It's called working under the table and plenty of people do it. She needs to be able to provide for herself at the very least should OP actually stop supporting her.
Does your girlfriend like Taylor Swift? She came out with a song that talks about keeping love alive by keeping it private and now a lot of people are taking their relationship off of social media. It's a trend on Tik Tok currently. Could be harmless like that but she should just tell you
Lots of advice talking about you being fat. It’s not about that here (losing weight would help your self-esteem and is ofc good for you), he has made you feel awful.
Tell him how you feel, but from an outsider perspective you sound incompatible anyway as you clearly have a higher libido. He sounds pretty horrid imo
No one deserves to feel this way. Hope you’re ok x
…. why not just tell your cousin you guys can meet up for a day or two but just want to spend time together with each other for the rest of the trip? That doesn't seem like an unreasonable ask.
You learned a lot from your first boyfriend. So it is not waste that the two of you are no longer compatible. Spend time with just yourself – get to know who you are as a single woman. Go on dates without the sex. Or just make friends and hang out. You are still a teenager. You have lots of time to learn and grow. It is time for you and your boyfriend to part ways. It is time for you to focus on yourself, your education, your aspirations for your future. It is okay to cry and miss your boyfriend. Feel your emotions , remember lessons learned. You will be okay and in less than a year thank the Gods you are a free woman.
Girl. I can't cum from just dick alone. My partner and I use toys and I touch myself during sex. It's amazing and we both enjoy it. Seriously you are young, go find someone better. This guy is delusional.
As he already said 'it' doesn't feel the same anymore he probably already made up his mind to replace her with someone younger. He made a tight decision on that
Be honest. Tell him that you love him and miss him, but that you hate the fact that he gf can’t do anything without putting it on social media and you’ve chosen to distance yourself from that. You don’t have to tell him that you don’t particularly care for her as a person because he’ll just get defensive. But NOT telling him may cause damage to your relationship that you may not be able to fix one day. And if he knows that it’s such a problem that it’s creating problems in your relationship with each other, maybe he can talk to her about cooking the SM while she’s with you and your family. Just ignoring the issue isn’t going to help things at all.
He is controlling and too old for you. I would leave him because sooner or later, he is going to find someone younger than you and groom her. Normal men do not act like this.
If I am correct then you got together when you were 29 and he was 23?
I think the mistake here was to imagine a 23 year old wanted the same kind of relationship as a 29 year old and was able to be as emotionally and romantically mature as a 29 year old.
However, that is in the past and now you have kids so I guess we just deal with the problem at hand.
I think everyone deserves to receive the same effort and love from a relationship as they put in, and if your partner is not doing that then it is time to make some changes. As you have children and you seem to still love him then I would recommend some couples therapy to try and salvage what you have. If your partner refuses to put the effort into saving the relationship then I think you have your answer there because you can make all the effort but if the other person doesn't then you are essentially in a relationship on your own – it takes two to make it work.
When you say about doing what is best for your boys, I would consider that someone can be a brilliant father but not a great partner and that you shouldn't judge his parenting and what is best for the boys on whether he is the right man for you or not. However, you are right on the one hand that staying in an unhappy relationship will have a negative effect on your children so you need to do what will make you happy too.
We do all of those things and more already! Like I said, it's not like the sex is terrible; it's kind of the opposite. Despite this though, I don't know what to do about this burning craving for a big dick inside me…
We do all of those things and more already! Like I said, it's not like the sex is terrible; it's kind of the opposite. Despite this though, I don't know what to do about this burning craving for a big dick inside me…
Given your other post that your gf from when you were 16 messed you up so badly that you struggled with anxiety and depression for two years – don’t go after this older lady. You don’t sound capable of safely having a casual relationship or having a relationship with someone much older. Prioritize your mental health over your dick.
Doesn't matter, you actively cheated on him after asking him to be exclusive JUST because he didn't call you his gf. Exclusive and gf aren't the same, but exclusive while having sex with others aren't even close to making sense.
He also chose to get back with you despite thinking he is allergic to you, and then continuing to blame you for his allergies. You also chose to take him back despite all the stuff he blamed on you. You both made bad decisions, he seems to be the one trying to let go.
Do you even know what moving on means ? Cus it doesn't seem like it.
