If more people were totally honest you would see A LOT MORE confessions of baby trapping. The stats on condoms “breaking” or “failing” is laughable if you’ve ever used one. Not to assume how it happened for you, I don’t know.
Just saying I think baby trapping is way more common than most people like to think. It’s unfortunate that you were present in the decision making but if you’re happy with your life then you have to talk this out with her.
I'm inclined to trust him. He didn't get defensive, he didn't try to hide it. He didn't attack you when you mentioned it. It seems like he's being open and honest.
I've been cheated on a lot, and it doesn't usually look like this.
I would say do your best to trust him and put it away in the back of your mind to be mindful anything else suspicious should arise.
I’m sorry but you shouldn’t be dancing with any other guys at the club. Do you want to act single instead of being home and committed with him. Guys don’t want a girl that goes out and disrespects him.
Health declines if you let it. I am 35 and in the best physical and mental shape now forever, cause I have started prioritising it. There are things which are out of our control, but our lifestyle, movement, sleeping patterns, way we deal with stress and emotions, has incredible effect. You can be in your 50 and at your peak when it comes to health
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
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You both are young and have time to find more suitable partners; probably best to let her go and find a partner who loves you for you and not what you can do. If your current girlfriend is comparing your relationship with other's that's not a good sign for the future.
The age gap between a 23 yesr old and 35 year old comes off a bit dicey and there could be a power aspect to it or grooming depending on the age they got together. I don't know any 35 year olds who have interest in anyone who's 23 or younger? Off of the people I know they consider anyone under 25 a kid and are creeped out but, those are off people ik. Age gaps can work when there's mutual respect, maturity and no power plays. So I hope this doesn't offend anyone I'm sorry if it does.
This has to be fake, I refuse to believe that someone could be this dense….
He has warned your wife that you found the pics. They weren't for you, so who were they for? No surprise she isnt upset at the friend, gonna be naked to keep fucking him if you cut him out.
Im sorry you are in this situation. Careging can be extremely demanding and thankless. Even harder, i would imagine, with someone who you thought would be your partner and your equal.
She is going to therapy but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
How long has she been doing this? It doesn't help overnight, but she may need to change therapists if this particular one isn't working out
She also doesn’t have any close friends, so unloads all of her stresses, frustrations and sadness on to me when I get home from work every day. I’m the one who has to talk her back from the brink when she’s having a panic attack or having suicidal thoughts.
This is not your job as a partner. This is the job of a therapist. Have you ever told her that you cannot be the sole source of her support?
I’m exhausted. I love her so much but I think I could be so much happier with someone normal.
You are not a bad person for having those thoughts. Most people go into marriage with optimistic thoughts of spending their life with a partner who will be their equal.
Just really stuck and don’t know what to do. Would love to hear perspectives from anyone who is disabled or has a disabled partner. Maybe I just need to give my head a shake. Thanks for reading.
Try checking out cargiver forums for others who have lived through similar experiences and / or discuss with a therapist on your own to help you sort out your thoughts.
She was asking your permission to get with another guy, so your permission to cheat on the relationship. The conversation is, unfortunately, a bell that can't be unrung here… It's up to you whether you can move past this, but I don't think I could.
I am a caregiver for an elderly family member. It has taken up most of my time until recently when we got more support.
Cool. That changes nothing.
My sister was more involved last year because she was off work and had the time.
She still put in more work than you. This changes nothing.
My dad is fine with teaching this person, which is fine but can be done somewhere else off sovereign indigenous land.
No, you don't seem to understand this. This is co-owned land. You don't get to dictate shit.
She has a 1 in 4 stake.
Notice how that's more than zero, and yours isn't 100%. Wow. Amazing.
Thus, she has rights to bring people at any time for any reason. Suck it up, buttercup.
I actually spoke to my sister today and she agreed that she has been neglecting a lot of her relationships including ours.
Ah, so you're great at gaslighting a late-20s woman into feeling guilty for having a normal life where she spends her free time her own way. That makes you look way better.
She also apologized for breaking protocol by inviting a stranger to this family activity without consulting or informing her 3 siblings.
Once again, signs of you guilt tripping her because she did nothing wrong. She has the right to do this. You're in the wrong.
You also have taken my words out of context. In saying that I am comfortable having my dad present for this part, I was referring to the ceremonial aspect.
Nope, I got that context. Your choices should have been between not doing it (like last year) or doing it with him involved. Him not being involved should have never crossed your mind.
Which again, my sister agreed that her friend should not be part of because he has no right to our practices.
Which she said after you guilted her about having a normal social life outside of you……
Further, regarding allowing my dad to live on our land, that is the fact of the matter. He has no right to online on this land.
If any of the owners let him, then yes he does. You're either ignorant of how the real world works or you're a top class manipulator. Which one?
