UPDATE:My (24F) husband (31M) asked for a paternity test, it came back positive but our relationship was never the same.”

I think before the update I should clarify a few things to put you in context, I know I should have said it in my original post but I didn't, and that made many people believe so many things that are not true.

Before I got pregnant I met a man (I think he's in his early fifties) at work and you could say that he's a little too friendly, for example he liked to buy me and another female coworker (she's in her late fifties) coffee every morning, or once in a while he used to leave a flower on our desks and things like that, that never seemed strange to me because he never tried anything with any of us, he was always just friendly, and he was always talking about his wife, children and grandchildren and giving us parenting advice. Well, my husband didn't like that I was friends with this man because he said that he was sure that this man liked me because I'm young and that he would soon try something with me, and when he told me that I told him that I wouldn't stop being friends with him because he was always respectful and I didn't see anything wrong with being friends with a man. And I'm not gonna lie, he got really angry but after a few days he forgot about it.

But all those doubts resurfaced when our daughter was born, because she had a lot of platinum blonde hair, which none of our other children (5M, 4M) had, and my husband thought she would look like her brothers, but no, she looked completely different from him and me and that made him doubt, my coworker is not blonde but he has the same eye color as our daughter and he's very pale just like her. So my husband asked me for a paternity test and I refused because it was humiliating and because I thought that at least he would educate himself about basic biology but he didn't, and when I say this I mean that my great grandparents look exactly like my daughter, same color hair, eyes and skin, and he always knew that but decided to ignore it to believe that I was cheating on him. And I know that I helped this situation escalate and end badly because I should have accepted the paternity test, and I say that because here it is not easy to do a paternity test without authorization from both parents.

And regarding his sister and mother, they never liked me and for a while we even stopped having contact with his family because I didn't like the way they treated me, but when our second son was born I felt alone because it was just my husband, his friends, our son and I and I wanted my children to grow up with a family so we got back in touch with them and in fact they treated me very well until my daughter was born. And when they pulled my hair my husband wasn't present and I didn't tell him until a few weeks later, and by then they had a big fight because of that. I swear that he was never violent nor did he ever endorse anyone being violent with me.

Well, the update is that I gave him an ultimatum and told him that I want to go live in my home country and be close to my family and that if he didn't want that then the only option would be getting divorced. When I told him that, I also told him that I'm talking to a lawyer to advise me on divorce and joint custody, and I guess that made him realize that I was being serious because he said he would be willing to do that to earn my forgiveness. Another thing I asked him is to cut off contact with his family forever because I don't want our children to suffer what I suffered with them, and he agreed.

At the moment our plan is to travel for Christmas and stay there for a few weeks and move in the middle of next year. In the meantime we will go to couples and individual therapy and hope to be able to solve our problems. So far things are going well and I hope they continue that way.

EDIT: I don't understand why there are so many people accusing me of being a terrible wife and not supporting my husband when he told me to stop talking to my coworker. I've supported him since we started dating, I moved to a different country as a teenager, I left behind my family, friends and everything I ever knew, all for him. I didn't go to college until last year because he was doing his PhD and I had to stay home with the kids full time, which is why I could never have a single friend here, because since I arrived here my only duty was to be a mother and housewife, and that consumed all my time. I got my first job when I was 23 and it was only because the kids were old enough to go to kindergarten, so don't say I don't support him because that's the only thing I've been doing since we started dating. This was the first time I had “friends” here, even though they were both over fifty, and it felt good because there were days where I felt so alone and talking to them at work made me feel good. But for him that was wrong and when my daughter was born I quit my job that I liked so much, just so that he would stop feeling insecure, so don't jump to conclusions or say stupid things.