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If it’s making your wife uncomfortable or insecure why continue to do it? Why is your apparent need to workout with your friend more important than your wife’s comfort? Love and relationships aren’t always rational.
He’s not someone to online with! He wants his way and will not compromise. Don’t be a doormat for this asshole, OP. 5 years means HE should be more committed and be willing to love you with your raised-together cats. Keep the cats, trash him.
I mean she made plans with you that evening and you didn't let her know it was off until an hour and a half later than when she was supposed to show up?
Her not having patience for it makes sense to me. Seems like a bad fit, but I don't know who you'd work with if you can't let people know you're blowing them off for work without half an hour of notice in advance…
I don't have much to go off here so I won't give any false hope BUT have you thought maybe just telling her you like her? If she turns you down you can just move on. And she does like you back , woohoo! The best outcome outweighs the worse outcome.
Was it only me or did anyone also remembered breaking bad
You would be loving and protecting your baby to the most of your ability in this situation by not having it at all. Good luck op
She's just not that into you.
ask the r/legaladvice subreddit of your location for your rights in this situation.
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I got no feedback for you but I just want to say that the part where you write, “you have to be doing it on purpose, there’s no way” cracks me up.
Or maybe I do—just enjoy her company and see where it goes. You’re plenty young to not worry about marriage. Just date her for the company and see if you grow together or apart.
Besides poking you with his penis what does he do to initiate sex??
Well has your partner come out of a difficult relationship before you?
That is something common before a transitional relationship.
But what kind of relationship do you want?
This doesn’t add up. You should just tell your BF the truth that you hooked up with a friend instead of practicing your lies on Reddit.
It sounds to me like you emotionally cheated at the least. If you’re ever in that situation again the firs proper way to handle it is to call your boyfriend and give him an opportunity to be your boyfriend and come pick you up and give you a place to sleep. If he isn’t able to help you then you stay at the married man’s house in a separate bed from his wife. In no scenario would any rational person not be suspicious that you cheated. Part of being in a functional relationship is avoiding exactly what you did.
Full of shit
You sound really unhappy in your current relationship, regardless of your ex reaching out to you. My thought is that you need to end this relationship, and consider staying single for a while. If you and your ex are meant to reconnect for anything real and worthwhile, it does not need to be rushed
I was 20 and she was 22
You say she lied. It is far more likely her mind changed. If she lied she would have pushed this eight years ago
Not Your Fault.
Your BIL is a predator, and has probably been grooming your friend for a while before this started, so most of the blame lays at his feet.
Some of the blame also lays at your friends feet, as she knew he was married and had kids, could have stopped it any number of times since it started to get physical etc, or even better could have told you something before that.
I'm not going to touch on the religious or moral aspects of this because I'm sure others will do so. I want to emphasize the fact that your mother relying on you as her soul confidant from such a young age is absolutely 100% inappropriate. Your mother forced you into a position that no child should ever have to be in. The result is this overwhelming guilt as you try to establish normal boundaries. You may not have had a choice when you were young and being her support system but you have a choice now. Please make the choice to reset this dysfunctional relationship with your mother and choose to be healthy instead.
Step one: Call your mama and tell her what's been going on.
Step two: Get the fuck outta dodge.
Step three: Abortion.
He's love bombing you, but he's already shown you who he is. He's shown you HOW he is. If you stay with him and you keep this baby, he's going to revert back to his own self and abuse you more and more than likely the child as well.
Leave. Him.
He said she don't wanna talk to him. So she states she doesn't wanna talk about it with him
Could it be a case of old habits die very hot? Maybe he doesn't realize how it looks or makes me feel?
Please do update us. Sending you the strength to make positive changes in your life for yourself, and when you waver, please re-read this post.
TBF, go back and read the original thread.
So many commenters assumed OP was a dick trying to one-up his 10 year old child and blatantly ignoring a textbook example of Gaslighting. They honed in on “lol chess is a game and you're taking it way too seriously” that they bashed OP repeatedly instead of accepting the very likely scenario that something was very wrong with his wife.
That’s not love, it’s lust. Just saying.
Sit down with him. Have an honest conversation about timeframes in your relationship and where you want to be in 1, 5 or 10 years from now. Set goals together. Sometimes you have to be blunt and overly clear with your wants, goals and intentions.
7 years is usually a breaking point in many relationships wheter married or not so by now both of you should at least be clear how you feel about each other.
You need to man up and break it off with this girl so she can find someone who's right for her. Don't hold off just because you feel bad about it. You have to accept that being friends with her is strictly on her terms. You unfortunately will have to deal with however this plays out.
