I(29m) think my parents (50’s f 50’s m) are setting us for a surprise arranged marriage for me.

My parents are very “traditional,” and I am more of the “white sheep” of the family. I don't really look like a lot of my family and have always gone against the grain.

Starting when I was a teen, I knew what path I wanted to take for my future. It was not what my parents wanted so they fought back but we ended up with an agreement that I thought wouldn't matter and that was if I wasn't married in 10 years after I started college they would arrange a marriage. I figured they were joaking, and there was a thought that there is no way I'll be single in 10 years.

I have had some flings, but nothing serious. Up to this point, I have been driven to get to where I am now. In my dream career, I am stable, self-sufficient, with no debt, and becoming successful.

There has been no talk about it throughout the years, and I thought it was forgotten. Until my older sister said she was coming back this week for an event. She lives several states over. I don't get to see her as much anymore. We are close and talk a bunch. But all has been normal with nothing being said or hinted to at this point.

I went to pick her up from the airport and noticed she had 3 fancy dresses. One was a very traditional dress used for engagements, weddings, or other similar events. The other two were really formal dresses. When I questioned it, they said don't worry about it, then later said it was for an agreement. She used the word agreement.

I dropped her off at our parents' house and they wouldn't let me in the house. But there were a bunch of cars and I saw decorations in the house. They kicked me out and said they would talk to me later. This was two days ago. Now they invited me to dinner for Thursday and told me to dress “like I was receiving a reward for all my hot work.” Rough translation.

It is driving me crazy that I'm basically being blocked out and am nervous about what Thursday holds. The only agreement I can thank about is the arranged marriage. I asked my sister again if that was what it is about, and she said not to worry too much about it but then added that our parents do notice things and wouldn't leave me with a stranger. These are all odd comments that are making me paranoid.

I don't know if my sister is slipping information or is just pushing my buttons and making go crazy.

Am I just crazy?

Those who have been in arranged marriages what was it like? How did it come up? I feel like this is not normal if this is what it is. Should I not go? Skip town?

I have driven by their house, and there is still a bunch of cars and activity. But every time I get close, my mom calls me out and says to come back Thursday. My sister is sent to basically act as a body gard.

Edit I am reading your replies, but when I try to post a comment, it says reddit is having issues. Please try again later. Answering some comments Nope, not fake. Believe it or not, it is my life. I'm a man. This is heavily cultural based as well. If I don't show up and it is an engagement, then there would be major backlash. For me, my parents and family. I would hold it past some of the elders to blame health issues on me because of it. I could be shunned and outcast because of it, depending on how much “effort” and time were put into it. I can't lie and tell them about a girlfriend because my sister knows I'm not seeing anyone. We talked about it earlier. Work is close for the US holiday.

I don't know how to feel.