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Batman_87, 35 y.o.
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My issue isn’t with not trusting her. It’s my suspicions on the dude, I know how they think ?
That’s not her fault. She was being nice. If he takes her not wanting him to be out in the cold because she’s a friend to him as a sexual invitation then he’s stupid along with the other “fellas” who feel that way
No… this time I’m asking on the comment the husband made and what it means
Maybe I do already know. Sometimes I think I do.
I dont have anyone, not a single friend or family member. I do have a job but I don't earn enough to save anything to leave.
It's better to suffer on your own rather than because of her.
There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite gender. A secure person would not expect you to cut them off. They were there before your boyfriend
Sounds like he's probably been sexually abused when younger and this is some kind of knock on effect. Only a professional can help him out. If you stay with this guy he's going to hurt you one day. What if he does keep his hands to himself for a week or something then you both have some drinks, do you think he wouldn't revert? You'll end up hurt
I don’t think you should accept this.
If he wants you to be a stay at home then you need to be balanced for the loss of earning potential.
It should really be half everything post marriage is split here.
Also you should be able to claim some living cost post any relationship breakdown if you have career sacrificed.
Most marriages end and you need to be able to support yourself for the rest of your life, if he insists you give up work he stops that
Well that precrime shit and you are the asshole.
That you tell him if you caught her cheating is one thing but that you undermine your sister's relationship by outing dirt on her is simply being a dick (and you know it). For all you know she can really be in love for the first time and plans to be faithful and now you planted the seed in the bf minds that he doesn't know her. People change, usually not on their own but with the contact of other and people like you are what is pulling them back in their bad habits.
Honestly your sister is right to be mad at you and should even cut you off for being toxic. I'd even go as far as giving you a week deserved “fuck you Karen and your holier than thou mindset”.
People don't go on a break without purpose, especially being in a LDR.
Dont vent to a friend group. If you have one friend or a close family member, that would hold what you say confidential, that may be the way to go. You dont want the group to view your partner one way then you resolve your issues. They will never forgive him. The other, as some have mentioned, is a licensed therapist.
This is something that happens in relationships, im not sure how common but it does happen, it could be depression, it could be things you both used to do together or for eachother are now not being done. The best thing i can recommend is to communicate about it, ask him why he feels this way, what about the relationship is feeling platonic and from their come up with a plan to address the issue. This isnt a major issue and it can be worked through with some good talking and effort from both sides. Maybe working off of eachother love languages.
it's weird cause she never texted first since this space thing started 2 weeks ago. She also posted a photo or 2 of us of the most memorable things that happened this month.
The fact he apologized means nothing in his mind. He gives you some concocted reason, but the reality he failed to stop. He has some weird fetish and gets off on humiliating you. People tend to over look the obvious reason rather then the truth they cannot wrap their mind around. He will one day hurt someone and blame mental illness. He will become sexual predator one day.
Or just wait until after the baby and have a girls weekend once you can party. Let husband have a weekend of father / baby time and you can have some much needed girl time.
You'll appreciate it much more after weeks of being a Mom than ahead of a wedding.
As someone who has been on the other side, it sounds like she kept him dangling. She didn’t outright reject him. It was more like a, we’ll see where things go. And that can suck! If she had moved on and made the decision not to be with him, she could have told him, but it sounds like she definitely used him for emotional support at the very least. He definitely sounds like a man scorned, but in this case I think he has the right to at least expect a decision so that he could make his own decision, not let him keep thinking he might have a chance while she’s moved on.
Was thinking exact same thing! I can’t believe people are giving her a hot time for telling her fiancé
Dance with who you want, and everyone else can cry about it. Its your wedding! Not theres! Do your own thing.
This is solid advice if anything this is constantly messing with my mental health
If she's made up her mind and refuses to even talk about it, there might not be anything you can do other than focus on if you want to remain married to someone who would do this to your daughter and you and focus on how you'll help your daughter manage the sudden absence of her mother for an unknown period of time.
Personally, I think it's totally selfish and irresponsible for her to decide to do this. Get a fucking hobby, see a therapist but don't just up and leave your 5 year old to go find yourself. Find yourself while you continue to be a good parent and talk to your fucking spouse FFS. Fucking hell.
I've seen in your comments that you're renting, one option is to talk to your landlord to see if you can break the lease, then you move alone to another place, what she does is not your problem. The other option is to talk to a lawyer now, today, and find out what are the steps you need to make to legally evict her ASAP
Next time, perhaps relieve some of the “pressure” before you go for the wax job.
You skipped over the part when he admits to sexually assaulting her
Try to take his illness out of the realm of only how it impacts you and consider the bigger picture. Clinical depression kills. It also diminishes quality of life and is a huge drag on everyone involved until it's properly treated. So until he gets into treatment it's likely nothing is going to improve. Ultimately, whether you stay together or not, he's going to have to either get the care he needs or he'll always be at risk of self destructive behavior. You'll probably need to develop the detachment to make some ultimatums here. If you can make it clear to him that he needs to take care of himself in order to keep you there's a better chance he'll seek help.
Leave.
You realize that hes not actually going to his sisters, right? He has a girlfriend!! You should definitely go. Goodluck
I’d watch that telenovela!
Yeah lol it was some rare blue type lobster too. My issue is that, it’s his money, and he’s not actively harming anyone. I think I’ll just ask him again more intently and see how he responds. Maybe we can figure something out.
I have a cousin who is adopted. She’s awesome. You have some really difficult decisions to make, I hope you have a lot of support.
I'm sure the gifts were good intentions and from the heart.
Oh my god
Get out, he sounds like a dirtbag.
I’m a poly guy. Sis, this is not the way ☹️. OP has expectations of monogamy. He’s also been outside of the secret the entirety of the relationship. Giving advice like this makes life for poly folks more difficult, and the perception that relationships and people don’t matter.