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Secrets like that are a giant red flag. If you feel like your friend is making a dangerous choice, you as a true friend should do everything you can to help her realize how dangerous it is
I personally think that the sooner you tell him the better,
I fell pregnant with my second child and didn’t know wether or not to tell the dad because I didn’t think he would want to be involved. He was very toxic towards me in the past and I didn’t know if I wanted to put my child through him being toxic towards them.
Fast forward and I have an incredible partner (the baby’s dad) and the best dad to BOTH of my children (my first isn’t biologically his) but he treats her as if she is his own.
I know that for your situation it’s a lot different but I think if you tell him sooner rather than later, you will get the answers that you’re looking for.
Hindsight is a wonderful but devastating thing and I personally think that you will never find a right time, so just tell him?
If things don’t work out, your baby will always have you x
It’s not a match.
Go find your match.
I will have to move out my parents’ place soon and I’m not sure if I can rely on him to be ready by then.
This is the thinking that's getting you in trouble! This thought process would make sense if you were married or in a very LTR. It hasn't even been a year. Separate these 2 issues.
I think it's very smart that you want to make sure he's stabilized career wise. But it's too soon to tie your own short term future into this. What happens if you realize 2 years down the road that he's not capable of supporting himself, or he has insane expectations about the work involved? It's a lot easier to disentangle if you're living separately. That's why this is stuff you need to know for fact before living together.
She’s trash.
Just move on
What happened to you sucks, but there isn't much you can do about it. See somebody if you think you need help processing it.
We both have encouraged her to go to therapy. We've offered her our support and help. I really hope she does decide to go to therapy, she very much needs it.
People actually believing this is real sigh
First of all, you are simply spewing bullshit, you don't need all those things to find a partner, people are still getting happily married without looking like Brad Pitt or earning six figures.
American woman simply don't put up with you because they can see your sexism from a mile away, and I assure you that any other ethnicity of women also will. Either the whole female population of the United States have high standards or you are the problem.
Yeah, wow. I feel for her husband, no wonder he treats her like a roommate. Hopefully he wakes up and leaves this shitty marriage.
Men have no idea how naked it is to raise a child from birth. They always overestimate their abilities because they don't see 100% of what it takes to raise a kid.
You made and gave birth to the child. Unless the father concedes you're on the hook for child support as your minimum parental responsibility normally. Parental rights are not easy waved otherwise every man that regrets getting a woman pregnant would do so. You made a bad decision in having no legal agreement beforehand so now you have 18 years where you pay for the lesson learned.
You run. He threatened your llife and family, and that's not something to stay in a relationship for. Get out, get help if you need it, but do not stay in this relationship.
I mean I’m getting it. Fuck JK but the game looks sick and I’ve waited for something like it for forever.
Look up love bombing. He's also controlling and his “stay home and cook for me” is most likely going to turn into financial abuse. He won't listen to you when you try an communicate with him and says you're “secretive” because he wants to know your every move.
I am not exaggerating when I tell you, you need to run. Run now because this only going to get much much MUCH worse.
The children who online in the house aren’t yet “grown.”
As a parent, you fulfill your responsibilities to your children, full stop. That is the first priority. You’ve always promised to put them through college? Do that. You provided x financial support for kid #1, you do the same for kids #2 & 3.
Your post sounds very much like you want your fiancée to put your desires ahead of her kids, and it’s very hot to know if that’s reasonable.
Really, there shouldn’t be a choice between supporting your kids and supporting your spouse. When you marry, you become ONE family, and your choices should support the whole family.
You probably shouldn’t marry until her children are launched. You sound resentful already.
I think she asked you for a reason and you shut it down . I would definitely pay more attention to her and her friend,, I would also tell her what happens if she cheats.
Sounds good. Thanks for being so “nice” about it
. He looks after me, dotes on me, picks up the slack at home when I’m working long hours.
Google covert narcissism.
Wow, you are overreacting. Also, don’t ask questions of your man that you don’t want the answers to.
Easy fix here…like super easy.
Just tell him his friend was smaller. It’ll be a non-issue going forward. Yes, we’re that simple.
Bro, take the phone back. Simple. Or stop paying and block her. If it doesn’t affect your credit etc then I would really stop it all.
That ☝?
“Sharing everything decidedly unhealthy”.
I never really considered that as last relationships I always had something in common and shared interests before we started dating.
Thanks
He is very possessive of me, not in a scary or you can't go out without me way but he doesnt want me to leave him despite being mostly uninterested in me lately. I asked about a break a while back and he got so sad and hugged me for hours asking me to not leave him.
He's had 3 serious gf's besides me and I assumed he was the same with them but he doesnt talk about that too. I asked how they broke up and he said he didn't want to go into it and he didn't want be to be jealous so we shouldn't talk about his exes. But knowing how he is, I felt like if one of them came back in the picture he'd leave me for her.
do both
Literally head empty no thought logic. I don't understand how people like you get into relationships, you're clearly using her. Leaver her alone, and mind your business, no woman should be subjected to your tomfoolery.
How old is the new wife?
I've tried white noise, ear plugs, melatonin, lots of things. I can sleep easy enough through most things. The alarm I just up for immediately though. It makes me think it's time for me to wake up and get ready.
Good ol bingo string snapped while getting naked lap dance from SO and a lot of blood came out but wasnt that painful
I’m gonna tell you I don’t think this is going to last. First off, you started dating somebody that it just knocked up another girl so your morals are not on any high ground. And I wouldn’t want you anywhere near my baby if I were her. I think she was trying to be generous in the beginning, but as her child grew she wanted to have a regular life with her baby and the baby’s father. Without you. It’s really reasonable and frankly, you don’t deserve to be a part of anything.
If you marry him, and I have high doubts about that at this point, but if you do, the child will eventually visit you yes. Probably not for a few years. a lot of babies stay with their mom and until three years old before they go someplace else. I would stay in your own lane and just try to be respectful. You may notice that your boyfriend starts to get a little bit distant to as the baby comes in. He realizes he’s part of the family.
I just don’t think people hiding their snapchat conversations and carrying secret phones are really earning your trust.
The spam bot is so real for that one then.
This is very therapeutic for me. You seem upset. Maybe we can go to therapy together
She might not be inclined just now but he’s sniffing round and he’ll keep doing so ‘just under the radar’ unless he’s slapped down.
What he said about you having no friends – is that true? I’m sure with you working, and taking care of the house and kids leaves you with very little time, but I’m wondering if he has manipulated and controlled you in this aspect.
Most of his debt is very reasonable. The only scary thing here is the $5k in CC debt. That will compound until he dies if he isnt aggressive.
This is why people don’t take Reddit advice seriously. “Dump her, hit the gym” is such childish and reductionist advice. Obviously she has enough redeeming qualities that OP not only has dated her for this long, but intends to marry her. While she is acting picky and selfish, that doesn’t mean that’s who she is. It’s likely something else going on, but instead of being curious, you just went 0-60.
I went thru her social media last night and saw her texting her friend about it, so it’s something that really happened, but on the same texts i saw that they were chatting for a while, but that was all i guess. Can’t trust it anymore, until i confront her. But the second option thing now got me.
All of this