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After reading a lot of stuff that was said, she does mention that he gets mad if she ever cries, and hits her. Theres a lot going on in this situation, theyre not compatible at all
I am with your husband.
Your sister needs intense help, not to crash at your place.
What would you like him to do? As in, if he comes over what do you hope he will do? You just need to rest and sleep the illness off. Having him there won’t help.
Does he text you less when you’re sick or the same amount? I wouldn’t expect more texts when I’m sick.
This is a learned behavior he needs to break. I used to have a lot of issues with this, I’d punish myself excessively for doing something wrong, and I realized it came from my parents. It was also a way for me to avoid consequences by beating myself up, because if I do it first then other people won’t.
He definitely needs to see a therapist about this because you won’t be able to keep a healthy relationship with that kind of behavior. I would also call him out on it in the meantime, tell him you don’t want him making your feelings of hurt about him. Ask him for room to express your feelings without his input and see if he can do it.
She's 5″6 and about 150 lbs.
NOPE out of this post haste OP. Not just for your own good but for your life.
Really? That anime picture give you “dark-skinned” Japanese ? Are we talking about race, ethnicity or nationality because she looks BLACK – as in race.
Stop enabling him. + stop god damn calling him. + shud be like married or sth after 7 years, this sounds like a teen romance, + not a good one
But would you not agree that partners should ideally share their passion? Of course, it doesn't always work out that way. However, if something excites you, energizes you, if you're passionate about it, would it not be ideal that your partner shares this excitement and passion? And would it not be ideal if you're able to talk to your partner about what you're most passionate about?
My ex-husband was verbally and emotionally abusive. Your husband is abusing you, not only verbally and emotionally but financially as well. It really wears on your self worth and esteem. Please know that you are important and have power and are worthy of being with someone who loves and respects you. Please seek out an divorce attorney, you can't online like this with your child. Many times attorneys will take payment plans or your husband will have to pay. If you have family or friends please seek them out so you have someplace safe. I don't know where you live but state or county governments have assistant programs as well. I hope things work out for you.
You have wasted 3 years and 6 months of your life on this man
Do not waste another 6 months even, he is not going to change. He is doing the dance so you don’t leave his sorry ass
He does not respect you. A man who loves the woman he is with does NOT shit talk that woman to another woman.
Cheating is one thing, that’s bad enough as it is. But damn. Making fun of you? Showing her your nudes?
Like the man has no fucking shame. Boy, bye ✌?
Ah my early thirties. Dating women barely old enough to drink. Cumming in them when they told me not to because they missed a pill.
No wait… that never happened because that’s insane.
It just seems to be a recurring thing
How else does it manifest? The wedding event is one situation in isolation, have there been other situations and how clear and forward is she about the settling?
should I atleast facetime her? i jus know if i talk to her she can here me out and not overthink whatever shes being distant for
I am not normally on this sort of tip but please imagine a guy ranking his gfs vagina and imagine the (righteous) hell that would ensue.
Part of divorcing means learning to do the things your spouse took care of before. For your wife that means paying bills.
I’m actually impressed at the maturity and wherewithal of your new gf to protect herself financially. Her request is perfectly reasonable.
Being in my 40’s and knowing many divorced people, I can attest to how difficult it gets when there isn’t a clean financial break. A friend of mine married a single father and kept all of her finances separate until his very inequitable divorce judgement was renegotiated and he could make equal contributions to their new household. She even made all kid related bills thereafter directly paid to whoever was owed, rather than through the ex, whose accounting could be a little fuzzy.
Things might seem currently fine, but the stress of divorce and especially financial issues can make even the most harmonious separations become contentious. Your marriage is over. Wrap this all up in the best way that you can – quickly- so both you and your kids can move on.
IDK you're right we should never critically look at things that make us uncomfortable and always avoid them. This is the way.
Have you let the other wife know. If you want to see how remorseful she really is tell the other wife and watch your wife’s reaction
You're young, you've been together only 2 years, and she has goals based on time, not living conditions, that's concerning and no wonder why you're anxious.
We want the time to be right, she wants to be pregnant, not necessarily by you (will get a baby with whoever can give it to her before 24)
I would feel like a tool or a mean to reach her goal
You deserve, better. Leave her. No need for arguments or confrontation. You simply do not want to be with her, and that's reason enough to say to her.
As someone who went through both childhood abuse and DV, I think you’re letting your trauma take control of your life.
Why so
so his sister just put a shirt and panties on and got out without saying anything, i remember she had a very languid expression and was so confused the entire time. boyfriend was like “its not what it looks like” “we were taking a nap” “she wasnt feeling good”. denial is a river in egypt. he said some other stuff while i was yelling at him but i was too focused on the fact that my boyfriend since i was a teenager left me for his sister to remember what he was on about
I’m sorry, you think that his family needs to stage an intervention because you sent kissy faces to a married man and he didn’t respond to you?
Give him 30 days to get to stepping, after that block him on everything because you can damn well bet that he's going to be crying to get let back in.
Give him 30 days to get to stepping, after that block him on everything because you can damn well bet that he's going to be crying to get let back in.
Very well said.
Very well said.
i feel like this is an extreme case of those situations where people might say things that seem nice but know you’ll take it as a back handed compliment or worse.
it allows him to abuse you without striking you, and if you call him out on it it’s prime for gaslighting and making YOU look like the ridiculous one.
I honestly don’t think he is even worth talking to about the situation, he’s cheated on you and tried to make you feel responsible for it in the past. I’d hate to see who he becomes if the mask goes off completely. In my opinion, this guy is willing to hurt you mentally and likely physically if he thinks he can get away with it
first off, there is no universal standard. Lots of local custom and personal preferences are at play. While many positions are defendable, I don't think any are inherintly right or wrong.
While I agree with you that it is not required and your relationship is between you and your partner, consider the cost vs. benefit. It literally does not cost anything to have a conversation. It may be a bit awkward, but hey, engaged life is when you should have awkward conversations. The more you two are able to communicate and problem solve together, the easier marriage will be. And for many, marriage is about welcoming each other to your respective families and becoming one new family, blending both. It can therefore be important to find ways to respect and incorporate both sides, even if it isn't necessarily what you envision.
I also think many parents not only see it as a sign of respect, but that of trust. Most parents don't want to be completely surprised. Many people want to celebrate their engagement with their parents pretty soon after. I know plenty of friends who got engaged and we all went for drinks, often with parents, within a few days.
I know when I asked my wife to marry me, I spoke to her parents and her brother ahead of time and told them my plans. Their love and support made me feel even better about doing it. Again, it was less about true “permission” and more about showing them trust and respect.
One middle ground to consider, is not to ask for permission, but to have him inform her of his plans at an appropriate time.
As for those saying your mother will meddle int he relationship forever – only you know if that is true. In fact, not asking her when she has made it clear this is important to her, may cause worse negative meddling as she may be insulted and never forgive. We just don't know enough to predict her behavior.
The real question for you is what do you gain or lose in either scenario, and can you and your boyfriend effectively work as a team to solve a challenge together. Not everyone will ever be 100% happy, but you can find a way to balance and avoid anyone being too upset. This certainly won't be last thing you ask your boyfriend to do for you for family, and while strange to him, he should be concerned about starting marriage by knowingly insulting his mother in law. But you are both well within your rights to stand firm and be justified in doing so. As a therapist once told me – “Sometimes you can be right or you can be married. Pick and choose the hills you want to die on and the prize you want to win” a 2 minute phone call, in my opinion, is worth the prize.