I told my [M40] wife [F38] that I will parenting our son on my own from this day forward

My wife is a proponent of “soft parenting”, if I translated the term into English correctly. She believes that children should not be scolded, punished, whatever they do, you can't forbid something to children, you can't say “no” to children. She did not allow me to participate in our son's upbringing for all eight years.

If I tried to discipline our son, explain to him how to behave, teach him manners, my wife would immediately intervene and start criticizing everything I said. At the same time, I never argued with her about her parenting methods in front of our son, even if I didn't like them. If I asked my wife not to criticize my decisions in front of our son, she would ignore my requests.

So, our son grew up to be a rather spoiled child who didn't know the word no. My wife always defended him and said that I can spoil a child's psyche with prohibitions. The only time she gently asked our son to stop misbehaving was when he tortured our cat. And even then, my wife kept quiet the whole time our son was doing it, didn't let me interfere, and only when the cat scratched our son in the face, she groaned and said, “Oh, honey, maybe you should stop playing with the cat. “.

Usually my wife picked up our son from school because she works from home, but this time she couldn't do it and I went to pick him up myself. When my son went to put on his outer clothes, his teacher came up to me and said that she wanted to talk to me. It was a half hour dialog that gave me goosebumps. So, my son had organized the bullying of a boy at his school. This poor boy comes from a dysfunctional family, his parents drink, his clothes are old and dirty, he has even been visited by child welfare a few times and since then he has been living with his grandmother. My son decided that this was a great excuse to bully this kid. But the worst part turned out to be that my wife was aware of it. The teacher said she talked to her several times, but she refused to take any action or tell me. Well, that was the last straw for me. I told my wife that her parenting methods were screwed up, so from now on we would use my parenting methods and she wouldn't mind.

I think my son could use some sternness and explaining why bullying is disgusting.

But now she's threatening me with divorce.

What should I do so that my son doesn't grow into a horrible adult, but my wife doesn't leave me?