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Is his family a known 'gang family'?
If they aren't specifically 'his', that would scream identity theft/fraud to me, whether he is harvesting information from them, is engineering duplicates, or simply using them to mask as a different identity.
it’s like your reading my mind!
Whereas guys often are not that good at taking subtle hints, but would be happy to comply if the women actually gave clear instructions.
This is terrible advice. I am not your mother, your teacher or your manager. I do not want to train you or provide you instructions. I should not need to place you on a PIP to fix our marriage.
If I say that I feel hurt that I have to leave work early to do all the school pickups while you play CoD at home, it's on you to realize that you as an adult you need to step up and change your gaming hours. If you aren't capable of deciding that for yourself, why would I want to be married to you? You aren't a partner. You are another child I need to provide a list of chores to do.
It would be better to be divorced and only need to manage our children or myself, then have to add on the care and management of a whole ass adult.
This is really the only area we aren’t, doubt i’m gonna find someone who wants to have sex as much as she does. Plus it’s not really a big deal, I love her her much and wouldn’t let her go.
In my mind considering she asked him out, and chose the location, it’s best to ask to split the bill first off the bat cause for all OP knows they could be going to the most expensive restaurant in the city, and if you ask there there’s always the risk of a dine and dash situation on the girls end. (Not so much now since she got picked up by him but if they went separately)
Usually if I ask them on a date, I will usually pay. With all of my dates, the girl has always offered to pay for something else if I paid for the food
My post is quite incoherent. My apologies and thank you for your response.
I have told him that I don’t need solutions and that I just want his support and to feel heard.
However his body language is very cold and almost sighing. He makes comments like ‘what do you want me to do so you don’t kick off again’ ‘what do you need from me’ – the first statement upsets me, his dog about me kicking off puts a sour taste in my mouth. However I answer the question and I say I just want to be heard and reassured/talk through it.
I want to add that I never ‘kick off’, or raise my voice or shout. Kicking off to him is crying or getting visibly upset.
He hates giving reassurance, doesn’t believe it’s his job. I don’t ask for it a lot – as I believe it has to come from within, but it’s nice to hear it sometimes.
You cheated and now you're being cheated on…that's just karma. You should of stayed broken up. End it and move on…and don't cheat, ever.
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Ya'll are both bad people. Tell you ex-friend about his girlfriend then leave them both alone
She’s extremely immature if she’s saying this to you. If you have a life partner, you accept them for all they are physically. I know it’s a “culture” thing in the US, but her reaction is uncalled for. It’s such a dumb thing to call you out on. I, and a lot of people here too, encourage you to not have the procedure done yourself as it’s unnecessary. The ladies you’ve been made fun of by are not worth your time.
I figured I’d give him a few weeks to get me a late Christmas present because I understand that money can get tight especially around the holidays, and I don’t want to come off as selfish but I can’t help but feel a little upset about the whole situation
I meant “accept it” in the sense that some of the other posters had said you just have to accept that your GF will always have her best sexual encounter with that ex.
Yeah, I’d definitely take some time to sort out my emotions, and then have a conversation with her about what her turn-ons and fantasies are. I’m d also, after that conversation, follow up and ask her if she’s actually fully engaged with me in prioritizing the physical/sexual connection. Surely there’s stuff you two like to do together that you can build upon. There’s more to sex than one thing one dude did long ago (otherwise that’s a very static view of a dynamic aspect of a relationship). If a vibrant sex life is something that is important to you, you do have to work on it with each other and prioritize that. But I’d also take it as a yellow flag that I’d you’re actually putting forth that effort and she’s still hung up on that one encounter with that one guy that one time, then she’s not fully engaging with you in the way you need.
And definitely don’t shy away from spontaneous encounters. Take what she tells you she likes, and if she’s really turned on by spontaneity, work those together.
It’s also perfectly acceptable to decide that this is a deal breaker. It depends on your level of effort and desire to “push through it.” I certainly don’t think you’re in the wrong or immature for taking this as a blow. There’s nothing wrong with coming to the conclusion that you don’t accept always being second best despite putting forth first-rate effort and it not being reciprocated.
I wouldn’t tell him. You have almost zero history together and it would only complicate your situation. What if he is a pro-life nutcase? Best of luck to you.
He went a bit easier on us in Whist. Though, I think that might have been because we refused to play Monopoly and he actually preferred the card game because his great aunt taught him as a child. More memories or something. But yeah, while we didn't necessarily win, we at least stood a fighting chance and always got into the final rounds.
it's a USA thing, not a Western thing. in the UK university students share flats (usually with a common room and a shared kitchen, possibly shared bathrooms) but not bedrooms
Yea, it’s not like she went snooping purposely to hear. If my husband sat outside the door of the room I was sleeping in & talking about me, I would expect him assume at some point, I may hear what he’s saying.