My seven year old offers to walk to the gas station next to our house when we run low on something lmao do you even know how to contribute something besides to your job? Talk about dead weight bro . Hoooollly shit out of touch with reality
Please please please don’t buy a house with this man. He only wants to use you to be able to afford to buy property. Someone who truly loved you would want to get you to stay in his country by any means necessary- marriage at your ages should have been on the table at least a year ago. No need to rush anything, but y’all should be actively working and heading towards marriage. Please just leave this guy. I rarely ever give advice like this on Reddit…”leave” etc, but it is so clear you’re being used.
His intention is this case doesn't matter. It still showed her he has the potential to hurt her. Fear is not something that you can control like that.
It's always subconsciously known by women that their male partners can hurt them and overpower them. His actions have moved that from the subconscious to the conscious. You can't take that back unfortunately.
problem is I have mental issues. he basicly saved my life when we first started talking. I know this is not healthy at all but I emotionally depend on him completely. if I even start thinking about breaking up with him, my world is collapsing. my previous relationship (which was my first ever) was extremely abusing and ended very bad. so I basicly don't even know what a normal relationship is like.. that's why I'm clueless in situations like this
My boyfriend’s dick doesn’t taste like a five star dick but I’m not telling him that. To him I’m acting like his dick is the best in the world, I’ve never had better (I haven’t) it tastes so good like omg give me more now now now.
Why I’m pretending his dick tastes good? Because I’m not an idiot. Why would I subject him to any doubt about his dick? Why wouldn’t I tell a little white lie about it, it’s no effort for me at all and a huge booster for him!
I think your bf dropped the ball there. Red flag? No. Just a bit insensitive.
20 years old, the perfect age to go to college, join the military, find a trade and find a new city to set up roots in, and become the best you bud. Not to say that running away is the best option, but it may be a good idea.
Multiple comments on this thread have stated she sounds like she is burnt out, hit a breaking point, or is over the edge. The double or standard is real for some and not for others. You just felt like calling this particular person out because their comment struck some kinda nerve with you. I feel like you are projecting a bit. Gtfo
i’m confused? is it bad to spend christmas with your mom?
If more people were totally honest you would see A LOT MORE confessions of baby trapping. The stats on condoms “breaking” or “failing” is laughable if you’ve ever used one. Not to assume how it happened for you, I don’t know.
Just saying I think baby trapping is way more common than most people like to think. It’s unfortunate that you were present in the decision making but if you’re happy with your life then you have to talk this out with her.
I'm inclined to trust him. He didn't get defensive, he didn't try to hide it. He didn't attack you when you mentioned it. It seems like he's being open and honest.
I've been cheated on a lot, and it doesn't usually look like this.
I would say do your best to trust him and put it away in the back of your mind to be mindful anything else suspicious should arise.
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I’m sorry but you shouldn’t be dancing with any other guys at the club. Do you want to act single instead of being home and committed with him. Guys don’t want a girl that goes out and disrespects him.
Health declines if you let it. I am 35 and in the best physical and mental shape now forever, cause I have started prioritising it. There are things which are out of our control, but our lifestyle, movement, sleeping patterns, way we deal with stress and emotions, has incredible effect. You can be in your 50 and at your peak when it comes to health
Oh hey, I thought this thread was weirdly lacking in misogyny before you showed up. Good job there bigot bob
Hello /u/DirectorHour7804,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
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You both are young and have time to find more suitable partners; probably best to let her go and find a partner who loves you for you and not what you can do. If your current girlfriend is comparing your relationship with other's that's not a good sign for the future.
The age gap between a 23 yesr old and 35 year old comes off a bit dicey and there could be a power aspect to it or grooming depending on the age they got together. I don't know any 35 year olds who have interest in anyone who's 23 or younger? Off of the people I know they consider anyone under 25 a kid and are creeped out but, those are off people ik. Age gaps can work when there's mutual respect, maturity and no power plays. So I hope this doesn't offend anyone I'm sorry if it does.
If you guys have had communication issues for a whole year before even being an actual couple then you two are just simply not compatible.
This has to be fake, I refuse to believe that someone could be this dense….
He has warned your wife that you found the pics. They weren't for you, so who were they for? No surprise she isnt upset at the friend, gonna be naked to keep fucking him if you cut him out.
Think of your mom first and what you’re telling will do to her.
Im sorry you are in this situation. Careging can be extremely demanding and thankless. Even harder, i would imagine, with someone who you thought would be your partner and your equal.
She is going to therapy but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
How long has she been doing this? It doesn't help overnight, but she may need to change therapists if this particular one isn't working out
She also doesn’t have any close friends, so unloads all of her stresses, frustrations and sadness on to me when I get home from work every day. I’m the one who has to talk her back from the brink when she’s having a panic attack or having suicidal thoughts.
This is not your job as a partner. This is the job of a therapist. Have you ever told her that you cannot be the sole source of her support?
I’m exhausted. I love her so much but I think I could be so much happier with someone normal.
You are not a bad person for having those thoughts. Most people go into marriage with optimistic thoughts of spending their life with a partner who will be their equal.
Just really stuck and don’t know what to do. Would love to hear perspectives from anyone who is disabled or has a disabled partner. Maybe I just need to give my head a shake. Thanks for reading.
