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Languages: en
Birth Date: 1996-03-31
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorHazel
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
First of all, someone who insults how you look, knowing how insecure you are, is not the 'kindest person youve ever met'.
As for what happened, organise to meet up in person (if hes happy with it) and have an open and honest discussion. Ask him how he feels, then talk about your feelings.
Everyone can have their own opinions but I would never willingly go out with a guy who asked me to split on the first date. People can make assumptions all they want, but they have no idea what goes into me getting ready for said date or the cost involved.
Guys can have a $20 haircut, a shower, throw on some clothes in 5 minutes & be out the door.
I have to pay for make up, hair products, time spent getting ready, etc. If you want to factor in the cost to maintain my appearance my dates love so much as well go for it.
I'm already spending money to get ready for said date plus hours of my time in preparation. You can't/won't cover my $30 brunch? We're just simply not compatible.
I've never even had a guy expect or ask me to split.
Not a word from you. If the silence gets broken, your coworker MUST be the one to break it. To do that yourself could easily be portrayed as harassment or stalking, and you could be fired for it.
A quick update: I contacted her on Christmas via a voicemail telling her straight up that I really miss her for the first time ever. She texted back while I was asleep. She was happy to see a message from me, would like to see me again.
When seeing the message pop up on my phone I was scared to read it and tried to ignore it for a couple of hours because I got nervous and couldn't really think straight.
Her telling me that she wants to see me again sure makes me happy but I am scared at the same time. I would love to tell her to her face how important she is to me but I'm afraid I won't be able to. I don't really know what I do want at that point right now. I am scared of rejection but I am also scared of her possibly feeling a strong bond with me as well and what might result of this.
All the times I've been dating it was quite simple to me without any deeper thoughts but maybe that's a sign for me not really being able to truly love any of my ex girlfriends because my heart was still stuck with K.
I’ve been watching my father in law (about your age) go through the same thing. It makes me and his son happy to see him smile. He has a few ladies in his life that aren’t official but he’s always talking about this one woman in particular.
I think he’s having to figure a lot of things out again. He’s having fun and doing things he loves, and dating has kept him occupied and given him quality company. His son and I are very thankful for the women in his life, it feels really good to know he’s enjoying himself.
Something kind of funny, his doctor warned him of “cake ladies” – he didn’t know what they meant, but in the following week we showed up to his house and his fridge was stuffed with delicious looking baked goods… like, he was begging us to take some home bc he couldn’t even fit normal food anymore.
I think your situation is more common than you might think! Good luck be have fun 🙂
Either break up or accept the cheating. Those are your options. He won’t stop. Why would he? No consequences when he does cheat, what would motivate him to stop?
If he hates all other women except you, he probably either will hate you or already does. He certainly has no respect for you.
He probably spent quarantine on the internet listening to misogynist assholes who gave him the brain worms. This would definitely be a deal breaker for me.
Hey man, I also have mispphonia. I’m going to try to say this kindly: I don’t agree with your mindset here. Without going into to much detail, I’ll say that I was abused as a child quite severely. And after the fact my parents would sit at the table and loudly and smugly eat dinner as if nothing had happened. This trauma is what triggers my misophonia – and it’s something I’ve had to deal with in therapy.
The fact that you’ve given up on therapy is not good. You shouldn’t expect everyone around you to constantly accommodate you all the time. That isn’t fair to them, and it isn’t realistic. Some compromises can be made but they should be few and far between. I have a wonderful wife who is very understanding. I make an effort to eat dinner with her while we watch a show. I can go out to dinner at restaurants (only sometimes subtly using headphones) or go to dinner parties with friends. Therapy and practice have helped. Only my wife is aware and I don’t expect her to accommodate me at every turn. That would be extremely entitled and unfair of me.
That said, I feel you should re-examine your approach. You cannot expect to control another’s actions just to make you feel better. It’s not how a healthy partner behaves. Good luck
This is so important. I was soooo embarrassed about my engagement ring. That's actually a really comment sentiment among engaged women – too many people don't pick out rings together!
My now-husband spent $120 on my engagement ring. It wasn't even about the money – he dropped $2k on his own wedding ring. I was embarrassed by how little he spent on it that I didn't show anyone the ring. I insisted on buying my own wedding ring and that's literally all I wear. The engagement ring is in a box, hidden away.
I'm glad I got the man I loved, but the ring felt like an insult. His culture is backyard bbq weddings, mine is extravagant country club weddings. Big difference. Still doesn't explain why he happily spent so much on his own ring, but there is more to it than just “selfish woman wants an expensive ring.”
Until I found out he was texting my friend behind my back, which I don’t know why I had the intuition. I made him sware on me a couple of times and he lied. When I manipulated the situation, my friend shared the screenshots with me. And my bf was actually texting her. There was nothing romantic or sexual but still it’s betrayal.
? This doesn't add up.
How did he get your friend's number why. Why would he hide it.from you. In particular when you said there was nothing romantic or sexual.
This whole thing is fishy. I have a hunch you manipulated this from the get go to try and have a reason to justify your own position, and force him to have a “need” to forgive you/get over it because he's “done the same.”
None of this makes sense unless you put it under a dubious light. And I have a feeling it's gotten worse from him because he sees it a similar way.
So, I have two suggestions when it comes to wooing your wife. The first is to commit to a course of treatment for your mental health. Go to therapy if it's accessible to you. Read books. Keep making positive strides towards your own health.
My second suggestion is to do more at home and with your children. She needs space– likely because your depression left her with no time or energy to do anything but keep the household and tiny humans going. Grant her space by doing more chores and more with the kids and figure out how to get some of the things lingering on the back of the to do list done. Grant her time and space to rest and remember who she is.
Then, give this whole thing time. It took 2 years to break this thing. It won't be set right in a matter of months. First you both need to see the changes you've made stick and trust you aren't going to slide back. Then, you'll have to build the friendship and intimacy back. It will take time. No one wants to share all their hopes and dreams and deepest feelings with someone who hasn't been their friend in 2 years and it's overwhelming to get all of that from them. Start smaller. Be kind. Talk about something good that happened today. And something you are proud of the family for.
You are 27. She is not ready for marriage and definitely not ready to be married to you. One day she will be head over heels and someone (else, hopefully!) will show her what it is like to be shit on like she is doing to you. Divorce this GIRL! She is not ready to commit to anyone and needs to grow up. You have so much life ahead of you and you will find a person that will respect you for what you can offer and respect the relationship and all that a good relationship will bring. I am sorry you are dealing w this but you need to boot her and move on.