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Thank fuck you said it, that's literally always my first thought. Like the asshole dad either didn't care to think through enough what he may be doing or he just thought she'd get over it. Either way he should die without ever seeing that kid imo .
I get you are upset that it is looking like you are not going to officiate or be one of the groomsmen at your best friend's wedding and will an ordinary guest. You have to accept that while he is your best friend, it is becoming clear you are not his.
I would not recommend confronting him to be in the wedding party as it has no meaning if you are forcing him to decide. Either which way he chooses will leave a bad feeling around. Especially if word got around that you pressured him into choosing you.
Be contented that you have done your best to be a good friend to him and his family, and his brother and mother have acknowledged your help to the family.
If you are finally not chosen to be in the wedding party, do not let your emotions get the better of you. Be a normal guest and help out if asked. Let the wedding go on without drama from you as a parting gift to your friend. Then only fade into the background knowing that it is time to move on. You have been the best friend to him you can and in time he will know what is lost. If not, it does not matter.
I'm already seeing people give great advice about what to do, so I'll chime in about something else. You don't have a small dick. You have an average sized penis. And yeah, being a grower sucks. I am an apparently freak grower because I go from TINY, like one inch, maybe an inch and a half to eight and a half fucking inches. I'd rather just be a six inch shower. People think 6 inches is small because of porn. Half of the male population has a smaller dick than you, bro.
Likewise. I didn’t view marriage as a huge thing, and my husband and I were very pragmatic when dating and discussed general things like contraception, finances, marriage, children, etc. pretty early on. I got engaged when I was 22 and he was 27, after around 4 years of dating. We’ve been married a little over 5 1/2 years.
I told my husband I didn’t need a super fancy proposal, and I also said I didn’t want it to be public. He took me to a play that was significant to our relationship, and then he proposed after, outside of my car. It was a weeknight. I went to work the next day. My husband had told my parents, but they didn’t necessarily approve of it but didn’t stop us. They paid for the wedding so I guess they were ok with it.
I had a huge, expensive wedding. I actually asked my parents if I could just do a courthouse ceremony and a lunch after and they said no ?
I understand wanting a certain type of proposal, but being too specific is setting things up to fail.
That's what I'm thinking. I would start to feel even more guilty because I know that kids + marriage is a more immediate goals for him, something I can't do.
I can also forsee more insecurity issues, especially since graduate school does a lot of mingling activities with other students (parties, meetings, hangouts, etc). He's already insecure about his own job/position, and needs validation that I dont mind he's “just a truck driver”.
Well yes, you very well might. But that's kinda the goal if you want to see if she's interested.
You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take – Wayne Gretzky – Michael Scott
The one that got away is just that. It would have been if it was supposed too. It’s very hot knowing that you’re not exactly what he needs or wants. And same for you. He wasn’t exactly what you needed or wanted. The break up was mutual and remained friends. It was good, but it wasn’t good enough. He’s not the one that got away, he just isn’t the one. You gotta focus on you, and what kind of person you do want, what kind of person you want to be for another. Love is wild, and it’s sad. And you will move and jealousy is super normal. It’s nude to see them Move on especially when you haven’t yet. And you will. In the mean time focus hot on your future. Plan a trip. Read a ten new books. Volunteer for something. The right one will come and it will fall into place easily, and it’s won’t be very hot.
It fits. Wait. Don’t send them bad vibes and wish them badly. They could break up in a year, in two. But keeping your heart dark will only taint you, and if you ever have a chance with him again, he will sense your energy, that strange resentment and will ? be creeped out by that. Why would she want me to fail? To be hurt? I thought we were friends?
Every time you wish him and her break up, instead wish that you move on from these feelings and shake it off.
Best of luck, we all have been there.
A few weeks before his 40th I found out that he used my ssn to open several credit cards and maxed them out. I could not afford to do more than a large cupcake and small gift for his 40th as I was paying multiple overdue surprise bills and freaking out about the newfound debt. I was also very hurt.
Lying straight to your spouses face is 4D chess now? Alright
Or worse the girl could commit suicide. So tell your wife to knock it the fuck off.
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My boyfriend (30M) lives with me (35F), he was living with his father and step mother, but the step mother and my boyfriend do not get along so he was ousted. My boyfriend has a 7 year old daughter that he sees every other weekend. She stays at my house as well during those times. We have been together almost a year. He’s told me that he will only love his daughter and family. That’s all you’re supposed to love in his eyes. I do a lot for him, I’ve paid bills of his, made sure he and his kid can eat and have a roof over their heads. He doesn’t help pay any bills, I’ve caught him talking to women on dating apps, fb, snap and text, I don’t think I’ll ever trust him again. How do I get rid of this leech seeming man before I lose my mind completely?
