We (m35) just found out our gf (f34) of nearly 7 years cheated upon my for the first 1 . 5 years of our connection

About 3 days ago I was snooping by means of my gf’s phone, that i know is a shitty thing to do and something I’m not proud of, and I saw in the girl Snapchat that a message experienced recently been sent to a man whose name I didn’t identify. I opened up their talk history and recent communications had been deleted, but ones from 2017 and earlier had been saved (we began dating in February associated with 2016) and there were all kinds of sexual messages being sent back and forth. When I known as her out on this the lady admitted to messaging him and that it had carried on up until a few weeks ago. She told me this was a guy she utilized to hook up with right before w started dating and that nothing actual physical happens between them since we started seeing each other. The lady claimed that it was all about the girl feeling insecure about their self and having these text messages of someone that would want to be along with her helped her feel a lot better about herself.

I’ve spent the past 3 several weeks asking her questions regarding every unimaginable thought that has been going through my mind after al the constant questions the lady finally broke down and admitted much more to me:

1. She got met up with this Snapchat guy a few times since we were dating but never got sex. They did meet up at a bar with close friends and made out with one another. This would have been about six months into our relationship.

2. She also met up several times with her ex-boyfriend while i was dating. On at least six specific times that the girl can remember they met up on had sex. The last time being 1 . 5 yrs after we started dating.

We bought a home together 5 years ago and she claims when that happened she cut off everything along with her ex and sensed an unbelievable guilt about everything and this would never happen once again.

I was planning on suggesting to this girl in The month of january. I feel like a broken person now. I can’t consume, I can’t sleep, Personally i think like my whole life can be falling apart. At times Personally i think like I still want to make things work with this individual, but other times I feel as an absolute fool for actually thinking that. Everything I’ve built my life around for the past seven years and planned our whole future around seems like it’s falling apart and am don’t know what to do.