Try checking out cargiver forums for others who have lived through similar experiences and / or discuss with a therapist on your own to help you sort out your thoughts.
Oh, oops I skimmed over that part where it was addressed to her, I was thinking it was just about her. My bad, definitely agree in that case
She was asking your permission to get with another guy, so your permission to cheat on the relationship. The conversation is, unfortunately, a bell that can't be unrung here… It's up to you whether you can move past this, but I don't think I could.
I am a caregiver for an elderly family member. It has taken up most of my time until recently when we got more support.
Cool. That changes nothing.
My sister was more involved last year because she was off work and had the time.
She still put in more work than you. This changes nothing.
My dad is fine with teaching this person, which is fine but can be done somewhere else off sovereign indigenous land.
No, you don't seem to understand this. This is co-owned land. You don't get to dictate shit.
She has a 1 in 4 stake.
Notice how that's more than zero, and yours isn't 100%. Wow. Amazing.
Thus, she has rights to bring people at any time for any reason. Suck it up, buttercup.
I actually spoke to my sister today and she agreed that she has been neglecting a lot of her relationships including ours.
Ah, so you're great at gaslighting a late-20s woman into feeling guilty for having a normal life where she spends her free time her own way. That makes you look way better.
She also apologized for breaking protocol by inviting a stranger to this family activity without consulting or informing her 3 siblings.
Once again, signs of you guilt tripping her because she did nothing wrong. She has the right to do this. You're in the wrong.
You also have taken my words out of context. In saying that I am comfortable having my dad present for this part, I was referring to the ceremonial aspect.
Nope, I got that context. Your choices should have been between not doing it (like last year) or doing it with him involved. Him not being involved should have never crossed your mind.
Which again, my sister agreed that her friend should not be part of because he has no right to our practices.
Which she said after you guilted her about having a normal social life outside of you……
Further, regarding allowing my dad to live on our land, that is the fact of the matter. He has no right to online on this land.
If any of the owners let him, then yes he does. You're either ignorant of how the real world works or you're a top class manipulator. Which one?
What a surprise, she's “Christian”
Sorry no advice, just wanted to validate how infuriating this sounds
My seven year old offers to walk to the gas station next to our house when we run low on something lmao do you even know how to contribute something besides to your job? Talk about dead weight bro . Hoooollly shit out of touch with reality
You should feel guilty. You’re being shitty. You both are. You need to cut her off.
If it’s not causing her problems I don’t really see why you’re trying to control what she eats.
Please please please don’t buy a house with this man. He only wants to use you to be able to afford to buy property. Someone who truly loved you would want to get you to stay in his country by any means necessary- marriage at your ages should have been on the table at least a year ago. No need to rush anything, but y’all should be actively working and heading towards marriage. Please just leave this guy. I rarely ever give advice like this on Reddit…”leave” etc, but it is so clear you’re being used.
His intention is this case doesn't matter. It still showed her he has the potential to hurt her. Fear is not something that you can control like that.
It's always subconsciously known by women that their male partners can hurt them and overpower them. His actions have moved that from the subconscious to the conscious. You can't take that back unfortunately.
problem is I have mental issues. he basicly saved my life when we first started talking. I know this is not healthy at all but I emotionally depend on him completely. if I even start thinking about breaking up with him, my world is collapsing. my previous relationship (which was my first ever) was extremely abusing and ended very bad. so I basicly don't even know what a normal relationship is like.. that's why I'm clueless in situations like this
If you care then you ask. Not asking and then pretending someone broke your trust is stupid.
I get an itchy bump (only noticeable to me) on my lip every 3 months or so. Do I also need to give you a list of the plants that cause me rashes?
It's ridiculous, it's a minute health detail. If it's a big deal to you you ask. How is anyone supposed to know you care abt smth so stupid?
I’m going to ask my partner if it’s normal for couples to track locations because that sounds bizarre
I mean…everyone farts in their sleep…if its a bad smell it might be something in her diet.
My boyfriend’s dick doesn’t taste like a five star dick but I’m not telling him that. To him I’m acting like his dick is the best in the world, I’ve never had better (I haven’t) it tastes so good like omg give me more now now now.
Why I’m pretending his dick tastes good? Because I’m not an idiot. Why would I subject him to any doubt about his dick? Why wouldn’t I tell a little white lie about it, it’s no effort for me at all and a huge booster for him!
I think your bf dropped the ball there. Red flag? No. Just a bit insensitive.
But he wants you to send him nudes? How do you know that he will not use that against you over time? Interesting
20 years old, the perfect age to go to college, join the military, find a trade and find a new city to set up roots in, and become the best you bud. Not to say that running away is the best option, but it may be a good idea.
I'd be more concerned about the drama that can come from dating a colleague than the age thing.
You have to be kidding
Multiple comments on this thread have stated she sounds like she is burnt out, hit a breaking point, or is over the edge. The double or standard is real for some and not for others. You just felt like calling this particular person out because their comment struck some kinda nerve with you. I feel like you are projecting a bit. Gtfo