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Not yet… but what is her motivation? Help her friend? Get rid of me gently? Or she likes me enough so she helps me to find my match?
I don't know you personally, man. But if you feel like that is the case too, perhaps train yourself to get to the point a little quicker.
I was literally just fucking my husband for a year before we started officially dating. That was eons ago.
Please don’t drag this into the present. His reaction also tells you how seriously he took that comment. Also.. if it was 7 years ago, he was 19. Let it go.
Why are you with this jerkoff? And no, bodycount does not matter in the least. He has literally shown you he does not consider women equals. They are just things for him to fuck.
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Also had an ex-husband with whom share no kids but had to go to his house
He’s acting like an idiot and an asshole
Dude am I going crazy? Is physical assault now just an acceptable thing that you don’t have to own up too?
What in peoples minds tells them, physical assault and gaslighting them other person into telling them they deserved it is just the norm?
Don't move in together, then.
I would STRONGLY suggest you stay with your parents, family or trusted friends. I know from experience that was they start hitting you, they din't stop.
I'm so sorry this happened. I know how you feel and your response of freezing is so normal. It will take a while to trust and feel comfortable with men again. Although you might feel ashamed, talking about it helps. Even or especially the gross details.
His mom is wrong. What he did has nothing to do with your behavior. It's 100% on him. It's normal to be nice to people, or even flirting would still NOT be an invitation to act like this. Did you ask him to do this? NO. Do you think he would have done this if he knew you were awake? NO. Would he have done it if others could see it? NO. That's because he knew it was wrong.
Let's say you gave him an opening by flirting, his appropriate course of action would have been to flirt back, ask you on a date, kiss each other first, get on a few dates, if you're receptive and into it, get together while you're, you know, awake and participating.
Non-consentual sexual acts are inappropriate (and illegal) responses to 'being nice' and flirting. And he knows it.
Don't communicate with his mom again. She won't budge and it's not good for your mental health. Tell a parent or someone else you trust the WHOLE story.
He might tell your friends a different story to change the narrative. The only control you have over that is to tell the whole truth as you experienced it. Some might take your side, other's not. The last thing you want is to have him there when you meet up with your friends, so avoid that.
How should you excuse yourself for something you have no idea is going to happen? It's not like a fart that you can feel coming and hold it
I would be very upset if my partner contacted my supervisor to request time off for me. It’s so unprofessional and puts pressure on the supervisor to say yes. If she’s already in a rocky place at work, this certainly did not help.
I could be way off base here, but I'm wondering if she had some plans for that day that you didn't know about, and she was upset that she couldn't follow through with the plans. If that's the case, I can see her being a ball of emotions in terms of knowing that you were doing something nice and wanting to appreciate it, but feeling upset that she couldn't do what she intended to, and not being able to tell you what was up with her since she couldn't or didn't want to tell you what she was really going to do that afternoon or evening. Again, I could be way off. It was her words to the effect of “why today?” that kinda made me think something was up.
I had a big trip planned with my lifelong friends for us all to celebrate turning 40. Guess when we all turned 40? 2020. So yeah, trip cancelled. No big celebrations.
Have your party, celebrate turning 40 however you want! If he wants to act like that, he can stay home. Can you ask a friend to help you plan it?
Fair point. On the other hand a lot of people take anything they can as a sign to keep trying because instead of “no” they hear, “I would except…”
I’m seeing someone -> well they aren’t here are they?
I’m in love -> you’ll still be in love tomorrow, they don’t have to know
I’m engaged -> you’re not married yet!
These are all conversations I’ve overheard myself
Ok thank you so much
You need to date someone who doesn't have the palate of a 5 year old.
Dude, since you are a bit dense, let’s cut to the chase… your GF spent the night with another dude. And yeah, they FK’d. She had a good time and wants to go back again this weekend. The third friend dropped off is probably BS, so it was planned. She likes having you around, but wants to fk around a bit, knowing you ain’t gonna do shyt about it. And because you are the kind of guy that isn’t gonna do shyt about it is why she wants to go around in the first place.
So Jim, yeah, Jim is FK’n your girl.
Maybe she just wasn't feeling it but then felt like she needed to justify it with a “reason” for why you're not doing enough? It happens.
It’s up to you whether this is important to you. Since it’s long distance it’s probably not a big sign as it’s harder to get you a gift. If you guys saw each other in person and there was no gift I would say be prepared to not receive gifts at nearly all gift giving holidays in the future. Up to you if gift exchange is important to you
They don't sound emotional at all. They're explaining why what you said was inaccurate. Their comment is pretty dispassionate, they're just correcting misinformation.
They’re both already not respecting it
She wants to legally separate but not breakup because she still wants him to take care of her lol
What the hell does it matter how it's framed. They went on a ski trip together, and you just stood idly by and watched it happen. It's time to grow a pair and kick her to the curb. Sell the house and move on to a better, more fulfilling relationship with someone who can respect you, and you can respect them.
She’s not ok with it. That’s why she wants you to commit.
You’re fooling yourself if you think you can just keep things the same.
I'll leave that one with you, as therapists say!
I’m sorry man. Life’s a bitch ain’t she. Don’t tell her again, she told you clearly where she stood the first time. Create distance, slowly more and more distance. You can still be friends but the contact should be drastically reduced. You can not get over someone you speaking to everyday. That’s like an alcoholic trying to get sober while getting wasted daily. This is not healthy for either of you and it will not end anywhere good if it goes on.
Try to make new friends, pick up new hobbies, try meeting new people, going on dates, keep yourself busy, you’ll think of her less and less as they days go and one day you’ll realize you haven’t thought about your for a week. Good luck friend.
No lol, equal rights, and lefts
Step one: ask “what needs to be true for you to be ready to have kids”
Listen to his answer. If he has concrete steps, work to establish a timeline to hit those milestones, and lay that against the biological reality so he can really understand the whole picture. From there, you can negotiate and discuss in earnest.
If he has vague maybe sorta answers, that means that he's not ever going to be ready. Act accordingly.
I also think that sometimes people see children as kind of an accessory to the marriage. Minivan? Check. White picket fence? Check. A kid? Check. They don't see the child as a whole separate person that they have a distinct relationship with, and once the marriage is done, they're just over the kid. Like, the kid just existed as part of the relationship and now they're just in the way. For some, that seems to be a temporary phase that they get over and recommit themselves to parenting, so hopefully OP is able to do that, because that's really shitty for the poor child.
I mean yeah, she makes things exciting. We are very similar in our terrible upbringing in regards to our toxic parents. We both show our goofy side and it's relaxing when you aren't putting up that “perfect” persona when in public etc. I do agree with other posts saying that she's immature, planned on playing the waiting game for when she “grows up”