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Yeah no. I have no time for men like that, they’d go straight in the trash.
reasonswhyheissingle
Walk
Away
It’s not obvious though is it. Maybe she’s shit testing him. Maybe a friend makes their partner ask for permission and she’s following suit. Perhaps he did do something wrong but whatever the cause, it’s not obvious
This are great things to bring up, I agree. Please OP put urself first because it’s very true that someone could’ve loved u this way too but u spend years loving this person.
Just feed him to make the pants fit
For the friend that's hanging out too close for comfort, other than making distance between them, whats the alternative solutions?
I didn't say the compliment was more 'value' but we can't even let the dude be happy about a complement without turning it into jealousy.
You don't. And if his friends have done this before and he's aware of it? Honestly that's even worse, IMHO.
He should have set his friends straight about interfering in his relationship a long time ago. And after they didn't heed that warning, he should have dumped them. You don't keep friends who tear down your relationship.
This isn't on you and him being impressionable isn't either. He went nuclear dumping you. Let him online with the fallout, bc his reason for nuking your relationship is so dumb, you will always wonder when and what will set him off again.
They literally do, though. Strong men do at least. Sheesh you are just looking for a pity party at this point bro.
It's tiring how long some people take to realize the insults and constant put downs aren't jokes but their partner's true feelings. It also seems like even after they finally confront them about it and their partner explodes and dumps a metric ton of hate and condescension, they still want to “figure it out”.
Uhhhhh. He's highly controlling and you need to break up now while you still have friends.
No Has nothing to do with love, love and lust are poles apart
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Doesn't take much thought but apparently more than some can do lol.
Eskimo bros have to accept the woes
The same goes for you if you’re a reasonable adult with a busy life, a family both close and extended you have a few maybe three or four close people the rest go in the outer circle that’s what it’s called. It’s like a spirals and those closest to you gets smaller because you don’t have enough time you’re raising a family you’re working a career. It doesn’t mean you don’t socialize it doesn’t mean that you don’t have groups that you’re part of. It doesn’t mean you don’t have friends it does mean, however you don’t hang out with datable people you’re not in freaking college. And if you’re acting like that, it may account for the reason that people don’t stay married as long. And the life I’m discussing it’s really a good and healthy life.
Do you go watch her play hockey? Or help her study…. Like life is always going to be in flux, and sure you don't have to stay in the relationship… But if you want to be with this person, become a part of her life.
Maybe there’s more to this than what you’ve written here, but your summary of what she said (“my GF basically told me she was settling”) doesn’t sound anything like what she actually said. Which suggests that YOU are the one who thinks she’s “settling,” rather than her.
How I read it is that, on balance, she is happy with you and doesn’t want anyone else. But she’s also sad that when you go to an event like a wedding, you turn into a turtle and refuse to do anything social. Reddit is full of idiots who think it’s a red flag when someone isn’t 100% happy with their partner 100% of the time. But people get frustrated from time to time. This conversation happed a year ago, and you can’t let it go.
Break up if you must, but understand that you’re doing it not because of how she sees you, but how you see yourself.
No, stick to your guns. You’ve been spending time daily with each other two months, that should be enough time for the ‘serious talk’.
You’re not at fault for setting your boundaries, you were right to do so especially with that weak response he gave on relationship labels.
He also literally turned the narrative back on you, trying to gaslight you into thinking you were the manipulative one when he’s the one being unreasonable to expect someone to stick around when he’s not willing to commit and put a label on things.
You go and date other people. Don’t even think about sleeping with that guy!!
Sounds like the problem would be with Jane, not your partner, unless he has done something you haven't mentioned
Transgender people literally account for less than 1% of the population. There is no reason why people should ask every single person if they were assigned to gender their presenting as. That's something you need to tell someone.
Common excuse. Ask me how I know.
Your hobby isn't her trigger, it's being in a relationship where she feels lack of control (ie. Who you talk to) that's triggering her.
She needs to learn that her boundaries are for HER. Like, she could say “I need to set up a boundary that I dont want anything to do with the radio rn. If you're using it I'll go out and come back when you're done. This is to protect my feelings and anxiety over xyz.” It's something she can control because it has to do with her actions, not yours.
You're not being unreasonable. I'm sorry she's hurting and taking it out on you.
