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u/Additional_Day_457, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
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You shouldn’t go back. The red flags are much ???
Notice how she’s gone for the smallest amount of truth. • sex for only one minute – because she can’t deny it happened • doesn’t remember anything – so you can’t blame her for cheating and she can blame intoxication • wasn’t assault (so you won’t tell her to press charges) • the other friend just left 30 minutes before (why didn’t the bff leave with him???)- so you won’t think anything happened overnight • coherent enough you at 8 to check when you’re coming home but not enough to not cheat???
You definitely need to contact the guy and the best friend. Find out if this was really the first and only time and if the bff was there at all, when he left and why his bff didn’t leave with him. Check her phone (show up unannounced and ask to check it. Maybe even text the bff from her phone
That's a helpful perspective. One thing to note is that even though I'm 29, I've only ever been in one relationship and it lasted only 3 months. Due to going to an all boys high school, double majoring and competing in sports in college, and then getting a PhD, I just didn't find the time to meet people. So while she is probably bad at relationships, I'm going to bad too, probably.
I believe in seeking enlightenment during situations like this. Here’s a hymn or mantra for you to contemplate:
“I’m not leaving, but you can go. The kids say here because you messed up big time. I also need to decide if I want to be married to you.”
Bro, I’m so sorry this happened… do not, under any circumstances, leave that house.
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t as mad I got caught just the fact she checked my phone, but I made it about both
Yeah so there's a lot that I had to cut for the sake of brevity but things are pretty complicated. Basically what happened with the breakup is that I made a joke that made her uncomfortable (I say a lot of stupid shit constantly) and instead of talking to me about so that we could move past it or figure something out she asked her friends for advice and they said to just completely cut me out of her life basically. One of said friends also had a thing for her and so they dated briefly for a bit after we broke up.
Later this year she found out she has bipolar and so she reached back out to me because she knew she treated me really harshly and apologised for that, she's now on medication to help with the bipolar.
Her parents are pastors which is why they seem a little on the controlling side. N had warned me ahead of time that it was very unlikely we would kiss at midnight or that she would really share any physical touch with me because of her parent's which I thought was understandable however they were very loving of one another many times throughout the night. At one point when N and I went on a brief drive to grab some food for the game night I tried to lean in for a kiss but she pulled away and said that she just really didn't want to do that tonight.
You might naturally want to stay at home all day. But you can't always just give in to your strongest natural tendencies. Your husband is right, you can't just stay at home all day. You need a life outside of your marriage. You need friends and you need to get over your anxiety so you can properly function as an adult human being.
It's not about enriching someone else but rather to enrich himself, financially and intellectually. He does not plan on staying in the Army, but he also doesn't have an idea what to do once he gets out. And he doesn't actively do anything to improve his skills set. That's what I'm having a problem with and it seems like you've completely ignored that whole portion of my post.
Before I decide anything Imma make her answer “Why did she do that”? Till than no getting back together, or else she’s gonna take you for granted!!
Do not marry this woman.
Her cavalier attitude towards money will only get worse when she's legally entitled to yours.
Run away and don't look back.
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Cares about getting a bigger ring and distant because you said no. If you reward this behaviour with compliance what do you think will happen next time?
The best ones would appreciate an expensive ring but just be happy they have you.
your wife is sick and you should definitely make sure gabby finds a good job and possibly end your marriage as well
He's lying. Trust your gut.
Drinks don’t go on couches and as people have said, your husband is being a bit of an idiot. That doesn’t really matter though, because I assume you want to solve the problem, right? Sometime when you’re both in a good mood, you need to talk to him about it in a way that manages to not sound like you’re calling him an idiot who doesn’t know how tables work. Tell him how frustrating it is to sit on a drink and spill it, and how you love him too much to be frustrated by something like that. Be clear that you’re going to try to be more careful – and do it – but ask that he also be more careful. Ask him what he needs to change his behavior. Is that silly? Yeah. But if what he needs is a closer table or something, then that solves the problem. It also highlights to him how silly he’s being – you’re trying to problem-solve his dumb ass leaving drinks on the couch.
Preferably someone who actually likes you.
