My wife (28f) told me (28m) that I’m not allowed to bring our children to my parents’ house. What do I do?

We on-line about 10 minutes from my parents house. My parents built a home on a large piece of land, and had a pool built. Around the pool was a 3-foot fence made of hog wire. Not the ideal safety fence for young children. My wife said the children are not allowed there without us there with them, for safety concerns, which I understood.

During that time, we made it clear to my parents what our concern was. My mom said she understood and was working on a solution. After a few months, they decided to extend the fence up to 6 feet. Now my wife is telling me that since they refuse to install a safe pool fence our kids aren’t allowed there anymore, even with us there.

I’m pretty pissed off and conflicted because I saw the 6-foot fence currently installed and sure, it’s not the ideal child-safe pool fence but it’s in my eyes good enough. I know my children would not be able to climb that, and if so, my mom is very attentive to the kids when they are there.

This is a big point of friction for my wife and I. I’m tempted to say “fuck it” and just bring them anyways but I’m not trying to push it so far where divorce becomes any kind of option. I blew up on my wife when she brought it up (she knows every time she brings it up it’s an issue) because I’m stressed from recent changes at work, Marine reserves and school.

I love my wife, but recently she’s been very against my family. My sister in law decided to get very big into those smut books, to the point where she’s sharing some pretty disturbing stuff to social media, so now my wife said we won’t go to any family functions if my SIL is invited. Because she “doesn’t want our kids around that type of person”. Which I get but I don’t want to be the person to have to explain that and tell my parents I won’t hang out with the family for the holidays.

Recently my mom has been coming to my daughter’s soccer games, and my wife just barely acknowledges her. The tensions is insane and my mom tries talking to my wife, but my wife will be short and hardly ever even look at my mom.

I just don’t know what to do here and needed to vent. Of course when I blew up on my wife, she made me out to be the bad guy and about how she just wants the kids to be safe.

This just happened and I’m still coming down from being pissed, so sorry if it seems like I’m just rambling.

What should I say? Should I just bring my kids anyways? I just want one thing in my life to be normal and if I can’t have a normal relationship with my parents, then I just don’t think I’ll ever have any sort of a normal life.