I (30F) gained weight and my husband (30M) told me that physical attraction is important to him. Can’t stop crying. How to stop this?

I have been crying in our guest room since last night, because it’s finally hitting me – my husband is not attracted to me.

My husband and I are both 30 year old and have been married for 1, together for 4. I used to weigh 110 pounds at 5’ 2’’ ans now I have gained and gained weight – am 160 now.

Tbf, I have been making excuses for myself about this weight gain. I’m not depressed. I’m not bearing babies. I am simply a lazy fat fuck. I am ugly now.

I love food. I love cheese. I love ordering takeouts and I can’t seem to stop.

My husband does not want to have sex with me anymore. He was very kind about turning me down and although he always is nice to me, we had a come to Jesus talk. He told me that physical attraction is important to him in marriage and he didn’t want to be in a relationship where a I as a spouse, doesn’t make at least some effort.

I reminded him that things happen and we will get old and our features will fade. He shot me down and told me that sickness and old age limits movement and we both are still in our prime, that means it is my responsibility as his spouse to put effort in how I look. He told me I was using a bad faith argument to justify my weight gain and unhealthy habits. He said that the old age argument is irrelevant to our problem because all he sees me do is eat junk and watch TV.

I was dumb founded and couldn’t speak. I started crying and he tried to tend to me but I pushed him away. I have been crying in the guest room and he heard my cries but wouldn’t do anything.

How do we work through?

TLDR: I gained weight. Husband does not want me. He does not want sex. He told me that physical attraction is important. I feel ugly. How do we work through?