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“I am basically grounded” If that's your attitude about having to deal with the consequences of YOUR infidelity then boy you're way more of a garbage person than the average shitty cheater. ?
I'd wonder why they ever felt the need to keep it secret in the first place.
My girlfriend knows that if a mate of mine was sobbing on the sofa, she can cuddle him. Comforting someone is not sexual, and I'd be fine with that happening.
I appreciate that. You like the way you put that. I hadn’t even thought about her using me as a way to manage her feelings and thinking back to conversations we’ve had and just how we are together that’s exactly what’s happening. “He is the only person that makes me feel calm and keeps my mind from racing” that makes it naked but I know that’s not how things should be
I don't think they are saying op should agree to this, they are just suggesting a way for op to start a discussion about it with her boyfriend. Like telling him “before I agree to anything, let's talk about what exactly I would be agreeing to…” and then go from there.
I think you all need a come to Jesus meeting. Your husband made a promise to you and now hes reneging on it. You need to make him understand that or decide if you want to be single. Ask him how he would feel if you were to go anyway… His response would go a long way and figuring out what you should do.
I don't blame you. I'd be upset if my partner did that too.
But I guess what it boils down to is: you can't control her. She can do what she wants to do. You've told her how you feel, and she didn't respect your feelings. Where does that leave you? Does she often disregard your feelings or is this something out of character for her?
You can only control yourself. So you have to ask yourself if this is something you can accept in your partner. If you think you can work through this, then go for it. If you don't think it's worth it or you can't move past it or it's a trend and not just a one-off thing…well, you'll have to decide what to do with that.
But fwiw, from what you've said here it sounds like you had valid concerns and she just didn't take your feelings seriously, and I would be upset too.
Sounds like you got attached. Big mistake.
Move on. He's not even your boyfriend.
and I was incredibly vulnerable with him
This is why FWB rarely works.
Nope. Why would my SO tell me whenever he masturbates?? Why would I care??
I think everyone is right. I hadn’t considered my parents enablers and I’m reading about what that means now.
Jfc. What do you do with your not kid, just trade back or what……
Lawyer up
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Bruh are you serious?
“I am basically grounded” If that's your attitude about having to deal with the consequences of YOUR infidelity then boy you're way more of a garbage person than the average shitty cheater. ?
I think that I made the decision that any man with dignity would make.
100% YES YOU DID GOOD JOB
It sounds like leaving your husband was absolutely the right thing to do. Pretty much everything else is entirely wrong. You sound extremely selfish.
The only mistake here was you telling someone you weren't exclusive with the details of your business.
I'd wonder why they ever felt the need to keep it secret in the first place.
My girlfriend knows that if a mate of mine was sobbing on the sofa, she can cuddle him. Comforting someone is not sexual, and I'd be fine with that happening.
I appreciate that. You like the way you put that. I hadn’t even thought about her using me as a way to manage her feelings and thinking back to conversations we’ve had and just how we are together that’s exactly what’s happening. “He is the only person that makes me feel calm and keeps my mind from racing” that makes it naked but I know that’s not how things should be
Playful_sites’ isn’t that bad as someone diagnosed with bipolar disorder I’ve heard far worse. sinsaint’s is just scary inaccurate and offensive.
Leaving this marriage might help your self-esteem.
Join some sub-reddits that focus on self-empowerment.
Don’t stick around hoping your husband will change. He won’t.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, he just not that into you.
Once a week for three years is not a relationship especially if you only online 20 minutes apart.
He doesn’t view you as the one or you wouldn’t be seeing him with such low frequency for such a long duration.
I think you’re wasting your time here. He may even have someone else and your a three year side piece. (Sorry).
I don't think they are saying op should agree to this, they are just suggesting a way for op to start a discussion about it with her boyfriend. Like telling him “before I agree to anything, let's talk about what exactly I would be agreeing to…” and then go from there.
I think you all need a come to Jesus meeting. Your husband made a promise to you and now hes reneging on it. You need to make him understand that or decide if you want to be single. Ask him how he would feel if you were to go anyway… His response would go a long way and figuring out what you should do.
I've been single for the longest time
You're only 22…you have plenty of time for relationships.
alas some wounds are best healed with a partner.
It might seem best for you (in your mind) but probably not so much for a boyfriend.
I hope you're seeing a doctor for your (I assume diagnosed) BPD. It'll be difficult to have a stable relationship otherwise.
I don't blame you. I'd be upset if my partner did that too.
But I guess what it boils down to is: you can't control her. She can do what she wants to do. You've told her how you feel, and she didn't respect your feelings. Where does that leave you? Does she often disregard your feelings or is this something out of character for her?
You can only control yourself. So you have to ask yourself if this is something you can accept in your partner. If you think you can work through this, then go for it. If you don't think it's worth it or you can't move past it or it's a trend and not just a one-off thing…well, you'll have to decide what to do with that.
But fwiw, from what you've said here it sounds like you had valid concerns and she just didn't take your feelings seriously, and I would be upset too.
Olivia he doesn’t care to talk to me anymore. Is bombarding him remotely normal? I’d love to date him?