You either need to accept that they are friends or let the paranoia eat away at you until you push her away. I think this is a huge overreaction, he knows you are jealous of their friendship and past hence the awkward upside down face. He’s one of her close friends and wasn’t at her wedding??? That’s a big yikes.
Butting in here to say yes, someone without kids is better suited to unfit partners, and I'm childfree. But as a single person, you can take risks that parents shouldn't, because you're only risking yourself. Not that one should be with an unfit partner, but you have that right. Parents are bringing someone vulnerable and impressionable who doesn't really get a vote along with them and need to be extra careful. Even if the partner and the kid never meet, a bad relationship is a drain on one's energy that a parent can't afford.
OP, you did the right thing breaking up. Frankly, you knew he had a lot of issues and had no business being with him in the first place.
Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. Have your own opinions about going to a concert, but you knew she’s a big fan, so why insult her passion while trying to do something nice, completely undoing the nice gesture. It is very generous to get tickets to a concert you’re not enthused about going to, but don’t try to make her feel like she has to drag you to this event, or make her feel like you’re already not going to enjoy yourself. That’s such a buzzkill and you haven’t even gotten to the concert yet. Should’ve just left it at “I don’t have a favourite song by her, but I’ll let you know what I liked about her concert after we go”
Plenty of people have been in this situation and made it work, but I think the challenge comes when core values don’t align. You can argue about the details regarding all kinds of policies and practices, but most often those sorts of arguments come from a deeper place of what you both think is important, if you believe all people should have the same rights, etc.
If all the important stuff aligns but the details don’t, it could definitely still work. But I would make sure you’re on the same page with the things that are most important to you, because that will affect many decisions you’ll have to make together in the future.
….you wanna deal with this for the rest of your life???
You either need to accept that they are friends or let the paranoia eat away at you until you push her away. I think this is a huge overreaction, he knows you are jealous of their friendship and past hence the awkward upside down face. He’s one of her close friends and wasn’t at her wedding??? That’s a big yikes.
Butting in here to say yes, someone without kids is better suited to unfit partners, and I'm childfree. But as a single person, you can take risks that parents shouldn't, because you're only risking yourself. Not that one should be with an unfit partner, but you have that right. Parents are bringing someone vulnerable and impressionable who doesn't really get a vote along with them and need to be extra careful. Even if the partner and the kid never meet, a bad relationship is a drain on one's energy that a parent can't afford.
OP, you did the right thing breaking up. Frankly, you knew he had a lot of issues and had no business being with him in the first place.
Sure
Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. Have your own opinions about going to a concert, but you knew she’s a big fan, so why insult her passion while trying to do something nice, completely undoing the nice gesture. It is very generous to get tickets to a concert you’re not enthused about going to, but don’t try to make her feel like she has to drag you to this event, or make her feel like you’re already not going to enjoy yourself. That’s such a buzzkill and you haven’t even gotten to the concert yet. Should’ve just left it at “I don’t have a favourite song by her, but I’ll let you know what I liked about her concert after we go”
!remind me 1 day
Plenty of people have been in this situation and made it work, but I think the challenge comes when core values don’t align. You can argue about the details regarding all kinds of policies and practices, but most often those sorts of arguments come from a deeper place of what you both think is important, if you believe all people should have the same rights, etc.
If all the important stuff aligns but the details don’t, it could definitely still work. But I would make sure you’re on the same page with the things that are most important to you, because that will affect many decisions you’ll have to make together in the future.