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Confidence. Fear. Women are just people. Talk to them like you talk to guys. I assume you specifically mean someone you are into? It's fear that they won't reciprocate. It's ok if they don't reciprocate. Just be freinds, and respect their decision. There will litterally be hundreds more possibilities. Once you internalise this, the fact that you don't care will, ironically, actually make you more confident, and more desirable. Stop, giving, a, fuck. And have fun.
Start on online business and make some $$
Friends don’t cuddle and kiss like this… or make jokes like that… or slap opposite sex’s ass…
Maybe you need to answer her that SHE is making you feel bad and then have a conversation about how you two can improve this situation. I'm not a fan of going to the gym, but I will admit that it makes us feel better. For me is not about the weight loss is more the fact that I feel proud of myself for do something to be more healthy and to maintain this commitment with myself. You need to make some very hot questions to her to help get through this, and also hear some difficult answers.
Honestly, she sounds way more mature than her ex, despite being significantly younger. Good on her.
I don’t. I love strippers. Love them!
Look, you didn’t hold her down and force yourself on an obviously unwilling partner.
Coercion to have sex is rape and it can be physical, emotional, or verbal.
If this is coming from a girl. Try putting yourself out there, going to events centered around hobbies you enjoy, maybe bars and clubs if that’s your thing. I’ve never seen a girl that genuinely never received any attention from guys especially after putting themselves out there or actively trying to portray that sort of image. Just be wary of guys that just want sex. Optional: go to the gym and tone waist + lower body
If this is coming from a guy. Things are going to be a little more tough but focus on your career, independence, finances, hygiene, style, go out to bars and clubs to get more comfortable with women, and most importantly go to the gym and get toned. Take supplements if necessary.
So 7 years ago your boyfriend was 19 right? Yes it was a disrespectful thing to say and weirdly inappropriate in front of a child, but presumably he’s matured a lot since then and your relationship has evolved, you said he’s been a great boyfriend so I don’t know why you’d want to throw away years of love and growth over one stupid comment?
She's been his girlfriend for 8 months. He says he's had 'significant ED' for several years. Your theory seems unlikely.
Ok thats different. Unfortunately your love was misplaced. Some people dont appreciate those that do the most for them.
Once one thing leads you down this particular path of thought a lot of actually benign, innocent things might start looking like signs too. But if you feel in your gut that she's cheating hire a private investigator to gather concrete evidence before you end up getting slapped with an unfavourable divorce.
Just to play devils advocate here, it could be some sort of factitious disorder that he has. Which in that case he would likely benefit from some sort of psychotherapy to try and treat it.
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Have you checked to see if you are eligible for disability payments? Since you used to work and can’t now, you should be able to get something and have your own money. But you have to cut back on what you do for your boyfriend. Taking off his clothes while he is lying on the bed is just ridiculous. Maybe having clean towels for a shower is okay but if you stop waiting on him hand and foot 24/7 like you are a personal valet or the mother of a toddler, he might appreciate what you actually do for him
Ugh. I remember reading this. Listen, you did nothing wrong. There was no blood relation. That person is NOT YOUR FAMILY.
It’s not an assumption, it’s an inference based on the way he’s writing. My initial comment noted that he seemed to go on and on about his own interests, but gave zero on hers. To me, it is more likely that someone who has to say multiple times that he’s intelligent but not pretentious and lists a ton of his own interests and none of his gf’s is more likely to have ignored trying to get to know about her interests than that he found the one snowflake of a woman who has ZERO interests. It is more likely that he has specific interests and nerdoms that HE considers “cultured” and doesn’t consider those outside his interests as cultured. It is more likely that she is just not interested in his nerdoms than her having a “lack of curiosity” for knowledge. Do you really believe she’s some vegetable who just sits on her couch staring at the wall until it’s time for her to go to work? Come on.
I think they are either a robot or someone that never has been in love
Umm…. whats wrong with asking him directly OP? You're 28, you can do this.
The fact that she asked you for a break over a text, should let you know that she doesn't want to see you at least for the time being so don't go over to her place, especially unannounced.