So my view here is either he did it on purpose or was just ignorant to the fact that she could hear him if she woke up when he sat right outside the door.
Why are you so worried? Why don’t you go with her?
Listen only you know your comfortability but it sounds like a deep conversation needs to be held immediately so expectations are known for after the wedding
Already done. Would it be stupid to set one up that she'd have access to as well? Just so she knows there's money there is she'd ever need to get out of dodge or something. Not that I'd ever do anything bad, but just so she'd know it's there.
Is she doing the same with her other hand? Maybe she's practicing her ski technique for next winter?
Bruh I’m a woman and I don’t go to the barber with my husband or sons ?? just like I don’t want them to go to the nail salon with me. It’s a different vibe
Holy crap just let the guy get a haircut in peace
Look into BDSM and CNC and how to beat and effectively communicate with your partner!! It can work as therapy for a few people but only if it's done right under a totally control environment. Research extensively before moving forward! Please do not jump into it be fore having a good and long conversation with your partner, and never ever break their trust!
I think your crying led to her crying or at least that’s the order of how it happened in your post
I'm waiting for him to reach out because i think he needs to calm down and think over it and say what exactly he needs to say. I might catch him still being upset if i reach out now. That's what i think
Yes, that is the perfect “prank”. Scare the bejabbers out of him.. It would be a learning opportunity for him about FAFO.
Nothing good for you gf had to go, you need to be a parent and that means you have to deal with ex as much as required.
I'd be pretty upset that he withheld that, honestly. I understand that it's a naked topic, but it's not fair to wait until someone is emotionally invested before telling them this very important detail.
And yes, it is important. Not all people are okay with it and I think they should be given the truth early on so that they can make informed choices.
It's very clear that you're uncomfortable with this. Just be honest with him.
^ this, addicts are mostly predictable. Dude obsessed with money in a black market? Hot nope. Only reason I turned away from dealing myself
Is it manipulating? I asked if he wanted to hookup and he agreed to it simple as that. Didn’t ask for a pic to remind him who my “fake profile” was or anything. Literally just said “sure I get off at 4 let’s do it”
I guess so.
Maybe it’d be best to completely ignore the whole thing from now on.
Thank you for your input, it’s appreciated.
You have to be honest. In this case though, hold back on the “brutal” part.
Yeah, you screwed up in more ways than one. Be honest that you love him as a friend only, and that both of you got carried away in the moment. It needs to not happen again. Apologize for being unclear, and then give him the space to work through it.
Op, curious, when you met, had she ever lived on her own, by herself before you lived together?
Or was she always living with people and never learn to pick up after herself?
Man… I’m so exhausted answering to everyone since this post blew up. I would love to individually answer to everything that you wrote here but I’m so tired.
I could literally cry reading this right now. I feel like weight has been lifted off my shoulder reading this comment.
Everyone keeps posting about the financial aspect of my situation but not the actually relationship that I have with this man and his behaviour and now it will affect me.
Literally everything you addressed in this one post has been my worries and fears down to the t. You’ve pointed out every single fear I’ve had with this man. It’s easy to be blinded by money but that wasn’t what I was concerned about. I was concerned about his character.
Im definitely going to take in everything you said and do some deep introspection about if this is who I should even be with considering my long term goals of wanting to settle down and have kids.
Thank you. ?
I had similar struggles with an old friendship that fell off. What snapped me out of it was thinking one day “why the hell should I give myself an ulcer over this? I gain nothing by stressing over it and it won’t change a damned thing.” It helped a great deal. You’re upset, so I suggest you turn that into a profit and loss exercise. You are spending all this time and energy and emotion frustrated about something that ultimately changes nothing about the overall trajectory of your life. There is no gain here, just throwing good time and energy after bad.
You have all the time in the world to find a good partner. He is trying to convince you that you don’t because he knows you’re the best he can do. Get out! Don’t waste time. Don’t let this shit continue. The things he says to you are horrible and there are countless guys who would never think to say that shit
In my opinion when you are making a blended family you take part in things that matter to the other. He goes to my kids games. I wanted to go to his kid's game….his kid even asked us to go. He doesnt drive due to a nerve condition in his legs that makes it difficult.
Yea, I thought it’s also crazy to go to another country for someone that i only know for a year, we chat almost daily so i thought i know him well. I don’t know how the explanation becomes like i am arguing from his side.
no one’s talking bad , i literally told him to tell her she did a great job, shes in over her head at the moment. kid needs more than the situation allows for. acknowledged that bf is not without sin here, his own traumas are his issues just like hers are, unfortunately theres a kid in the middle of both these adults traumas. im here to support my bf however, not the baby momma, and help facilitate whatever needs to to get kid help if i can
Break up.
I was with my previous partner for 4 years and I had very similar feelings to you at around the same time. I wasted so much time and severly ruined my mental health which I'm still recovering from.
She’s denying access to her phone?