My boyfriend (M27) didn’t propose to me(F26) in the agreed upon time and I feel like I’m going crazy
My partner didn’t propose in time and I am considering leaving
It’s been over 8 years. We started dating at 18 in college. I understood that we would have to wait to get engaged because we were so young. However I feel that it has been too long. He says we are almost at the finish line but I keep seeing that line being pushed further and further back.
First we said we would wait until we were financially stable. Then he wanted to go to law school after 2 years of being out of college. We always said we would be engaged when law school was over but then the bar exam came and sidetracked that. We recently moved and now we are waiting to see how much our old apartment charges us for damages.
My deadline was the day after he graduated. I had already been waiting an extra 3 years because he chose to go to law school. We have enough money in our bank account. I get that he wants to be extremely financially stable but it’s September and I am breaking. Every time I talk to him about it, it gets pushed further back. He says we are 2 months away but I ran out of patience 4 months ago.
It’s driving me crazy and I feel like it has ruined the idea of being engaged for me. I wanted it to be spontaneous and out of love but I don’t think that was ever going to happen. I don’t think he’s scared of marriage, he offers to marry me at a court house all the time. I just think he doesn’t care about all of the romantic stuff and he’s just going through the motions for me.
I have been pushed 4 months past my breaking point and I don’t know if I have ruined our relationship by pushing the issue. Right now it’s to the point where getting engaged will no longer make me happy. Is it over? Am I just fooling myself? Have I gone mad?
Edit: I just want to say that I have never given him a deadline. The deadline was for me to leave. It was in my head.
Edit 2: I can’t believe I need to say this but we have talked about a timeline for marriage a ton. We had an agreement. It wasn’t set in stone but it was well discussed.
Edit 3: no I can’t propose to him. Partly because it’s not what we both want but mostly because we share a bank account. That amount of money needs to be mutually agreed upon before it is spent.