If you don't have romantic feelings for her then do her the kindness of letting her go.
You're making a huge mistake thinking he likes you. Women always think they know what a man is thinking- you don't. You absolutely don't, DO NOT PUT WORDS IN HIS MOUTH. DO NOT SPEAK FOR HIM. In your mind, when you think about him, you are analyzing what he does, what he says, and you're trying to piece it all together. Stop. Just stop. You have no idea what he is thinking. Quit the “deep down he likes me” bullshit. That kind of thinking is exactly how women break their own hearts, then blame the man for “leading them on”. Don't think that way!
Instead, ask him direct questions about his intentions and tell him to think for a few days before responding. You absolutely will break your own heart if you tell yourself bullshit like “deep down I know how he feels”. No you don't. Only he knows, and the ONLY way you'll know is if you ask him and he tells you. Men make lots of mistakes in relationships, but the biggest mistake women make is assuming a man wants to commit to her before he has verbally confirmed commitment. Ask him before you break your own heart
Yet you said neither of you are stable enough to afford a baby so is it really fair the child?
Please run. And if you don't run, please don't go to the subs to complain about those mommas boys. You are in a unique position to NOPE TF out before it's too late. Many women did not have this privilege. Don't waste it!
Holy hell. You laid down for 1 hour feeling unwell. He then looked up things online that could help and made you a tea. And you think he doesn't care?
He's not a mind reader. Be an adult and actually try to communicate your feelings instead of just magically thinking they're going to happen. He obviously tried, a helluva lot more than other men would have in that same situation.
Grow up.
Sorry to say that, but …
…when that happened to me in the past the guy just hadn't been into me.
One can't do anything about this. Other than not talking to that guy and see if one day he initiates talk.
But that's unlikely.
He is sexually assaulting you OP.
If you have the money then why not just put it in savings and wait until you find out if the cancellation will go through? I don’t get why that has to play a part in starting a family IF you already have the funds.
Also, keep in mind that you may not conceive on the first try. It can take months or even years to actually get pregnant. If you’re both ready I would advise to start trying now.
She can't give you her all because she's still giving of herself to the ex…you deserve better. No ultimatum is needed. Because she can't decide so you need to decide for her and cut her loose.
Do you trauma dump on him extensively? Are you conversations 80% you talking/complaining and him being talked at? If not, he views your situation as more sex and less friends than you do.
How is this a relationship issue? Why would you put both cars in your name?
Sec is really important to some people and for those people being rejected and shat all over for wanting it is damaging to their mental health. If I started dating someone and everything was normal then they were like “oh by the way I’m ace and will never have sex with you” I’d block their number right then. There’s no point.
Kinda yeah tbh, I mean I'd rather not be murdered but if I'm gonna be dead, at least I'd be useful. I'd prefer to donate my body to science tho so pls stay away cannibal serial killers, unless you're starving I guess
Watch mama Dr Jones about cleaning your vulva. Never put any soap inside your vagina wash the outside (vulva) with mild soap and see your Dr to get tested to be sure then dump thus MF already.
(If i just added another layer to sucking at reddit please let me know and I can remove the repost)
I'm not saying that he's a bad person. I'm saying that given her abuse history I am worried this is something that wouldn't have been rare in the future. Do you have any idea how well people can hide their bad tendencies? There's a reason femicide rates drastically increase when pregnant – because once a shitty person feels they have a woman trapped, they don't need to pretend anymore. The big question is- did he even apologize for yelling?
I'm not saying that's him, I'm just making the point that yelling is not healthy fighting. I have literally never been yelled at by my partner of 5 years. Because we respect eachother and if we get mad we calm ourselves down. Yelling at someone you love is not a healthy way to express anger or frustration.
I’d just let it go man.
Wouldn’t u be shocked if someone whipped out a 10 inch flopper?
Thank you so much. I was having a really bad day and your comment is so reassuring. I hope I'll be okay. Good luck!
I think people here are nuts and are projecting their own insecurities.
There is no way in hell you should distance yourself from the office mentor, to the detriment of your career, because his wife is insane.
Let him handle his marriage. If things ever get inappropriate between you two and you feel uncomfortable, then distance yourself. But under no circumstances should you change your reputation at work because this guys wife is insecure. That’s not on you.
Nah you don't. Your partner is the one who is manipulating you to make you feel that way.
Guilt tripping, gaslighting, and not taking accountability are tactics to make you feel like you're the problem when it's really her.