and the passion of love that guided that relationship, and it was a dumpster fire in the end because I was “blinded by love” just like you.
So there you go, that's my advice.
Cut bait, my son. You’re young and this relationship is not right for you. It sounds stifling.
Lol, of course you got downvoted
What do you mean? What’s obscene about it?
Kind of a NSFW topic- Last time we were intimate I asked him to do something differently bc I was uncomfortable (he was going down on me)
He said “no”. I looked at him crazy. He went to the bathroom and came back and apologized. Said he was enjoying himself and felt criticized by me so that’s why he said no?
Weirdest interaction I’ve had while doing the dirty with someone tbh
Then you need a better one. Jfc you're 30 not 18. Take the rose coloured glasses off. It's not romantic to have to save someone. Get a puppy if you need to look after something helpless, it'll cost less.
So you were originally invited,then he never brought it up again while secretly planning to go without you ,even though you tried asking him about it . Yeah seems like he doesn’t want to work on anything .when he goes to this concert stay true to your word bc he really doesn’t care about you.
I'd just keep doing what you're doing and keeping an eye on your partner. Tell her to stop with the jokes because you don't like them and let her deal with whatever she has going.
There's a chance that she's just dealing with it on her own and doesn't want to talk about it. At any rate, you can't exactly convince her to fess up about whatever's going on if he doesn't want to talk about it.
Lol what happened to “during this time my partner was a great support to me.”
Now that no one thinks he's in the wrong, he actually treated you horribly?
someone commented earlier but i just noticed it was deleted
I'm sorry it's not the answer you wanted because it's not so cut and dried. Who is controlling? Both might say they want the best for you but what does your trusted people think is right?
You block him everywhere.
Don't let your relationship with your mother be your foundation for relationships with others. If anything it should be the opposite or you should base it off your relationship with father and brother (if your relationship with them isn't toxic). Not everyone in the world is qualified to be a parent and you aren't at fault for having been born to a shitty parent. You just need to learn from the bad as an example of what not to do. Like not clinging onto someone who doesn't treat you with respect and just focus more on people that do respect you. Your only issue right now is you are putting more time and energy into people who don't deserve it and not really into those who actually do something to earn it. If your relationship with your father and brother are good, then that should be whats on your mind way more than your mother who has done nothing. Even in relationships and friendships, cut off those who are disrespectful and focus on the ones that have actually shown respect. The type of people you choose to surround yourself is your choice and responsibility.
Your mom is an adult capable of making her own decisions. Try respecting her as another adult rather than treating her like an object you own.
Your relationship sounds over, it’s time to move on. I’m not trying to be mean, he’s telling you what he wants and it isn’t you.
Let me guess, they're close because their mother locked them up in an attic when they were kids and they had no one but each other and now they can't online without each other?
Jeez, this story hasn't just been done once, there are multiple sequels. All I will say is you're a better writer than V.C. Andrew's ghost writer!
Plans need to be made for what? They know the day and place. Why can't people be trusted to sort their own gear and food? I'd rather do it that way than coordinate 30 people.
You said he was in the military and he got out. Did he see some real bad action and awful things there, which could have led to mental issues on his side? It could be that he has had his body and mind kind of shut down his emotions over time. Like, he wouldn't have wanted to feel horrific things from his army days so he has numbed down his feelings over time to not feel anything at all – be it positive or negative. That is a real thing that can happen and it may be something that he has had to go through.
Besides the military potentially fucking him emotionally, the rest suggests that he may not be that good a partner to you. He should be trying to help you lose weight, if that is a concern for both of you, and be more attentive to your needs. Sex shouldn't just be about him getting off, but it should be about your needs being met ideally first and then focusing on him… He should be making more of an effort to go to your football games as well. Even if he hates football with a passion, his wife enjoys the sport so he should be there to support her. It's not like someone is asking him to pay $100 to watch you play each time, is it?
There is a lot that will need to be addressed by him and not sure if it is realistic to expect things to go from this terrible back to what you'd expect from a loving partner. Hopefully things can work out but it will take effort from his side, if he is invested, in achieving that.
Step 1: stop cribbing about it to random people on reddit.
You, my friend, are grade-S level crazy. Please go ahead with your plan and save that poor guy from yourself.