90% of posts seem to be some variation of “I'm 16 he's 48 and he's just amazing and wonderful except that he murders people on Fridays. Recently my best friend made me feel bad about this fact and said I was groomed, what to do?”
Tbh it sounds like there's something wrong with him I'd he is sleeping 4-5 hours at your place and then going home to sleep another 6-8. I imagine you'd find it less irritating to sleep next to him if you were doing so at your normal bedtime rather than being roped into a nap you don't need or want.
Nothing you shared shows you have anything other than a normal memory. No one can remember every detail about the another person. So two things the next time you don’t remember, just say, “opps, sorry, I don’t remember, could you remind me.” Because pretending like you do remember when you don’t IS making up shit hoping you get it right.
That said, him saying “you don’t even know what you’re talking about” is a rather aggressive, exaggerated, and hurtful way to respond to someone who said something inaccurate. So ask him when you get something wrong to just tell you that your information isn’t accurate and see what he says. And if he’s unwilling to be kinder towards you when pointing out your errors, then he’s not as sweet as you think he is.
That’s a lotttttt going on and I understand why you’re so distressed. Some of the things you mention seem pretty normal to me (sharing locations by phone, checking with your partner before making plans with friends, texting intermittently throughout the day) but not when combined with some of her other behavior. Is marriage counseling an option? It might help to have an objective party help you verbalize why some of these things make you so uncomfortable and how she can show how much she loves you without crossing a line. It’s okay to need space from your wife. It is not okay for her to trample across your boundaries because she loves you so much. This kind of overbearing presence will inevitably push you away, and she needs to know that you are becoming more troubled about your future together.
See that is your issue. Instead of talking to him and saying. “Babe my feelings are a little hurt and I am a bit annoyed that you were hanging out with two girls and were so busy with them you didn't wish me a happy birthday.” Communication is the only way relationships work. I applaud his maturity to just end it with you and not start a toxic cycle.
Not to be rude but you are a little old to be playing these types of games.
This is the type of comment that I love to hate but keeps me coming back. “Dear reddit, I got in an argument with my partner” “he’s an abuser, walk out the door Immediately.”
Your are young and he has you over the barrel because he is financially supporting you. There is still time to become independent of this and not locked in to relying one someone else….who I might add doesn't want you to go to your OWN MOTHER’s wedding. He's showing you who he is. Believe him.
Still fucking strange. Did you really expect me accept an 18 year old with a 30 year old? She may not be a child anymore, but she was when she was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. It’s still gross no matter what.
This is correct, in my opinion, depending on the disability. I am Autistic, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have kids. My dad is pretty outwardly Autistic, and he’s an amazing dad, so I also have the viewpoint from someone who was raised by an Autistic person.
I hope people don’t think blind or deaf people shouldn’t be parents, that’s pretty messed up.
I say I’ve given my life for him because I’ve completely shunned out my mom because she said nasty things about him. I’ve also lost the majority of the friends I had.
What would you have done had you found out back then? You're gonna have to do that. I was cheated on like this, and he told me after 8 years and 3 kids. I stayed but ended up divorcing 10 years later.
Don't stay because of sunk cost fallacy. She lied and this makes one feel like they have held you hostage under false pretenses. You thought you were with someone who could never lie like this, that means this is not the relationship you thought it was.
She was never diagnosed with anything officially. She’s on general anxiety meds, and her psychiatrist said she was “exhibiting symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder,” but that she would not make an official diagnosis at this time.
Good luck. Relationships are hot and you are bound to have issues some because of you and some that are out of your control.
Just understanding this will make things easier as long as you are committed to making things work with your partner.
If you feel like it update me with how everything goes. I am really rooting for you. I have similar views as you it sounds like and online in a state that people disagree. Sometimes it does make me mad but I can only try to teach my kids and people who I think are willing to listen to my thoughts.
If it’s money, pay for it yourself. If it’s stage fright, have a small ceremony and bigger reception.
If you two can’t find a way to compromise on a wedding which is one day then you’re not ready for a marriage which is supposed to be for the rest of your life. Much bigger challenges await you.
I would say you shouldn't. She made her choice, and you say she is a “very anxious” person – you not respecting her choice is going to be naked on her.
That's not your mother's problem. It's your problem.
Well I guess I gotta fix that problem of mine. I kept saying I trust her but then overthinking hits. So I am considering that it may be a me problem.
He doesn't want kids.
90% of posts seem to be some variation of “I'm 16 he's 48 and he's just amazing and wonderful except that he murders people on Fridays. Recently my best friend made me feel bad about this fact and said I was groomed, what to do?”
