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I agree. All I can do is be a friend.
You are incredibly naive. With an age gap like this? A teenager who will probably resent you? Either break up and save yourself the age gap man who will not make you happy down the road, or relax and be willing to let her be grumpy about it because she has legit reasons to those feelings.
He would have had this meltdown over a boss or something later. So nah, it couldn’t have been avoided. He’s someone who thinks every male has a shot with his partner because he doesn’t trust her. He is the problem. Overwhelmingly
He is going to be a TERRIBLE parent and your child will have deep seeded issues and feelings of never being enough and undeserving of love. Get the fuck out.
Also, for you, affection is not a currency. Of he loves you then he’ll give it freely. You deserve to be loved and appreciated. Please leave for your own sake, and for your child’s. Seriously.
For now I’ve given him until we go off to uni which is a solid 5 months to change, Im currently living with him so I can’t support myself on my own until we go to uni. Afterwards if not we’re going our own seperate ways because of the scholarship I’ve received.
“Wtf is going on” is that you’re dating a MASSIVE weirdo, hun. This is so not normal. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and while I know every couple is different, we talk openly about who our celebrity crushes are. Hell, he was laughing at me today cause I was busy staring at this really hot girl outside our supermarket and I nearly walked into somebody else’s shopping trolley. Normal well-adjusted people don’t freak the fuck out when you say “I love x” about an actor, singer, performer etc. And if he’s THIS upset about a celebrity, what’s he gonna be like when he “suspects you of flirting” with someone you work with, or having a crush on one of your friends? Nup, this is a continentally massive red flag my friend – take the sign Our Lord has given you and get away from this creep.
Then he definitely needs to know. The sooner the better. He is already isolated somewhat and has no external support or ability to escape from the situation, if it happens to him. He needs to know he is at risk and what that means. You are working under the guise that it hasn’t happened, yet. He could be suffering already.
And good old uncle needs to be reported for breaking the guidelines of being a sex offender.
What are you expecting of him? From my point of view you expressed your issues and this was his answer to it but you aren't happy with that answer which means you didn't want that of him? Or maybe you expressed that you wanted it and never expected you wouldnt like it?
Yea it's fine there is a lot to read if I'm honest I just wanted to check I'm on the right page.
I don't think you cheated. But by lying to your gf about gaming with the other woman you made the relationship inappropriate in a way because it was a secret.
Rebuilding the trust is going to take a long time. You chose to lie to your gf every day for years. It will take years for her to recover if ever.
Therapy will help along with couples therapy so that you two can learn how to communicate and listen to each other better.
Now I'm leaning towards you having a gaming addiction. I say this because most people can enjoy a game but put it down and walk away at any point knowing that it will be there any time. You don't seem to be able to do that.
You will need to work hot in therapy to find a balance here. Because your gaming habits are affecting your partner, her sleep, her work. And that's selfish and inappropriate especially if she's the only one who is out working.
Sit down and talk. Talk about firm boundaries with gaming and stick to them. But I would also talk to your therapist first about the gaming and how it's affecting your life and relationship in a negative way and the best way to handle it going forward.
Stop lying. You have seen first hand the damage it does. All the work you do can be undone by one lie.
Lying is a deal breaker for me. If your gf stays with you don't take it for granted.
No. He wrote that he thought they were still married and acted accordingly. He never said they agreed on that – and that is his problem.
There's cheating and then there's whatever this is.
How can you ever trust this woman again?
Also ew she's not been using protection, which is risking your health.
Agree
yeah.. they both need help
Use that guilt to your advantage and get him to agree to as much in your favor as possible. Ask him to buy you out of the house since it isn’t where you want to be. Get it all in writing and ideally with a lawyer to write up the contracts so that you know it is legally binding. Loyalties change fast the moment that feelings are hurt or ties are cut so don’t wait.
OP’s ex friend’s cousin is friends with OP’s cousin – what don’t you get
Good sex + weird dude/convo = bad experience It’s kinda like eating your favorite meal in the dumpster.
Is the food objectively good? Sure. Would you do it again? Absolutely not.
This, if you’re afraid of your partner so much you can’t tell him the biggest changes to your life wherein you need support, you’re in the wrong relationship.
Stay out of it.
If he said he'll change inly after you broke up with him, he's lying. He'll change for just as long as it takes for you to let your guard down, then go right back to his old ways. Don't buy the BA he's trying to sell you.
You can do it. You are worth more than this. You don't need this kind of love – you can love yourself more.
Honestly, talk to your friends when he isn't around. Tell them you need help. Call the domestic violence helpline surreptitiously.
Help is there if you would just grab it.
You don't want to be featured on a dateline episode where your life is boiled down to being a domestic violence victim.