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It's the context and intention that matters… And your boundaries ofc.
I personally kiss everyone, and if my gay friend kissed my bf on the cheek to say hello or I love you bro I wouldn't mind.
If I thought he was hitting him that would be different, but I guess it's whatever you're comfortable with?
The main thing is you trust your boyfriend.
You feel deceived because he lied to you and shamed you for two years. You need to leave and find a better partner who deserves you.
It’s not your monkey, it’s not your circus.
Stop giving him the option. He broke your trust, faith and heart with what he did. Your friend is vile and I would never talk to her again but ultimately this was his doing to betray you the day before you got married. He broke your marriage. This is not your fault and it is not about your looks. You are no longer happy with him so you should put yourself first and divorce him.
Imagine for a moment that you had a male friend or family member who came to you with this exact problem with their wife/girlfriend/whatever.
What would you tell him? It probably wouldn't be 'repeatedly tell her that she's not doing enough for you, and then dump her if that doesn't work after a few months', it'd be 'be supportive and understanding of her mental health, don't take it personally' and possibly with a side of 'she doesn't owe you sex and you should learn to go without!'
Does he fear that you will take over his place and kick him out of the apartment if the relationship goes sour?
Either way, it's really odd behaviour.
Once you're at a point where you're snooping through your partners phone, the relationship is destined to fail.
There is no genuine trust between the two of you… and you cannot have a functioning relationship when you're always thinking the worst of your partner.
If I understand the timeline correctly:
She had a LDR with someone 2 years (cheated) She had a 3 year relationship (didn't cheat) Now is with you for 1 year 1/2
Making the cheating incident potentially 5-6 years ago and her being 19-20 years old?
If you're going to snoop through your partners phone to dig up something incriminating that happened 5/6 years ago and use that against her… you are equally the problem in the relationship IMO.
It’s not cheating since you’re not in a relationship. She clearly stated she isn’t sure she wants to be in a relationship and she is distant. Do what you want.
Still. Does nor change anything. It's something they need to address before moving forward.
What did you actually do that he's asking for this?
I agree. Thank you! It’s definitely something that I have to choose if I’m comfortable with to continue or not and one of my boundaries. I agree I can’t control him I just wish he would respect my boundaries and come to me before porn.
Ok then I will apologize to her
He is aware that prenups exist, right? Completely valid if he does not want to get married tho, this might be one of those irreconcilable differences or just being incompatible…
She could be an introverted and/ or shy person. Just socially awkward in general. Or perhaps she's ND to a degree that makes it harder for her to make friends?