She’s lazering some guys balls? I’m gonna take a pass on her. She’s still hung up on her ex and wants them at the wedding and another guy she used to fuck too. You don’t listen to these people’s advice just dump her.
You’ve let him know when is good to meet.,he’s agreed. Now it’s his turn to text you with an actual plan to meet. If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t want to meet. There’s no need to text him back. Don’t pursue him, don’t chase him, don’t be clingy. Men like a challenge and if a man is interested, you’ll know it. In the mean time, move on and focus on something else.
They had 18 years to tell their son. If she’s so ashamed of what she did why not tell your kid the truth. Not to mention she lied to the ex husband trying to pass 2 kids off as his. That says a lot about her and not her sister.
I think you should do two dances – first with your dad and then with your sept-dad. Maybe your groom can also dance with his grandmother, aunt, or your mother during the dance with your step-dad.
If he was able to be with her then I would understand, but he’s literally not in the country so he’s not leaving her at all
Exactly. Are you trying to prove what I said?
Well, Jen thought he went to far too, so don't let him spin this. He behaved a little bit like a creepster and/or emotional vampire. Maybe he tried to console her in a clumsy way and got caught in his own emotions, but if that's the case he should just apologise (to the both of you).
Leave! They will figure it out! You haven't been there forever saving their asses. You don't owe them anything …
And she told him she should not let him have dinner for “putting her through that”, Like holy shit I'd probably not want to be polite when I wasn't sick if I had a wife like that.
Okay, granted he wasn't having the best day and this may have caused the oversight on basic social etiquette. But then OP would see it by the time he was feeling good enough to write this post, and use this time to reflect, and probably apologize to his wife, while asking her to give him a heads-up about having company in the future. The point is, he still believes he did nothing wrong.
I'm literally teaching this to an 8 yo right now. When someone asks you a question, you have to respond with your words. Not blank stare and then move on to something else.
Also, why on earth would you agree that HIS lack of response is somehow YOUR fault?? Because “he's just like that” is not a reason. He's being an ass, and he clearly has no regard for you or your feelings.
You can’t fix a grown adult that doesn’t want to stand up to their parents. I tried it for 5 years. At the end of the day, deep down inside, this is what he wants. He WANTS to be controlled and babied by his parents, and he wants them to control you as well. It’s easier and more comfortable for him that way. He sees nothing wrong with their behavior or his own, and that won’t change. You will always be expected to fold to his parents just like he does.
Please keep us posted!! I hope you’re doing okay. You deserve peace and happiness. Life is too short ❤️
Say “that's cool, I'll sleep at my ex's house while you're gone then cuz it can get spooky in a house all alone ? plus he'll buy/cook food for me so we'll both be saving money”
Yeah none of this is accurate. I guess you didn't read a further reply but thanks for trying
especially throwing away lobster.
It seems super gross to murder an animal, take a picture for Instagram, then throw it in the bin.
Like I'm by no means a vegan, but I do think that the animals we eat deserve respect.
Everyone focusing on the fact that he's probably cheating hence the reason he's projecting.
The bigger picture here is you don't marry someone who doesn't trust you, and you don't marry someone who wrongly maligns your character. He's telling you that you're a bad person in his mind. That's what cheaters are.
I would give him the ring back and then start rethinking the entire relationship.
Exactly. Wtf would u think a crush on a kid is OK. Even if this girl and she is a girl! Was 20 thats still too fucking young for OPs wife at all!
Ugh i can't man. This whole post makes me feel icky. I've gone through something similar being Emma. It's just manipulative.. u think some older woman cares about u and can advise u.. bt the only thing they care about is getting you into their beds as some ego boost or because they are obsessed with your youth. It's just sick.
Yeah it's normal that partners/spouses don't join after work social events, but that's never been because they aren't invited, it's just they usually don't want to join because they don't know anyone or are busy with their friends. But occasionally spouses do drop by and it's never weird or a bad thing. OP's wife either has very low social confidence or she's hiding something.
Your feelings are justified, and if he doesn't take them seriously, perhaps write him a letter in your own sincere non-ChatGPT words telling him exactly how you feel. If he still dismisses you, and if he's too immature to directly express his feelings to you, he doesn't deserve you.