It sounds like you’re really self-conscious about your looks. Idk your history, but maybe look into body dysmorphia? If he likes you, he likes you. And you showed him yourself in your photos, so you aren’t lying and he will see that.
He obviously has some baggage too, but that’s on him to work out himself. And if he really can’t tolerate that you look a little different without makeup on, then you need to find yourself a man who understands what makeup is.
Noo don’t think that. He IS your bf so he knows you a little better and is so used to your body language and facial expressions etc so sometimes he might be reaching a little and wanting to know things are still good with you a little too much. It’s nice but yeah he needs to never say are you being weird again. He can just give a warm smile and give you a ? or ? FROM NOW ON. So no tone is even given and then you can reply with one. I think that is a good idea I just thought of it lol. Because listen it’s so simple but seems effective and it can work. And it doesn’t have to get dragged out. But yea my point, I wouldn’t worry about wat everyone else thinks because trust me I am a very anxious person maybe more than you I feel like and I always think in public people can just tell!! And I feel worse lol. But then again sometimes when I tell ppl I associate with that I have social anxiety they tell me i don’t even seem like it ?
You should see the answers you’re getting and realize how truly awful you’ve been, but you don’t. You didn’t come here for advice. You came here for validation. I’m glad you’re not getting it because Jesus Christ.. you’re the worst
I mean, FIRST step is to talk to him, and ask what he's doing, and if he's cheating.
Tell him your concerns, and how all of this is making you feel.
If you want the relationship to work, and he does too, a therapist might be helpful.
and if it doesn't, as much as the chaos of upending your life would suck, it's better than being in a relationship where you are not respected and loved (and where your kinks don't overlap, though the furry thing is almost irrelevant in this, since the same thing could happen just over a random fandom or something).
Coming here won't get you answers, until you talk to him and know what he wants.
Your best friend is trying to break out of the friend zone, and in the process he’s actually disrespecting you and your relationship.
Beware this man, because he may get petty or obsessive if things don’t go the way he wants. You need to shut him down clearly. And keep it simple.
“No. I will not share a room on Friday with anyone. It’s not just you, and has nothing to do with trusting you. I am in a relationship , and out of respect for myself, my relationship, and my boyfriend, I will be staying in my own room on Friday. End of discussion.”
They wouldn’t know— but the party seeking the divorce would be required to say they had fulfilled the separate and apart requirement, and the other party who might be seeking to delay the divorce would be able to say that the requirement wasn’t fulfilled since they had sex more recently or during that period, which would reset the clock. (I’m not an expert in marriage law so if somebody else has more specific info jump in)
“another part of me understands that we all have preferences for our partners appearance.”
This. Your appearance and your personality are a package deal and if you change one suddenly you have to accept that your partner can just 'nope' out of your life.
There was a post yesterday or the day before from a young woman who came home with a septum piercing to the utter horror of her husband who hated it.
We all have a right to how we wish to present ourselves: our dress, our accessorisations and body modifications, however we need to accept that when we're in a relationship we have to cede some sovereignty to our partners and at least agree to run dramatic changes past our SOs. What would you have done if you'd called her up and said 'I'm getting my hair shaved off' and she'd said 'No, don't. I'll hate it'?
You have a right to short hair but she has a right to dump you for it.
I‘m glad to hear that. I don’t talk often about it but your situation reminded me so much of mine then. I am sure you will make the decision that’s best for you!
If his last relationship was also LDR, does that mean he just keeps moving across the country, waits until his last relationship dies out and then starts a new one only to repeat the process? Because that is what it sounds like to me.
From a spiritual perspective the fact that you cannot get pregnant with this man tells that he is not someone suited for you, and the stories you tell is the long answer of why.
As for what you should do, whether or not you start seeing the friend more seriously is all about where you are right now and what you’re capable of giving.
I’ve been on the receiving end of a rebound and it’s not fun. And because of that, the bridge with her is burned.
It’s definitely a thing to be over someone before you even break up. But taking some time to be single after a relationship is healthy even just in the sense that you can take the time to improve your self care, pick up new hobbies, and discover yourself a bit.
I put money into a house and yard of a former BF, plus HOURS OF LABOR. He broke up with me after a vacation to meet my family (after telling them he was going to marry me).
I did not get enough out of that relationship to warrant what I put in.
I had a near identical thing happen to me in a long distance relationship. BF’s family knew me, I thought I was the main chick. We talked marriage and everything. He was living with his main chick it turned out and my care package got him found out. He knew I was sending it, but the timing was off and she blew a gasket when it came in, and left him. He said she was his ex and she got fed up with him sleeping on the couch and moved out. So the. I stupidly became the main chick until I widened up years later.
You don’t have to guess. Ask her.
i fear someone touching her inappropriately or just making her feel uncomfortable. i dont want her to go through all that
Care to elaborate on why that's the case?
So wear your normal makeup when you go meet him.
It sounds like you’re really self-conscious about your looks. Idk your history, but maybe look into body dysmorphia? If he likes you, he likes you. And you showed him yourself in your photos, so you aren’t lying and he will see that.
He obviously has some baggage too, but that’s on him to work out himself. And if he really can’t tolerate that you look a little different without makeup on, then you need to find yourself a man who understands what makeup is.
