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Right? I’m pretty sure he’s making up his coworker’s interest in him up in his head. I hope this girlfriend figures it out. She deserves way better.
Well whether you should stay or not that'd be solely your decision. If you think you don't want to be with him then leave. Otherwise if you choose to stay you need to voice and enforce your boundaries in this relationship. You are not his punching bag. He shouldn't take his frustrations out on you. This would then turn out a toxic relationship. He should talk to a therapist about his problems and deal it like a grown up. But taking out their frustration on spouse is a cowardice approach.
Personally I couldn’t think of anything worse than being stuck at home alone, day in day out, with four kids under ten years of age. Not surprised she had an escape when given the chance. Yes, cheating is bad when you’re married but I’d be asking myself if she was happy in the marriage. Where you doing everything you could to be a good husband or is she just a sex maid who raises your children? There are always three sides to a story. I’m not saying she didn’t do something wrong, perhaps she is unhappy with your relationship but jumping straight to divorce without some counseling isn’t the best solution for anyone.
And yep, I’m going to get a lot of hate from the Christian conservatives here.
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Americans are weird. Hope those past partners never try to fuck someone from literally any other country.
You just love them and be you… And be present.
Go to therapy? People can have fulfilling non sexual interactions with people outside of their partner?!? No but for real I’ve been in your shoes and had to take a look at myself and where my feelings were stemming from. They’re their own individual people able to have a platonic convo.
?♀️
It’s okay and reasonable to have a crush. Having a shared experience and feeling understood is powerful.
You are also old enough to know that people are insanely optimistic in the throes of a crush and tend to convince themselves that everything can work out, even when it’s not rational.
You are a completely different stages in life, and you have almost twice as much life experience as her. This can create bad power dynamics as well as just deep in compatibility, when it comes to developing a more serious relationship.
And a support group is a place where people are choosing to be exceptionally vulnerable. This can also make them more vulnerable to relationships that are not in their best interests. And one or both of you could lose this source of support if you get involved.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you having a crush, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you being friends, but I think that feeling of being a creepy older man, I think you should hang onto that hesitation, and let it mediate your fluttery feelings for her.
I say this as someone who is close to your age, and who was once upon a time the young person her age in an age gap relationship. It felt fine at the time but in retrospect it was totally inappropriate, and looking back from this perspective, people in their early 20s feel impossibly young.
There are a million non 9-5 options that aren’t illegal, he doesn’t have to contribute to a retirement fund if he elects not to, and, unless he’s growing or cooking up his own stuff, he’s absolutely still working for someone. Basically, he’s either dumb or making any excuse he can to torpedo his progress toward a productive future.
Having a flirty personality doesn’t excuse his behavior
Thos sounds like a job for Judge Judy
he’s a level 100 people pleaser
You already know, on some level, that your entire relationship with him is just going to be this lack of boundaries, over and over and over again.
So when it's finally too much and you snap, know that you saw this, and you chose it. This is not going to improve unless he gets help some day. Not gonna improve ONE bit.
Comment should be further down. You don't know any of the people involved. It's absurd to say something like this with confidence:
If you can’t pay it back in less than 5 years they’ll hold every vacation/large purchase you make against you. You won’t be able to save dime until you pay them back
There's plenty of people who aren't like this with lending money. For all we know, brother is a multimillionaire and the loan would be inconsequential to him.
She been hitting me up for the past 2 months after I moved on. This is what I was expecting, just had my ego shot down for a minute?. Very sensitive I guess
I'm gonna get real with you. Why did you marry this man? You have a fundamental difference. He wants children and you most certainly do not. You don't have to be a mother to have worth as a woman. But, your husband wants children, he feels like it's his purpose in life. This is unfair to you, him and any child you talk yourself into having. There is no easy way to put this so I apologize for being harsh. This marriage is not at a healthy place. You both resent each other and can't have calm conversations about how your lives are going to be. Why continue? I don't think it's a lack of love in your marriage but there IS a lack of respect. You've got 20 years to reproduce safely, why not live those years to their fullest?