Just mention that it seriously bothers you that you're not going on dates, you don't feel like having sex and feel like you're not moving forward in life or growing as people. Suggest activites that you like and ask him to come with.
he thinks I’m nagging him when I bring this kind of thing up and he gets very defensive (I ask him to do dishes, help clean up, etc a lot because I kind of have to but it is “naggy” I guess)
Nothing about this is naggy, you online together, chores should be split up equally no?
Is it reasonable to ask him not to play video games a lot? I’ve brought it up jokingly before and he says it’s his hobby and he doesn’t see himself ever not gaming in his free time
I don't think that would bode well, but you need to let him know he needs to find more things, preferably things that you enjoy. He's right in saying it's a hobby, and that's a good thing but imo that's not the only hobby one should have and it's also seriously affecting your relationship so he needs to make a judgement on what's more important, you or video games.
That's kinda what I got out of this too.
OP, Jesus. You write he is very respectful and never gave you a reason to think he may be disloyal, then you write a two whole paragraphs about how he is terrible to you.
Our relationship has been on the rocks since we got pregnant with the second child, and has progressively deteriorated over the last 3 months. We have been fighting almost daily, and even discussed separating. I feel like he’s been pushing my boundaries lately and his actions have not been consistent with his words or promises.
While working out of town I found out he is going to the bars and staying out til midnight or closing time, if not every day, then every other day. He was going out with his coworker who apparently is also having marriage problems. This is not something he does at home, especially since I thought we went though that phase in our early 20s. When I confronted him, he said he felt like I was controlling him and mothering him and this was a way for him to do what he wanted to. He promised to not “go crazy” after the first week, but continued to go even after he promised he wouldn’t. He even went as fa as to leave his phone with the location on, in his hotel room, so I wouldn’t know he went out.
And yet you say:
my husband never gave me a reason to believe he would do something so hurtful to me, especially while I’m pregnant with his child. He has always been very respectful and never gave me a reason to doubt his loyalty.
I'm just gonna say it bluntly because I think you need it. You are delusional. Actually literally delusional. You write a wall of text with examples of him being disrespectful and disloyal – hidinghis excursions from you IS disloyalty – and then go “he never acted disrespectfully or disloyally”. You are in la-la-land, living so deep in denial, it's like the Mariana Trench of denial.
No, wasn't Snapchat. I don't feel like it was spam I could be reading too much into it too.
You’re both toxic, break up and move on
Ma’am you are waaaay too old to be dealing with high school level bullshit. Don’t play games with grown ass men.
It’s not acceptable for her to take your car and leave you without transportation for several more days.
It’s a good idea to give her an opportunity to return the car before calling the police for two reasons. First, if she does return it voluntarily you get your car back quicker than going through the police who may or may not be able to locate it. Second, if you have a record showing you demanded return of the car and she still doesn’t comply, the police will take you more seriously and any claim by her that she had your permission to take the vehicle would not be credible.
I suggest you text her something saying that she didn’t have your permission to take your car and if it’s not back by (date/time) you will report it stolen to the police. And then do exactly that if she doesn’t comply.
I dont understand why she keeps posting.
damn you're a way better person than i am because i would never consider using (wasting) a good chunk of pto from my own job to go do work for free lmao. like i truly don't understand how you are letting yourself get walked all over. why are you so scared of a fight? if it turns into a fight then that's on him because your requests are reasonable. i mean for fuck's sake you're not even asking for a payment, you asked to do a couple's massage, which would partially benefit HIM as well as you, and he still said no? girl know your worth. please. god damn. i feel so sad for you.
Haha, I didn’t because, as I told my FIL, it’s rude to ask someone if you can do something if you’re just going to do it regardless of their answer anyway. We get along well and he thought it was hilarious.
She graduated high school in May 2021 so probably sometime fairly recently yeah. He claims he didn’t know/think about all that and was just seeing how she was doing. ??♀️
Your husband doesn’t seem to understand how easy it is for women to attract sexual partners. Do this: both of you make a Tinder profile and then compare the results. Once he sees how many options you have compared with what he gets that should slap him back into reality and forget about this open marriage mess. You should both go to individual counseling(IC) and marriage counseling(MC) to figure this out in a healthy way.
Learn from this, grow from this, be single for a while and learn to love and respect yourself, and think naked about what you want and need from a relationship before getting into the next one. Do NOT get back with her, she has moved on.