Noo don’t think that. He IS your bf so he knows you a little better and is so used to your body language and facial expressions etc so sometimes he might be reaching a little and wanting to know things are still good with you a little too much. It’s nice but yeah he needs to never say are you being weird again. He can just give a warm smile and give you a ? or ? FROM NOW ON. So no tone is even given and then you can reply with one. I think that is a good idea I just thought of it lol. Because listen it’s so simple but seems effective and it can work. And it doesn’t have to get dragged out. But yea my point, I wouldn’t worry about wat everyone else thinks because trust me I am a very anxious person maybe more than you I feel like and I always think in public people can just tell!! And I feel worse lol. But then again sometimes when I tell ppl I associate with that I have social anxiety they tell me i don’t even seem like it ?
You should see the answers you’re getting and realize how truly awful you’ve been, but you don’t. You didn’t come here for advice. You came here for validation. I’m glad you’re not getting it because Jesus Christ.. you’re the worst
why is it her job to parent and psychoanalyse my child?
Because clearly you aren't
I mean, FIRST step is to talk to him, and ask what he's doing, and if he's cheating.
Tell him your concerns, and how all of this is making you feel.
If you want the relationship to work, and he does too, a therapist might be helpful.
and if it doesn't, as much as the chaos of upending your life would suck, it's better than being in a relationship where you are not respected and loved (and where your kinks don't overlap, though the furry thing is almost irrelevant in this, since the same thing could happen just over a random fandom or something).
Coming here won't get you answers, until you talk to him and know what he wants.
He's lonely and wants to keep you as a backup.
Define gaslighting then.
RUN RUN RUN.
Do NOT trap yourself with this asshole for life.
Git!
I get the goal, but why take an opportunity from someone else if she's not going to use her education? That seems pretty selfish.
Meh. Her call. For me, if I were ever in such a Terrible situation. I’d walk away and move on.
Your best friend is trying to break out of the friend zone, and in the process he’s actually disrespecting you and your relationship.
Beware this man, because he may get petty or obsessive if things don’t go the way he wants. You need to shut him down clearly. And keep it simple.
“No. I will not share a room on Friday with anyone. It’s not just you, and has nothing to do with trusting you. I am in a relationship , and out of respect for myself, my relationship, and my boyfriend, I will be staying in my own room on Friday. End of discussion.”
Jfc.
Jfc.
They wouldn’t know— but the party seeking the divorce would be required to say they had fulfilled the separate and apart requirement, and the other party who might be seeking to delay the divorce would be able to say that the requirement wasn’t fulfilled since they had sex more recently or during that period, which would reset the clock. (I’m not an expert in marriage law so if somebody else has more specific info jump in)
OP, I act like this too and my fiancé thinks it’s cute. You need to find a man who gets it, and lose this huge bummer
It'll grow back
“another part of me understands that we all have preferences for our partners appearance.”
This. Your appearance and your personality are a package deal and if you change one suddenly you have to accept that your partner can just 'nope' out of your life.
There was a post yesterday or the day before from a young woman who came home with a septum piercing to the utter horror of her husband who hated it.
We all have a right to how we wish to present ourselves: our dress, our accessorisations and body modifications, however we need to accept that when we're in a relationship we have to cede some sovereignty to our partners and at least agree to run dramatic changes past our SOs. What would you have done if you'd called her up and said 'I'm getting my hair shaved off' and she'd said 'No, don't. I'll hate it'?
You have a right to short hair but she has a right to dump you for it.
It'll grow back.
Oh…why 6 months in at 23 are you concerned with marriage? Is be running if I were him.
Sounds to me like she cheated and is embarrassed/ashamed about it.
You don't have nametags at your restaurant?
I‘m glad to hear that. I don’t talk often about it but your situation reminded me so much of mine then. I am sure you will make the decision that’s best for you!
Lmao ? ima go shopping with her ?? tell me you wanna act like you ain’t jealous without telling me your jealous
Let them date shoot maybe Mariah will make forget about you and actually have a future together ??♀️
Sucks to be them, I guess.
NJ has it, 85% of your normal wage.
If his last relationship was also LDR, does that mean he just keeps moving across the country, waits until his last relationship dies out and then starts a new one only to repeat the process? Because that is what it sounds like to me.
From a spiritual perspective the fact that you cannot get pregnant with this man tells that he is not someone suited for you, and the stories you tell is the long answer of why.
Thanks ?
As for what you should do, whether or not you start seeing the friend more seriously is all about where you are right now and what you’re capable of giving.
I’ve been on the receiving end of a rebound and it’s not fun. And because of that, the bridge with her is burned.
It’s definitely a thing to be over someone before you even break up. But taking some time to be single after a relationship is healthy even just in the sense that you can take the time to improve your self care, pick up new hobbies, and discover yourself a bit.
You decide what’s healthy for you,
By dumping him?
I put money into a house and yard of a former BF, plus HOURS OF LABOR. He broke up with me after a vacation to meet my family (after telling them he was going to marry me).
I did not get enough out of that relationship to warrant what I put in.
Don’t do it. It’s a trap.
I don’t know about OP but I frequently fudge my age a bit on here just for privacy reasons.
I had a near identical thing happen to me in a long distance relationship. BF’s family knew me, I thought I was the main chick. We talked marriage and everything. He was living with his main chick it turned out and my care package got him found out. He knew I was sending it, but the timing was off and she blew a gasket when it came in, and left him. He said she was his ex and she got fed up with him sleeping on the couch and moved out. So the. I stupidly became the main chick until I widened up years later.
Sunk cost fallacy.
You lose more, the longer you stay with him.