He has you as a hostage. He knows the guilt and worry about him killing himself stop you from leaving him. That's how he keeps his comfortable situation going.
You can't save him. You are not responsible if he kills himself; he is. You can't fix him. You can only save yourself.
Why exactly does she want to keep it?
If you don't want to have a kid right now (and I doubt you are in a financial position to have one), you should tell her that even if it is your kid, you are not ready to have one and are not planning to help take care of a baby because you have other things to focus on. She can take you to court for child support if it happens to be yours, but you are also not planning to make a lot of money at 20 years old. She might get 200 to 400 dollars, unfortunately for her.
The reason why I think you should be harsh, even if you plan to help and be there if it turns out to be your son, is because she might have some deluded idea that now she gets to play happy family and run away from her problems. It might kick her into gear to think about whether she actually can take care of a baby or if she prefers an abortion.
And like others said, you can do a blood test, it costs between 800 to 1000 dollars. But honestly, I wouldn't do it until she is over 5 months. She needs to think if she is going to have the baby and if you come out as the father, it will give her false hopes.
Thank you
She needs a different doctor and a second opinion. Anyone that dismisses pain as “something that happens” is probably one of those doctors that graduated last in their class
No, it’s totally normal.
Why are you marrying a man you’re afraid to be honest with? I promise you, swallowing your feelings because you don’t want to be “the bad guy” will blow up in your face.
You date someone your own age.
It doesn’t change things. I was once a 19 year old getting attention from older men…I’m now so grossed out by my memories of that.
Your gut is telling you something. Listen. And learn to keep listening to that so you can avoid the mistakes the rest of us made.
If this is a new issue, she needs to talk to her gyn about it. She may have some type of issue.
Dude not cool. How would you feel if Eve did that to you? I feel sorry for Eve. She doesn't deserve that. In fact you don't deserve Eve at all. She will now have a very hot time trusting other men because of you. You created unnecessary drama and trauma for that poor girl.
Birds of a feather flock together.
That is far less than I deserve
I would want to know before any relationship started. I’m into xy chromosomes…
I always tell my kids “a half truth is a lie”… and this is him lying to her, tricking her, and just expecting her to be okay with it. Lack of integrity.
She’s wrong. It is definitely cheating.
This is such an intense violation of privacy, it would be an immediate break up for me.
I also have a history of being with controlling partners and not tolerating controlling behaviour like this is a firm boundary to keep myself safe.
I don’t think you’re over reacting at all in having a very strong negative reaction. I think your brain is trying to protect you, because you know that this is a serious violation, and could be an indicator of future, controlling and abusive behavior.
Probably doesn’t communicate at all and expects her to read his mind. If he gave two shits about her and had some empathy, he wouldn’t be whining about him only having sex every two weeks. Is it a bit rough? Yes, but imagine what she goes through? If she hurts, he’s not doing something right. He wouldn’t be griping about how his wife’s condition is why he’s thinking about cheating on her. He wouldn’t be blaming everything on his wife. If he wants their marriage to last, he needs to grow some empathy and sympathy, get into couples counseling, and learn how to pleasure her. Sex doesn’t always have to equate to orgasm. Ffs, does he even ask her what makes her comfortable or what she likes?
Of course it’s hitting her. She’s not a robot. That doesn’t mean that you responding is a good idea.
This relationship was irreparably damaged the first time you cheated, and you two have just been keeping it alive on life support.
Let it die.
Be single for a while so you can figure things out. Don’t do this to someone else.
Would you tell your father this story? Or brother? How would they react? Do the strong male figures in your life treat their partners this way or is this the first jerk you’ve had to personally deal with?
He’s not nice, trust worthy or appreciative. Those are pretty basic asks of a person you choose to share a home and life with
I don't think it's you. A lot of men are perfectly happy to benefit from a relationship and not really want anything tangible.
Im willing to believe its often as you say than not – expectation of their friends, family, and society draw them into commitment more than the choice. If someone wants what you want, they'll be excited about it.
I do think if you know what you want and it's important to you, then its even.more important that you don't get caught in the sunk cost fallacy. If being with him is more important, sure, but up to you.
But this isn't about you, it's about him. He's the one waffling and wasting your time.
Honestly, this silent treatment sounds childish and manipulative. Given the situation, try to have a calm, direct conversation asking why he's upset and expressing how it makes you feel. If you don't get any resolution, focus on self-care and your own activities until your flight. It sucks being stuck, but don't let his immature behavior control your emotions. Stay strong and do what you gotta do.
If they can afford they absolutely do. I have a friend that preferred this way so that the fwb situation was even more clear. Dosen't need to be a 5 star hotel, one that is clean and in a distance that is convenient for both is the better option.