Commenters get frustrated when they see situations like this, where someone first posts about a partner who's clearly terrible and there are many big red flags. So everyone does their best to comment and give the op advice and support, advising them that they should leave that partner and that they deserve better. But then, the OP either defends their shitty partner, or doesn't really take in the advice. They then end up posting more situations, still with the same shitty SO, but commenters are then frustrated and fed up with the op because they were already given the only advice appropriate (to leave), yet the op is still posting about more, often worse, situations, having not listened to the previous or new advice
There are many people who come to reddit to ask for advice who are in bad/abusive situations. So it's frustrating for comments to feel like they wasted their time trying to help someone who either rejects the advice or ignores it to defend their shitty SO, especially when there's so many more people out there who need that kind of help and advice who are open to listening and actually improving their situation
I'm not necessarily saying any of that applies to your case, but more explaining it so that you understand why people may be frustrated when they gave you advice to leave this shitty guy previously, but you're back here having seemingly not listened to that precious advice
“My dude I had at least one orgasm every time (idk i'm guessing) do you realize how many men can't do that. You are ruining my post bliss and honestly turning me off with your self bashing. I like your dick I choose to interact with it, enough, all you're doing is hurting yourself.”
The goal is getting off not a dick measuring contest.
Erm, no girls don't “move on the next day or so”, they are just as feeling as men are. Using people to move on from other people is also foolish (hearts don't work like that), this Reddit is full of people trying to seek advice after suffering problems because they rushed into relationships before getting over old ones. Plus it is also quite devaluing to other people to be used like this (how would you like it if someone was only talking to you so that they could stop thinking about someone else?).
You were in a relationship. You need time to heal and work on yourself before venturing out into the dating scene again. Don't use women to validate, medicate or distract yourself, you need to learn how to value and make peace with yourself on your own terms.
Break up. Love blinded me and I married a very unhygienic guy. Not only does he always smell, but I e found at times I’ve matched his laziness and my hygiene got worse too. I also feel like his mom having to remind him to brush his teeth and shower and wash his face. He says he washes his face every day, but I online with him and we have one bathroom. He fucking doesn’t and then complains about his skin saying nothing helps, then I say wash it every day and he says he does but it doesn’t help but he literally never washes his fucking face. His teeth always have plaque and food in them and he won’t make a dentist appointment so I have to and then I get to feel even more like his mom. I literally avoid sec because he always smells.
The moral, just leave him. He won’t change unless he wants to and I doubt he does. Just leave him.
I appreciate your words! As a child, my father always pressured us kids to give our all. I have this obsessive need to be successful, and I have so many dreams that I want to accomplish. So seeing my husband be so successful in his passion can sometimes make me feel inadequate, like I’m not doing enough— not necessarily that I want what he has or his talent, but that I just don’t measure up, and I need to be doing more. I know this is stupid. And I’m still really young and have time to grow if I really try.
I went through this exact same thing. And did all of the work alone to fix it, and then went through it again, and again did all of the work to fix it. Now it is 14 years later, and she has a boyfriend and this whole future lined out with him, and I'm supposed to just let her online here while she establishes herself until he moves here and can be the next victim of her bullshit. It took so damn long, but I figured our that my wife is absolutely narcissistic, not in the buzz word sense, UT straight personality disorder, and what you describe was the first clue, though I didn't know at the time. Craving external validation, opening up to any man that would give any attention besides you. You can't win, you can never do enough lr be enough. You can worship the rug she walks on and support everything that destroys you as an individual just trying to hang onto anything you thought it once was. Truth is, they don't care, they can't care, its not in them to understand why what they want is fucked up or why you are even upset. You should be happy for them in their opinion, they are in a fantasy that they are the only victim and they deserve this open relationship without any accountability to the lives they destroy. Run dude, run so fucking fast and do everything you can to get her out of your mind, and pray that she is sidetracked with fresh supply and doesn't want anything extra from you. Take advantage of her living in a fantasy and file an amicable divorce while you are still okay in her eyes. Do not hang around. You will literally die in every sense, and death cannot come soon enough for how she will make you feel.
This is great thank you! I think that is a great way for me to start thinking of what to say and how to say it
Maybe 2-3 more?
does he actually not like you or is this you being insecure?
It's called working under the table and plenty of people do it. She needs to be able to provide for herself at the very least should OP actually stop supporting her.
Does your girlfriend like Taylor Swift? She came out with a song that talks about keeping love alive by keeping it private and now a lot of people are taking their relationship off of social media. It's a trend on Tik Tok currently. Could be harmless like that but she should just tell you
Lots of advice talking about you being fat. It’s not about that here (losing weight would help your self-esteem and is ofc good for you), he has made you feel awful.
