UPDATE: my (37M) fiancé made me (26F) get plastic surgery before he proposes. Now I want to call off the wedding.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/xHMsksQuPL

Hello everyone. I did not think I would post the update so soon but here it is.

We broke up, today. 48 hours after my initial post and 1000+ people begging me not to get married. The wedding is off.

This is how it went. He picked me up bc we had our engagement photo shoot today, he has been depressed for over a month now over a real estate lawsuit that he started. He has already been putting me on the back burner bc of this lawsuit and gives me 0 attention, acts like I am an added stressor in his life. So I’m already fed up with the mopey attitude. He starts going off about how he’s not in the mood to take pics today and that it’s hot for him to smile, how drained and unhappy he feels over the house. I literally exploded, with everything that’s happened I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him I’ve never met such a literal man child in my life, for him to break down over a lawsuit HE STARTED, he is not fit to ever be the man, the sole provider of a family, to face real troubles of life. He has never had any real issues in his life. By this I mean he grew up very sheltered, kind of babied by his parents. He is a literal man child. Sadly this is common in our middle eastern culture.

I told him he never acknowledged how INSANE it is that I went and got surgery just for him to find me more attractive. He never recognized the care and sacrifices I’ve made for him.

I did take ownership for letting this relationship drag out as far as an engagement, after he showed me time after time how unfit he is to be a life partner. It is my fault, I ignored the red flags and I kept having hope he would change one day. Maybe if I brought him a child he would start to appreciate me more, maybe seeing me as a mother he would start to love me. I am so glad it didn’t last long enough to find out.

We didn’t make it to the shoot obviously, he ended up driving me back home. Sadly we wasted the poor photographers time. His reaction throughout all of this was VERY minimal. So cold, he would look down and look sad but it looked like he was pretending. He said he was sorry and he thought I deserved better than him. He said his emotional battery had run out. He didn’t fight for me at all, I think he might actually be relieved I’m gone too.

But this was the end of it, I gave him the ring back and told him we’re never speaking again. Not gona lie I was distraught and sobbing but at least I finally did it.

I want to thank everyone who responded to my original post. I read every single one, I can’t express how much it helped me finally come to this decision today. You guys actually saved my life. I am not even sad, I am so relieved, I feel lighter. Thank you all so much.

Edit: of course he didn’t MAKE me get the lipo. Tbh he kind of made my legs seem so unattractive and unappealing that I started wanting this surgery. He would emphasize how high value men don’t like thick women and for some reason that phrase really affected me. For context he’s had work done too, hair transplant and 2 liposuctions and Botox. I Always found it icky that he was so into his looks. He is a handsome guy, not sure why he’s so insecure.