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What worries me about this is not your parents but you're only living together for a year and then moving on to secondary school. Where would you online then? Go back to living with parents or will this be long distance?
If you had strategies that worked for you before, implement them again. It’s likely that part of your depression is due to the feeling of self loathing and negative self talk when your ADHD issues are out of control.
I do understand how hard it can be at times if your ADHD is not well managed. But if you’re struggling then it’s maybe time to talk to your doctor and therapist again and see if some adjustments need to be made.
I know you’re sorry. And I know you’re not doing these things “on purpose”. But you also aren’t trying very nude to mitigate the issues. Wishing it would improve isn’t the same as taking actual steps. Your roommate might feel a little better if they at least saw you trying to do better.
For me, it would be a deal-breaker. I can compromise on looks, etc, but not on being smart. And this opinion is just dumb.
It's not every single meal but once she uses it, it goes straight in the wash.
Does… does she run an entire wash cycle just to wash one tea towel on its own?
If the answer is 'yes'… wtf?
If the answer is 'no' then your argument about washing it producing more waste doesn't really hold water(if you'll pardon the pun).
If the problem is that you run out before the wash gets done, go get more towels or some cloth napkins.
This is such a non-issue I'm curious if this isn't just a single instance of a larger underlying conflict in values or housekeeping styles.
I's not just politics tbf that was just one example I gave. The way I see it, if my partner is ranting and complaining about a headline she has seen or something she has read and I know something that either shows what she has seen is wrong or exaggerated then I'll tell her because it means she's complaining/getting upset over something that isn't true.
And tells her he’s going to be an attorney. She’s blissfully unaware that they have hoops to jump through before sitting for the exam. If he has something to hide, he won’t be sitting.
Now that I have been through this myself I see that there are many complexities to humans and why people cheat. And always two sides to the story. My question wasn’t about the morality of what I’ve done. Thank you – but I asked for advice from someone who has been in the same situation as me to get back on my feet again.
Sounds like he need a little counselling. Now it’s the porn, soon it will be something else he will associate with his ex.
I've been that third too, as a bi guy.
NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! It's their fault for putting you in that position!
You and your friends degrade and demean women because you don’t see women as other people, but objects that exist to amuse you. This is rape culture.
Your girlfriend isn’t traumatized because she’s possessive or insecure, but because she just found out that her boyfriend is a raging misogynist and not the safe person she thought he was. What would your friends be saying about your girlfriend if they didn’t consider her your property and therefore off limits? What would you feel comfortable saying about their wives if you didn’t consider them “claimed”? They would all be fair game, wouldn’t they?
As for breaking up, no shit. You don’t share the same values. You don’t respect her, other women you know, or women as a class. You basically said “bros before hoes” to a woman you planned to marry, which indicates that you’re easily influenced and not that bright. If she has an ounce of common sense and self-respect, she won’t waste any more time with a 28 year old frat boy.
Very through answer. Thanks.
You are essentially exploiting your fathers need to resolve past issues for financial gain, and although it's sad that you are in a position where you need to, it is immoral.
He doesn't want to 'resolve' anything. Just be friends again, with zero accountability and zero chance to ever find out how much of everything he lied about.
It doesn't excuse how he treated your mother, nor would it fix the problem or undo the damage.
Fix, no. Undo, no. Help, yes.
Your mother has supported you through financial difficult but quite frankly, that is down to you and not your fathers absence, especially if the majority of this financial support has been given while you have been an adult.
You're right. It's not because of his absence. It is, very much, because of his presense.
Did you cut contact with your father immediately following how he treated your mother, or was this a result of other factors later on? You said they divorced 20 years ago but didn't give a specific number of years for how long you have been no-contact.
It's a long story but basically I refused to be tossed around in scared custody and only lived with my mom after I turned 18. I did meet up with him regularly/monthly after that until a couple of years ago.
Part of why I waited so long to cut him off completly is because I believed things he had lied about.
If I was your father, I would be disappointed that it took a financial bribe to make you speak to me again, but I imagine my desperation in developing some kind of relationship with my estranged child would make me go through with it regardless. People can change, they become aware of their life choices and how they may have negatively impacted those around them, and some people just want the opportunity to put right those wrongs (or at least explain their reasons). It's sad that you're using this to exploit your father, rather than make a decision based on your feelings on the matter.
I have giving him 20 years of chances to change. I'm done unless he pays up.
It's fine not to want contact with your father. It's fine to want to give him the opportunity to explain or try to forge a relationship with you. It isn't fine to benefit financially from this.
Why not? He's not poor. And I'm not getting tied up on his ginarmous sail boat again.
Tell him you'll sign a prenup – that all of his assets that he had before marriage will belong solely to him in the event of divorce and that you can have separate finances while married so there's no risk of you struggling to divide those assets later.
If he still isn't interested in marriage…then he'll never marry you. Decide if that's something you can online with or if you need to break up, at that point.
What? You actually want to remain friends with someone who has been cheating on your friends for years? What is wrong with you?
She said she’d choose you over dude if it was needed to save the relationship. Then she turns around and says if you ask her to choose, it would be a dealbreaker. This woman is manipulating you. She knows that the second she turns on the waterworks, you cave and give her whatever she wants. You bend over backwards for her and she chose to take someone else on a date. This hurt you, but you still comforted her. You deserve so much better.
If snoring is the true issue, ok but why the couch? Couldn’t you set up another bedroom for you? Does she allow you to keep your clothes and stuff in the master with her stuff?