My (40F) fiancé (40M) just told me he’s going out of the country for Christmas and didn’t invite me.

Hello, just looking on some perspective and advice on this situation to see if I am being overly sensitive.

My fiancé and I have been together for four years, he was born and raised in the UK, but moved here eight years ago. I am from the US. No children, plan to marry next summer.

Today while eating dinner, he casually tells me he is going to England for Christmas. I was blindsided and surprised by this information as it is the first I had heard of such plans. I was not extended an invite and he told me that he made the plans “ages ago” and the trip is for 17 days.

He has one nephew aged 3, and a large family in the UK so I understand the desire to visit, he has no family in the US. I have a very small family (3 people, and they live! 3,000 miles away in California).

I had such an enormously sad and surprised reaction, not only because I wasn’t invited, but also because I essentially realized I would be spending the day alone. For the past 4 years, we’ve celebrated Christmas in a very intimate yet special way- we splurge on fancy cheese, roast a duck and decorate a tree. Each year I search for a special ornament that ties to a moment we’d had or inside joke. We even dress our cats up in bow ties : /

Another reason why I find this decision to be heartless is that I am fairly new to the area we live! in and although I have some acquaintances I know through my industry, I don’t have any friends that I am close to that I can spend the day with. I love Christmas and would consider it my favorite holiday due to traditions (new and old).

I am so upset I can’t sleep.

Should I go to California and be with my borderline toxic mother just so I’m not alone? Stay home, and roast a duck for the cats and I? Hire a male escort? Go on a surf trip to Bali?

What the actual hell?

TLDR: my fiancé just told me he is going to be gone away for Christmas for 17 days, did not invite me.