I was with ya till you called it hanging out with your kids in one of your comments. Being a SAHP isn’t hanging out with your kids it’s cleaning them, keeping them safe, keeping them on routine, making sure they get to appointments on time. It’s being their nanny, maid, nurse, parent, and teacher. Not hanging out. Kids are a lot of work which I can tell you understand. I have been both and being a SAHP you sometimes don’t get a chance to clean the house because the kiddos have other plans. If she does the same for you for your guys trips or when you need a break I’m failing to see why you are upset. I’m not here to attack it just sounds like to me you both expected something different. I did most of the house work but I suck at cooking so my husband did that and dishes. Which you sound more than willing to do. The issue is sometimes my husband will come home to the house more of a mess than he left it because our kid was fussy or decided to have multiple blow outs. It sucks and is nude. So maybe have a conversation with your wife stating that you thought it would go this way and she will tell you how she thought it would go and make a plan that works for both of you. If she didn’t want to quit her job some of it could possibly be resentment
It's tough. I understand how difficult it is to be a caregiver and I've seen how devastating caregiver burnout can be. I'd say first thing is to get help for yourself. Whether that is a therapist, close friend or family member. Someone you can trust and can provide clear perspective on this. Then you need an open conversation with your wife where you can express freely exactly how this has been affecting you.
I truly believe there is no right or wrong decision when it comes to this. I know often in marriage you put your spouse's needs before our own, but this time I'd say choose yourself. You know what you can handle.
There have been a few on here that have been rude saying it doesn't and shouldn't matter how I feel but it has been alot of help from most of the people. Such a beautiful thing really. Gives me hope for the internet yet.
Unfortunately, there’s not many problems that just go away with time and it’s probably wishful thinking with this one too. That said, I haven’t been through this to tell you yes or no for sure. But it hasn’t gone away or faded yet and it sounds like it’s been going on for a while.
Your therapist might be able to talk with the new person and get them up to speed, but regardless it sounds like getting a new person up to speed will take less time than has already been spent with this therapist on the issue.
Your credit would be ruined. He can't get a car loan as his credit is already ruined. I'm wondering why you would want to be with someone so irresonsible when you yourself sound very responsible. I'm like you financially and I could not respect someone who was reckless with finances and had creditors calling.
Lol
Are you falling for him pulling the old “Oh it's not cheating, you only think like that because you're a crazy girl” line??
Please….please stop being an idiot. How are you even asking this question?? He outright cheated
Wtf are you going to even do with him now, even uf he was a warped, psychotic individual who actually thought he was innocent??
I was with ya till you called it hanging out with your kids in one of your comments. Being a SAHP isn’t hanging out with your kids it’s cleaning them, keeping them safe, keeping them on routine, making sure they get to appointments on time. It’s being their nanny, maid, nurse, parent, and teacher. Not hanging out. Kids are a lot of work which I can tell you understand. I have been both and being a SAHP you sometimes don’t get a chance to clean the house because the kiddos have other plans. If she does the same for you for your guys trips or when you need a break I’m failing to see why you are upset. I’m not here to attack it just sounds like to me you both expected something different. I did most of the house work but I suck at cooking so my husband did that and dishes. Which you sound more than willing to do. The issue is sometimes my husband will come home to the house more of a mess than he left it because our kid was fussy or decided to have multiple blow outs. It sucks and is nude. So maybe have a conversation with your wife stating that you thought it would go this way and she will tell you how she thought it would go and make a plan that works for both of you. If she didn’t want to quit her job some of it could possibly be resentment
UpdateMe
Finances should be split proportionally to income, housework should be 50/50.
Yeah fuck this doesn't make sense coz for sure she'll be heartbroken is we end it right before her trip, reality is I'm fucked
Ngl my boyfriend and I keep several spreadsheets together and it makes me feel much closer to him
My mind went to sickle cell immediately.
It's tough. I understand how difficult it is to be a caregiver and I've seen how devastating caregiver burnout can be. I'd say first thing is to get help for yourself. Whether that is a therapist, close friend or family member. Someone you can trust and can provide clear perspective on this. Then you need an open conversation with your wife where you can express freely exactly how this has been affecting you.
I truly believe there is no right or wrong decision when it comes to this. I know often in marriage you put your spouse's needs before our own, but this time I'd say choose yourself. You know what you can handle.
Good luck.
There have been a few on here that have been rude saying it doesn't and shouldn't matter how I feel but it has been alot of help from most of the people. Such a beautiful thing really. Gives me hope for the internet yet.
Unfortunately, there’s not many problems that just go away with time and it’s probably wishful thinking with this one too. That said, I haven’t been through this to tell you yes or no for sure. But it hasn’t gone away or faded yet and it sounds like it’s been going on for a while.
Your therapist might be able to talk with the new person and get them up to speed, but regardless it sounds like getting a new person up to speed will take less time than has already been spent with this therapist on the issue.
The fact that this man values you for your (fake) virginity should tell you a lot OP!
Your credit would be ruined. He can't get a car loan as his credit is already ruined. I'm wondering why you would want to be with someone so irresonsible when you yourself sound very responsible. I'm like you financially and I could not respect someone who was reckless with finances and had creditors calling.
It’s simple.
She either takes all of you or none .
She doesn’t get the ability to choose what aspects of your personality or body she likes.
You are a package deal. Had she come to you and had a discussion about things that she needed you to work on, it would be a different case.
But she just dumped you and then tried to emasculate you as she walked out the door “You’re not man enough”. ????
What is that??
You on one end aren’t man enough , but your penis is, so she wants to keep using it???
How about if we just puts a bag on your head while she has sex with you?
Then she won’t have to worry about looking at you.
You deserve better. Put your effort, energy and affection into a person who will return it.
Put your time into a person who wants all of you.
Don’t accept less than what you are willing to put in yourself.
Yes, break it off. Stop torturing yourself.
The wedding is off until honesty is on the table… right? Right!