She wants a break to work on herself but that does not mean that you have to wait as no one knows how much time it will take and considering that she didn't have a decency to talk to you, rather that she just shot a text asking for a break, speaks volumes. Convert that break into break up so that she can take all the time she needs to work on herself and you can move on with your life
Thank you I appreciate it
Eh it could go either way at this point. It's in her court. Don't be pushy. Don't be a jerk. Don't ruin this for yourself. When you see her, be nice, talk about normal things. Don't bring it up. Don't hang around waiting for her to bring it up. Just be cool, man
Thank you.
This sub wants to blame porn for everything. People would blame porn for the Hindenburg if they could.
Open relationships only work if you both consistently communicate and are both open and on board, if you don’t close the relationship back up until you are both ready you are most likely going to lose the relationship
Yeah his reaction is a red flag imo. A normal reaction would be to laugh it off and tell you no and then resume playing Scrabble. Not stomping around being pissy for the next hour or whatever. Even if they didn't snort coke, the reaction was way over the top
Why would he react so badly if he wasn’t doing cocaine?
I mean he could have laughed and said he has allergies.
Something is fishy and you need to be prepared.
We’re both okay with my hours and we’ve discussed our future together. The problem is what is going on right now
“We don’t have sex anymore” —yes, you do have sex. About every week and a half to two weeks.
Sounds like the normal situation where the honeymoon phase came and went, and now you’re settling into a normal pattern based on the lower libido in the couple.
Why are you with this person???
Ask your Mom to somehow explain to both of you what happened, how it happened, and why. Get it through to her that without this information, nothing will ever get better.
Goddamn. Whilst I agree entirely with your points, is it really that much extra effort to type “you”, “your” and “you're”?
I don’t find anything wrong or weird about someone watching porn while in a relationship. However, having a group chat with friends where they send videos like that to each other is extremely weird (to me). I could maybe understand it if they were 17, but at 27…
Idk..I think it's kinda weird to keep wearing stuff from your ex. Unless your still friends
Some of us really do though, for some of us only penetration feels good and gets us off and oral/fingers do nothing at all.
What state are you in? Because interest rates for a new home SUCK right now. Terrible time to buy. For example, In california, more than half of your mortgage payment would just be going to interest..
You both deserve better. You deserve a satisfying relationship and he deserves a partner who reciprocates his attraction. If you break up and don’t stay friends, it’ll hurt, but you’ll grow around it. Don’t feel the need to be trapped out of comfort.
Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger….
She's the greedy one. You wanting to save money and not blow 6ot all on her isn't being greedy
This is a very hot line in the sand, and you know which side you’re on. He could never be ready, you’re ready now. I’m not sure what he thinks will change in the future, other than you running out of time to have a safe pregnancy. You should have your child, and if he doesn’t want to be around for it then so be it.
The question of using embryos that he contributed to is a puzzle though. Didn’t he technically agree to be their father when he helped create them? I’m not sure about that one.
He may have given you a false name
Also I suck and sometimes immediately go into solving a situation and forget to be sympathetic. Your post was triggering for me as I have dealt with a narcissist as well. I wanted to solve it for you. This freaking sucks. I am sorry. Because you probably feel like you were totally blindsided by this man. But you are the victim here. He was looking for you. You were looking for a happy marriage and you got the bait and switch. And I'm sorry this is happening to you. Even when you do get out of this situation it's going to take some time to heal from it. You are going to ask yourself for a long time if you were the problem. You weren't. But it doesn't matter if others tell you that, he made you think that, and you're going to feel that way. The best way forward is to leave and start healing. You are better than this. You deserve better than this. Think of it this way you already dealt with shit like this in the past, do you want to online the rest of your life like this? Hell no.
Thanks for making me feel validated. I’ve been scared to talk about this topic, be it in therapy or with other people because of what they’d think about me (as in, superficial as*hole)
I do love him. He’s an amazing guy but lately he’s been acting like an older man and that’s not what I want rn. Am I being shallow for that?
Does it mean I don’t love him anymore? Or is it like, a normal thing that people go through? I met him when I was 18, almost 19 and I always thought he was the cutest guy I’ve ever met but then something happened and he stopped caring.
Sex used to be great but the last 2-3 times it’s been weird. It feels more like med-induced anhedonia but maybe this is also related. Idk at this point, I just wanted someone to say it’s normal and that I’m not trash.
Sorry for my English btw. I read the op and it’s super dumb lol. This is not my first language.
He's downplaying your relationship to her. If I was you I'd find someone who can accept her as part of the family and love her just as much as you not someone who treats her like she's a hindrance.