Tell him how you feel, but from an outsider perspective you sound incompatible anyway as you clearly have a higher libido. He sounds pretty horrid imo
No one deserves to feel this way. Hope you’re ok x
Ask him, it's his dick.
…. why not just tell your cousin you guys can meet up for a day or two but just want to spend time together with each other for the rest of the trip? That doesn't seem like an unreasonable ask.
He clearly has no idea how birth control works lol I don’t even know if he should be dating a woman, period
Why did you even marry him? He’s being lazy 100% no more sex for him unless he learns to actually give a damn
You learned a lot from your first boyfriend. So it is not waste that the two of you are no longer compatible. Spend time with just yourself – get to know who you are as a single woman. Go on dates without the sex. Or just make friends and hang out. You are still a teenager. You have lots of time to learn and grow. It is time for you and your boyfriend to part ways. It is time for you to focus on yourself, your education, your aspirations for your future. It is okay to cry and miss your boyfriend. Feel your emotions , remember lessons learned. You will be okay and in less than a year thank the Gods you are a free woman.
Girl. I can't cum from just dick alone. My partner and I use toys and I touch myself during sex. It's amazing and we both enjoy it. Seriously you are young, go find someone better. This guy is delusional.
Ooga Booga!! ??
Does your husband admit to lying and remember the text. He was content to lying to you?
As he already said 'it' doesn't feel the same anymore he probably already made up his mind to replace her with someone younger. He made a tight decision on that
Thank you. It’s very frustrating. I lover her but have always felt like he is a big unwanted part of our relationship.
I have been telling her for months about this. How could I approach her in away where she doesn’t feel attacked?
If you like her and want to proceed dating, time to research for your own health.
Please consult a doctor and valid sources. Good luck.
Be honest. Tell him that you love him and miss him, but that you hate the fact that he gf can’t do anything without putting it on social media and you’ve chosen to distance yourself from that. You don’t have to tell him that you don’t particularly care for her as a person because he’ll just get defensive. But NOT telling him may cause damage to your relationship that you may not be able to fix one day. And if he knows that it’s such a problem that it’s creating problems in your relationship with each other, maybe he can talk to her about cooking the SM while she’s with you and your family. Just ignoring the issue isn’t going to help things at all.
You refer to your girlfriend as “young lady?”
He is controlling and too old for you. I would leave him because sooner or later, he is going to find someone younger than you and groom her. Normal men do not act like this.
If I am correct then you got together when you were 29 and he was 23?
I think the mistake here was to imagine a 23 year old wanted the same kind of relationship as a 29 year old and was able to be as emotionally and romantically mature as a 29 year old.
However, that is in the past and now you have kids so I guess we just deal with the problem at hand.
I think everyone deserves to receive the same effort and love from a relationship as they put in, and if your partner is not doing that then it is time to make some changes. As you have children and you seem to still love him then I would recommend some couples therapy to try and salvage what you have. If your partner refuses to put the effort into saving the relationship then I think you have your answer there because you can make all the effort but if the other person doesn't then you are essentially in a relationship on your own – it takes two to make it work.
When you say about doing what is best for your boys, I would consider that someone can be a brilliant father but not a great partner and that you shouldn't judge his parenting and what is best for the boys on whether he is the right man for you or not. However, you are right on the one hand that staying in an unhappy relationship will have a negative effect on your children so you need to do what will make you happy too.
She begged him not to fuck other women. He did it anyways despite her begging and being hurt. He does not care for her nor does he respect her.
We do all of those things and more already! Like I said, it's not like the sex is terrible; it's kind of the opposite. Despite this though, I don't know what to do about this burning craving for a big dick inside me…
We do all of those things and more already! Like I said, it's not like the sex is terrible; it's kind of the opposite. Despite this though, I don't know what to do about this burning craving for a big dick inside me…
100% true man.
Idk how she can consider this cheating when she invited the other girl here to my place.
Given your other post that your gf from when you were 16 messed you up so badly that you struggled with anxiety and depression for two years – don’t go after this older lady. You don’t sound capable of safely having a casual relationship or having a relationship with someone much older. Prioritize your mental health over your dick.
Doesn't matter, you actively cheated on him after asking him to be exclusive JUST because he didn't call you his gf. Exclusive and gf aren't the same, but exclusive while having sex with others aren't even close to making sense.