You got this!
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Tbh it sounds like there's something wrong with him I'd he is sleeping 4-5 hours at your place and then going home to sleep another 6-8. I imagine you'd find it less irritating to sleep next to him if you were doing so at your normal bedtime rather than being roped into a nap you don't need or want.
Nothing you shared shows you have anything other than a normal memory. No one can remember every detail about the another person. So two things the next time you don’t remember, just say, “opps, sorry, I don’t remember, could you remind me.” Because pretending like you do remember when you don’t IS making up shit hoping you get it right.
That said, him saying “you don’t even know what you’re talking about” is a rather aggressive, exaggerated, and hurtful way to respond to someone who said something inaccurate. So ask him when you get something wrong to just tell you that your information isn’t accurate and see what he says. And if he’s unwilling to be kinder towards you when pointing out your errors, then he’s not as sweet as you think he is.
That’s a lotttttt going on and I understand why you’re so distressed. Some of the things you mention seem pretty normal to me (sharing locations by phone, checking with your partner before making plans with friends, texting intermittently throughout the day) but not when combined with some of her other behavior. Is marriage counseling an option? It might help to have an objective party help you verbalize why some of these things make you so uncomfortable and how she can show how much she loves you without crossing a line. It’s okay to need space from your wife. It is not okay for her to trample across your boundaries because she loves you so much. This kind of overbearing presence will inevitably push you away, and she needs to know that you are becoming more troubled about your future together.
See that is your issue. Instead of talking to him and saying. “Babe my feelings are a little hurt and I am a bit annoyed that you were hanging out with two girls and were so busy with them you didn't wish me a happy birthday.” Communication is the only way relationships work. I applaud his maturity to just end it with you and not start a toxic cycle.
Not to be rude but you are a little old to be playing these types of games.
This is the type of comment that I love to hate but keeps me coming back. “Dear reddit, I got in an argument with my partner” “he’s an abuser, walk out the door Immediately.”
You must be buried in red flags.
Your are young and he has you over the barrel because he is financially supporting you. There is still time to become independent of this and not locked in to relying one someone else….who I might add doesn't want you to go to your OWN MOTHER’s wedding. He's showing you who he is. Believe him.
Still fucking strange. Did you really expect me accept an 18 year old with a 30 year old? She may not be a child anymore, but she was when she was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. It’s still gross no matter what.
This is correct, in my opinion, depending on the disability. I am Autistic, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have kids. My dad is pretty outwardly Autistic, and he’s an amazing dad, so I also have the viewpoint from someone who was raised by an Autistic person.
I hope people don’t think blind or deaf people shouldn’t be parents, that’s pretty messed up.
I say I’ve given my life for him because I’ve completely shunned out my mom because she said nasty things about him. I’ve also lost the majority of the friends I had.
What would you have done had you found out back then? You're gonna have to do that. I was cheated on like this, and he told me after 8 years and 3 kids. I stayed but ended up divorcing 10 years later.
Don't stay because of sunk cost fallacy. She lied and this makes one feel like they have held you hostage under false pretenses. You thought you were with someone who could never lie like this, that means this is not the relationship you thought it was.
You’d still be on the birth cert. if the judge takes 5 minutes to ask your involvement that would come out.
I think it’s important you admit to yourself that ego is playing a part here.
If someone teases you, the answer is violence /s
You are not insane. Just reading this made me feel gross. That would be a dealbreaker for me personally.
Don’t you mean stop fucking the boyfriend?
OP, dump him. You can do so much better.
His response make him sound a bit like a “nice guy”. You did nothing wrong, OP.
She was never diagnosed with anything officially. She’s on general anxiety meds, and her psychiatrist said she was “exhibiting symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder,” but that she would not make an official diagnosis at this time.
Good luck. Relationships are hot and you are bound to have issues some because of you and some that are out of your control.
Just understanding this will make things easier as long as you are committed to making things work with your partner.
If you feel like it update me with how everything goes. I am really rooting for you. I have similar views as you it sounds like and online in a state that people disagree. Sometimes it does make me mad but I can only try to teach my kids and people who I think are willing to listen to my thoughts.
What are his reasons?
If it’s money, pay for it yourself. If it’s stage fright, have a small ceremony and bigger reception.
If you two can’t find a way to compromise on a wedding which is one day then you’re not ready for a marriage which is supposed to be for the rest of your life. Much bigger challenges await you.
You’re 25?
?♀️
bye!
I would say you shouldn't. She made her choice, and you say she is a “very anxious” person – you not respecting her choice is going to be naked on her.