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Thats probably about normal for most working couples. Once kids hit the scene even the weekends will be encroched upon.
btw your friends are winding you up. I doubt theres many people slowing down to “just once a day” unless theyre also counting other types of play as sex.
Not really when you consider how common false accusations are.
He suffers from depression and anxiety and won't go because he (irresponsibly, as is characteristic for him) missed the date to sign up for health benefits at work. He could most likely find assistance or pay out of pocket but does not want to
Yes, that's exactly what I mean. They say the women in my country are the most beautiful (although that is said in every country lol). But I can assure you they are GORGEOUS. And so much of them are.
I hate to say this but I think it's time you put yourself first and break things off with him. Sometimes people don't realize what they have until it's gone, and it sounds like this guy might need to know what his world is like without you in it. I've always believed in that old adage about how if you love something, set it free; if it comes back to you, it is yours, but if it doesn't, it never was.
Best wishes to you friend. You deserve better. ❤️
But recently our last two fights have gotten physical with me being thrown out the door… I'll note that physical hasn't involved any hitting. Just picking me up
thrown out a door isnt a JUST~~~ Bone breaking, head trauma, lacerations etc….all can happen from being thrown from a door.
Do you really see what you are saying there?
I know its abuse but…
I know its physical but…
i know it isnt good but…
You 2 are toxic together. Toxic
Get yourself clean and stable.
You are in control here? Can you break you habits? He is a habit and you say you are in recovery. If you are you know you have to break old habits and people.
Here’s the thing, I totally understand this too. However there’s something you need to understand connect the dots for yourself. When you had children you became a mother and when you got married you became a wife. Yes, you are your parents daughter but you now have your own “immediate” family (which consists of mom-you, dad-your husband and daughters/sons-your children) the family you created now takes first priority. It’s absolutely an adjustment. My husband and have been together for 12 years and we’re 31-me and 34-husband and we had our first child when I was 22. So not far off. I went from catering to my mothers every want and need to now I had my own family to think about. Thank god my husband understood and stood by my side until it finally clicked with me.
You’ll always be your parents daughter/baby girl. At some point though, you need to realize that’s not your #1 role anymore. Being a mother is and so is being a wife. It’s very hot and not easy because in your mind you have this dialogue of but my parents will be so upset if we don’t see them, they’ll be so upset not seeing their grandkids. That was my biggest hurdle. Never wanting to upset my mother or in other words “rock the boat” with her. It look me a full year of holidays to realize I wasn’t planning holidays based on my kids happiness but my mothers happiness.
It can actually be more relaxing for me because I love the peacefulness and stillness to the snow which also kind of dampens sound
You agree that you felt like you are autistic. I am pointing this out for your husband did not make it up. He did not lie. He believed you when you agreed with him. He was trying to explain to his mom why there is a social distance between you and her family. Your MIL sounds like she is trying to be understanding with her statement of “ I just have to learn to accept my D-I-l is different and I have to learn to like her as she is”
There are a couple of bigger issues here. It does not matter that your family is bigger than his, it is not fair for you to always do Christmas with your family. His family is just as important to him as yours are to you.
You also looking at your husband's text is a huge invasion of his privacy. Unless he said you could you had no right to do so. You broke the trust between you and him.
You need to grow up and be more open to his family. If you are not it is going to cause a lot of damage to your relationship with him.
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So, let's flip the script a second.
What would you say to her if she said she wanted you to get rid of something you enjoy simply because she was insecure?
Imagine telling a woman her body “looks like a gross pruney clam, about time you’re getting labiaplasty” Your wife seems like a shitty person that should reflect on the body shaming she perpetuates
Oh so NOW he wants to dictate how things should go, how YOU should feel, and moreover, how you should express your feelings. Tell him to fuck off. Go pound sand. Whatever makes you feel better about HIM LYING.
Tell him you're now divorced, and he can take his suggestions about how YOU should feel about HIM lying for so fucking long and shove them straight up his ass.
It’s a lost cause. I’m sorry. Leave him. You can do better. And you deserve better. Trust me, you should leave. Feel free to message me as I have been through the same.
He's plainly told you he has no intention or desire to stop drinking. He's told you his freedom to drink whenever he wants is more important to him than having a healthy relationship with you.
At 31 years old and with his history of alcoholism, the probability of him deciding to stop drinking (again) and actually doing it, and sustaining it, is low. And right now, he's not even interested in quitting.
He's telling you it is over. He's made his choice, and it is drinking. Not you.
