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You’re in an open marriage and you’re going to threaten this woman’s career? I bet you’re going to leave the open marriage part out of your complaint too huh?
You really need therapy lady.
Who the bleep did I marry?!
Talk to a divorce lawyer, it's over.
idk he shows me that he cares for me at least but i definitely took that as a red flag. even if it's not about caring he's still ungrateful asf
Lots of evil shit exists. Rape, murder, kids starving to death. I’m assuming you’re so obsessed over bigotry in particular because of your identity, but I would talk to a therapist about this if you haven’t already.
If it helps, think of this way: 2022 is probably the least bigoted year in human history!
She told you her perspective and seems pretty honest. You don't trust her plain words. You have no evidence of what you think might be emotional cheating other than them talking sometimes. People can break up on good terms. I've known people who have been married for years but divorce and remain best friends. You're projecting your insecurity onto her and you either need to wise up quick, or just break up with her if it's something that bothers you so much. You shouldn't be wasting her time if it's something you can't move past or trust her on. YTA
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This is why you don't buy a house with someone you are not married to.
Break up. He’s unhinged and your girlfriend refuses to set normal boundaries
Something more personal to who I am
She's currently making 1/4th the salary he is. Previously she was making less, but paying 1/3rd of the entire mortgage. Proportional to wages, he's asking her to pay more than he is.
She's not the one acting entitled.
it's a weird kink but a kink nonetheless. i dont think it's all that healthy either because it leads to situations like this but it's not my sex life or yours either
Caesar's wife must be above suspicion. Cheating is not the only way to destroy a relationship – giving the impression of doing so is equally damaging. Unfortunatelly, she crossed lines she shouldn't have crossed, all for the thrill of being around a bunch of druggie rapists. I'm not sure about you, but that's not something I'm looking for in a girlfriend.
Also,
Shes never one to lie to me.
Instead, she prefers to go silent. It's not lying if she's not saying anything, right?
but I feel like it's my fault cause I was like “Go, so you can see one of your favorite bands.”
She could have gone and stay in the back. She could have dragged a friend with her. She could have considered that nothing good would come out of it, and decide to go see them only if you were around. It's not your job to tell her what she can and cannot do; it's her job to decide what is aligned and not aligned with the life she wants to live!.
And you didn't say anything at all useful here
She thinks I’m too good of a person. That’s just how I am. I have to work with these people daily. Im just being a good co worker noting malicious.
It was everyone's fault, even their mothers were pressuring apparently. But the guy had veto power and was against it, he just caved.
I know because I was in a similar situation and DID veto it. I'm no longer in that relationship but this thread feels eerily like how things could have gone if I hadn't. I have no regrets fwiw. Hopefully things get better for OP though.
As tempting as it might seem to fall back into something, I strongly advise against it. He showed you who he is when he left you for the person he reassured you you didn’t need to worry about it. You should move on and find someone you can trust and doesn’t treat you like a consolation prize.
I want to live! where you're living where I can buy multiple houses on 100K a year please. ?
I’m keeping it behind closed doors, these are my internal struggles that I can’t help
I'll be honest that amongst pregnancy hormones it is very difficult to look at the situation rationally
Okay, so if I'm reading this right, you were kicked out of a commune because you made some people uncomfortable with an inappropriate conversation, you don't want to tell us the exact thing you said (which, to me, means it's pretty inappropriate), and now you think your needs are more important than their feelings of comfort and safety.
Am I getting this all right?
Quit downplaying your actions – they were obviously bad enough to the people you knew and considered to be great friends for them to cut you off. It doesn't matter if you don't think what you said it a big deal – it was clearly a big deal for them and their feelings are valid. Recognize this and see it from their point of view.
And when you can do that and understand that, then you can try to apologize but it's probably time to move in a different direciton.
If she doesn't want to give you head, then she doesn't want to give you head.
If you don't want a girlfriend who doesn't give head, then go find a girlfriend that gives head.
Since the woman seems worried about the husband, it may be worth talking with her directly, honestly.
What is the task?
Tell him your job doesn't pay you to make his meals, clean and do regular household chores during your designated work hours. When you are both done work and in your non work hours you can BOTH work on meals and household chores.
You are both working, you both need to eat, make messes, create laundry etc. Just because you are home doesn't mean you are suddenly available to do everything PLUS your own work during work hours.
He also most definitely does not have a healthy approach to household cleanliness. There will always be some messes. He creates them as well, and his humiliation tactic is frankly eye opening that he is willing to do that to embarrass you.
Yea….that was when we’re newly dating…about 18 months ago by now…we moved on from that…as should all of y’all…it is irrelevant to the allergy…I was confused, and paid a hard price for it. He chose to continue a relationship with me once everything was out in the open, and I slowly earned back his trust.
You held off for 2.5 years already. You recognize that your wife is sexually traumatized. In the same way that you originally recognized that the marriage wouldn't change much in your relationship morally, it was your mistake to expect the marriage to magically change your traumatized wife from a naive virgin into a voracious man eater.
Speaking as a former Christian turned atheist, it takes years, maybe even a decade to complete deprogram yourself. And I was given every reason to deprogram myself, and if I intended to stay alive in this world, I needed to walk the razors edge of morally justified existence from being one of the good guys, to becoming one of the good guys. I recognize that at many points I could have died, or, lost faith in my desire to be alive. I don't recommend you put your wife in a position to question her morality as hard as I have, but, conversely, you can't expect her to change as quickly as I did. And even I took many hot years to fully and truly change.
This is going to take a lot of time, maybe several years. Sexual trauma is not easy to deal with, especially within a religious framework.
It's going to take a lot more than what reddit can offer. You should seek professional advice. Even I have a psychiatrist.
I would never survive in this dating world. Three weeks trying to maintain a texting relationship with someone I don’t know seems bonkers.
Oh mG. Tell him to get back to Edward Ian (vii) times.
Tell him men need to curb themselves, their minds and their bodies, not women drenching themselves in cloth so men can remain indisciplined and out of line.
Have you told your girlfriend that you're not sexually attracted to her? If she knows, and it's not a problem for her, then sure. But if she doesn't know… well, then you're consistently lying to her. Trust me, it will eat away at her self esteem and she will start to think it's her fault, when it's not.
This
This!
Go by what she DOES. Not by what she says!
So you won't lose time anymore.
But consider if your nerves can stand it to be with someone on such a different level of “ambition” for herself.
You have been in that for 4 years already.
Do you need more to comprehend?
So, have it a month after her due date. Why do you have to wait a whole year?
So, have it a month after her due date. Why do you have to wait a whole year?
because she always makes it about the timing
Sounds like he needs to stop stewing and actually come to her in a timely manner if he wants to be heard.
because she always makes it about the timing
Sounds like he needs to stop stewing and actually come to her in a timely manner if he wants to be heard.