He also chose to get back with you despite thinking he is allergic to you, and then continuing to blame you for his allergies. You also chose to take him back despite all the stuff he blamed on you. You both made bad decisions, he seems to be the one trying to let go.
Do you even know what moving on means ? Cus it doesn't seem like it.
Commenters get frustrated when they see situations like this, where someone first posts about a partner who's clearly terrible and there are many big red flags. So everyone does their best to comment and give the op advice and support, advising them that they should leave that partner and that they deserve better. But then, the OP either defends their shitty partner, or doesn't really take in the advice. They then end up posting more situations, still with the same shitty SO, but commenters are then frustrated and fed up with the op because they were already given the only advice appropriate (to leave), yet the op is still posting about more, often worse, situations, having not listened to the previous or new advice
There are many people who come to reddit to ask for advice who are in bad/abusive situations. So it's frustrating for comments to feel like they wasted their time trying to help someone who either rejects the advice or ignores it to defend their shitty SO, especially when there's so many more people out there who need that kind of help and advice who are open to listening and actually improving their situation
I'm not necessarily saying any of that applies to your case, but more explaining it so that you understand why people may be frustrated when they gave you advice to leave this shitty guy previously, but you're back here having seemingly not listened to that precious advice
“My dude I had at least one orgasm every time (idk i'm guessing) do you realize how many men can't do that. You are ruining my post bliss and honestly turning me off with your self bashing. I like your dick I choose to interact with it, enough, all you're doing is hurting yourself.”
The goal is getting off not a dick measuring contest.
Erm, no girls don't “move on the next day or so”, they are just as feeling as men are. Using people to move on from other people is also foolish (hearts don't work like that), this Reddit is full of people trying to seek advice after suffering problems because they rushed into relationships before getting over old ones. Plus it is also quite devaluing to other people to be used like this (how would you like it if someone was only talking to you so that they could stop thinking about someone else?).
You were in a relationship. You need time to heal and work on yourself before venturing out into the dating scene again. Don't use women to validate, medicate or distract yourself, you need to learn how to value and make peace with yourself on your own terms.
Bingo
Break up. Love blinded me and I married a very unhygienic guy. Not only does he always smell, but I e found at times I’ve matched his laziness and my hygiene got worse too. I also feel like his mom having to remind him to brush his teeth and shower and wash his face. He says he washes his face every day, but I online with him and we have one bathroom. He fucking doesn’t and then complains about his skin saying nothing helps, then I say wash it every day and he says he does but it doesn’t help but he literally never washes his fucking face. His teeth always have plaque and food in them and he won’t make a dentist appointment so I have to and then I get to feel even more like his mom. I literally avoid sec because he always smells.
The moral, just leave him. He won’t change unless he wants to and I doubt he does. Just leave him.
Thank you.
I appreciate your words! As a child, my father always pressured us kids to give our all. I have this obsessive need to be successful, and I have so many dreams that I want to accomplish. So seeing my husband be so successful in his passion can sometimes make me feel inadequate, like I’m not doing enough— not necessarily that I want what he has or his talent, but that I just don’t measure up, and I need to be doing more. I know this is stupid. And I’m still really young and have time to grow if I really try.
I went through this exact same thing. And did all of the work alone to fix it, and then went through it again, and again did all of the work to fix it. Now it is 14 years later, and she has a boyfriend and this whole future lined out with him, and I'm supposed to just let her online here while she establishes herself until he moves here and can be the next victim of her bullshit. It took so damn long, but I figured our that my wife is absolutely narcissistic, not in the buzz word sense, UT straight personality disorder, and what you describe was the first clue, though I didn't know at the time. Craving external validation, opening up to any man that would give any attention besides you. You can't win, you can never do enough lr be enough. You can worship the rug she walks on and support everything that destroys you as an individual just trying to hang onto anything you thought it once was. Truth is, they don't care, they can't care, its not in them to understand why what they want is fucked up or why you are even upset. You should be happy for them in their opinion, they are in a fantasy that they are the only victim and they deserve this open relationship without any accountability to the lives they destroy. Run dude, run so fucking fast and do everything you can to get her out of your mind, and pray that she is sidetracked with fresh supply and doesn't want anything extra from you. Take advantage of her living in a fantasy and file an amicable divorce while you are still okay in her eyes. Do not hang around. You will literally die in every sense, and death cannot come soon enough for how she will make you feel.
Maybe I just like the attention ?