Him expressing fear for how his drinking may affect his job in law enforcement shows that he knows the risk he's taking. The rational part of his brain is telling him that as a rookie cop, he's not going to be given chance after chance when his drinking interferes with his ability to do his job. His co-workers will not want to risk their safety by partnering with him. He's been on the job three months, and the other officers have probably already talked among themselves about him. He knows this.
You are right, it is time to end things for good.
Where are you based? I'm from the UK and have attended various sex parties as a single and gotten to know lots of couples in the community. I could point you in the direction of some of those where you could chat with people about it before making any moves.
The key takeaway I've heard from other couples is communication, communication, communication. You need to be able to be open and honest with each other about your desires and your fears/anxieties. You need to set boundaries and check in with each other about those boundaries regularly (the idea of seeing your partner with someone else vs. the reality of it may be two different things!).
I definitely think that some of the most in-love couples I know, and the healthiest relationships I've ever witnessed, are people who are in this scene or are in otherwise open/ENM relationships. It takes a lot of trust and a deep knowledge of yourselves and each other. If you do go for it, enjoy!
You were wrong to attack her. Healthy relationships have healthy discusion, even if it isn't what you want to hear. After your next discussion, which you really need to have, calmy figure out where her mindset is. Is this something she has to have? A random thought and she wanted to see if you were open to it? Doesn't need it but sounded fun? Then process the information and make a decision on whether to explore with her, reject the idea entirely or even end the relationship if you are on totally different paths in life.
I had a FWB that did this. I told him my expectations of no strings at the very start, which he agreed with. Ended up he wanted the GF exclusivity/experience without the commitment. The sex was good; but that good. I respected what he wanted and ended the situation. Don’t you just love people that think they can change you to be what they want? Be with someone who wants every bit of who you are. I’m married now, because he was respected my boundaries and showed me respect and understanding which in turn made me fall in love with him. And believe you me after 2 toxic relationships he had an uphill battle to change my mind. But he did.
He’s looking to start trucking training soon so he’s not sure how they’ll be
Addicts HAVE to be held accountable. Holding him accountable will do more for him than enabling this to continue.
It sounds like the typical old dude who will trade you for the newer model when it's good for him. It sounds like that from this post anyways. What can he really do to show you that you can trust him?
So she is a SAHM w/out a job outside of her home?
Judging by her insecurities shown in the post. Yes
What does that mean ?
“Be a man” bro nah Men are allowed to get sick, have feelings, and cry. Fuck that social pressure. Don't be “a man”. Just be yourself.
You're right. It just sucks because she has some qualities that i really like. I'd love to have chemistry but you can't force attraction
I think you need to let the separate finances ride out for a while, if you want to try and salvage this. It may come up as a wake up call for both of you. She may realize that she needs your income to help pay for the car, you may realize that you can afford one yourself…or you could realize that it all works out just fine either way.
My husband and I did for years, before and after marriage. This is the exact reason why. So we kept spending bank accounts separate, saved separate, and had a joint account for shared expenses. We each added in our share each month and called it good. Worked great.
I’m autistic and male, and I’d be the first to plead for tolerance of inadvertently ‘rude’ words or behaviour from autistic people, but there is no excusing what you describe, particularly if it’s part of a pattern. It’s verbal abuse, and is inexcusable.
It sounds to me like he needs some time to reflect by himself – I would think seriously about staying with him if I were you. But please be careful because that sort of verbal abuse is so extreme that you need to ensure you’re safe when speaking to him about it.
Chiming in as a 24 year old woman, 18 year olds are literally babies to me. Something weird is going on here if she's trying to be in a relationship with him
You need to have a serious conversation about your timeline. It sounds like she thought these things would be soon if not already happening, but you don’t feel the same. Don’t be afraid of starting over with someone new!
Someone else described a 3some in committed relationship as Russian Roulette (wish I could remember who) but it stuck with me because that’s exactly how I feel but couldn’t articulate. There is no way to truly anticipate the repercussions. You could plan and talk then scenario to death but you can’t anticipate feelings and I personally won’t risk it damaging the good (& fulfilling) thing we have going.
What is his gotdamn problem? He’s had plenty of years alive to know better. You’re having his child for fs! Don’t tolerate him anymore!
Oldest trick in the book
I think this is a case of getting the milk for free. You're already performing all the duties of a wife without him having to legally tie himself to you. He's been through a divorce and probably doesn't want to do that again. Also, since he hooked up with you at 21, likelihood of a break up is high and he knows it.