My wife and I [43M, 41F] had a dangerous tree removed from in front of our neighbor’s [40s, F&M] house. Now they’re excluding us and our kids [7F, 1M] from neighborhood events. How can I navigate this?
A little less than a year ago, the city finally removed a tree in front of our neighbor's house after years of us requesting they do so (dangerous lean towards our home, lifting the sidewalk… it was a hazard). The issue is that our neighbors, who we previously had a great relationship with, now hate us. I mean HATE us. They are also the most active house in the neighborhood- they host lots of bbqs, dinners, holiday events, etc., none of which we have been invited to since the tree came down. This sucks for us but much more so for our 7yo daughter, who used to play with their daughter all the time (and still does at school) and who has been very sad to miss out.
We ran into them on a walk recently, and our daughter asked if their backyard pumpkin carving was happening soon. Neighbor wife told her she wasn’t sure, which is a lie (I saw them unload a ton of pumpkins from their car the other day) and one that our daughter will certainly find out about, since we can see directly into their back yard from ours.
My wife and I went over yesterday and tried to talk it out. We said that we’re sorry the tree had to go, but it was for the safety of our family/property, and we’d like to find a way to be cordial again for the kids. We offered to pick out a new tree with them and plant it, which would be a safe way to fill the space, make a cool memory, and could be a nice “restart” as a tree planted during our kids' childhoods. They declined, and basically told us that we’re welcome to do whatever we want, but that they don’t care to be a part of it and that they’re “sad to have said goodbye” to our daughter, but that they are not interested in a relationship with us so we should not expect to be invited to anything they host.
My wife cried all night, and doesn’t know how to explain to our daughter (and eventually to our son when he’s old enough) that all of the other kids in the neighborhood get to participate while they don’t.
I’m wondering if I should try one more conversation (and if so, how I can go about it), or if we should just accept being excluded. Any advice welcome.
TL;DR: We had city remove a dangerous tree, now our neighbors are treating our family like pariahs.
