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After 3 days of staying at home and feeling sick to my stomach with nervousness about this I finally told Sara late last night after my last post. Thank you so much u/Own-Crew-3394 because that post gave me the push to spill my guts. As embarrassing as it is I cried from beginning to end telling Sara and pretty much told her I don’t want to online without her.
She held my hands in bed and patiently listened about how I recognized Lauren, remembered our night, and how seeing that kid mentally broke me because I saw my future with Sara jeopardized as soon as I saw him. She told me she’s upset I didn’t tell her as soon as we left her parents place and to never keep something like this from her again but she understood I was scared. She said she’s not leaving me because I never betrayed her in the last 3 years we’ve been together and we’ll figure this out too. And she said she’ll reach out to Lauren herself and figure out what’s going on because she’s been with her husband for 10 years now and if she’s my ONS from years ago she definitely cheated.
We then had an even more uncomfortable about the type of things I’ve done in my past and wanted to know if there’s any more surprises she needs to be ready for. Said she knows I was promiscuous and a bit of a reckless idiot but we kind of swept everything under the rug when we got together because we both agreed we wanted a fresh start. And after this fiasco that might’ve been a bad idea so she wants to know everything in detail now but we can have that talk another time. I don’t feel great about this but I’ll deal with this hurdle when it comes up.
Sara has been home with me trying to get in touch with Lauren since morning and has been getting completely stone walled. Finally Lauren texted her to “please just let it go”. Sara asked her again if they could just have a quick chat or even if text is ok but Lauren insisted to just “let it go please”. I’m guessing Lauren realized I told Sara everything. We don’t know how to proceed from here on out. We’re deciding to just respect her wishes and not pursue this further. Lauren also just changed her response to our wedding invite to a no show. Sara is kind of upset by this but honestly I’m fine with this outcome. We always planned to leave the US in a few years anyway.
I got a lot of messages asking me to just shut up and I was honestly ready to go that route but I think the worry was actually physically making me sick. Anyway, thanks everyone for the advice, much appreciated.
EARLIER POST BELOW
I (30m) think my fiancée’s (27f) cousin’s (34f) child is mine
My fiancée, Sara, and I have been together for 3 years.
She’s actually my first serious gf since middle school. I will honestly admit I’ve been a complete piece of shit with women for most of my teens and 20s and pretty much used women. I’m saying all this to explain how promiscuous I was in the past.
Sara knows about my past and she’s grown to accept it. We met at work and she hated me because she saw right through me and after pursuing her for close to a year she finally agreed to a date and the rest is history. We’ve been living together for 2 years now and I’ve grown incredibly close to her parents too and she also loves my family. Past 3 years have been the best of my life and I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with her.
This weekend her cousin and her family are in town. She’s really close with her cousin Lauren (miracle I haven’t met her yet, I was always busy for one reason or another the few times she’s visited in the last 3 years). So I finally met Lauren and her husband for dinner at Sara’s parents place. She immediately stares at me a bit wide eyed and I can’t help but think she looks familiar. We’re all being introduced to each other and Lauren for the most part seems to be acting normally but she’s still staring at me whenever she can. Sara’s parents then come in with Lauren’s little boy who’s 5yrs old.
I’m looking at this kid and Lauren and the only thing I can think of is that this boy looks like a carbon copy of me at his age with some Lauren mixed in. I’m suddenly starting to remember that I took Lauren home from a bar close to 6 years ago. And I also remember convincing her to not use protection after I showed her my blood work. I’m just a sweaty nervous mess for the rest of dinner and I think Lauren realizes from how she looked at me and the boy that maybe I realized too. And an even more fucked up part, I think Lauren was visiting Sara the weekend I took her home. They probably had a girls night out that weekend with their friends and I took Lauren home. So Sara was probably at the same bar that night.
Sara asked me if I was ok and just told her I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t go to work yesterday and today and just took sick days. Idk what the fuck to do. Lauren obviously isn’t saying anything. I have no clue if she was married at the time and I don’t want to ask Sara because I don’t want her getting suspicious about me asking. I don’t even know how I feel about possibly being a father (I’m 95% sure this kid is mine, looked NOTHING like the husband).
Do I just shut up? I never cheated on Sara obviously but she knows how much of a player I was and it took her a while to get past my number. I don’t know how she’d react if she knows I knocked up her cousin years before knowing her. This is vain and superficial about Sara and I love her to death but she absolutely hates if something is considered “trashy” or “low class”. I honestly think it’s possible she’d leave me if I knocked up her cousin. I can’t lose her, she’s literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Thanks for bringing this up. I still think that if there’s an emergency, one should be able to contact the other. Probably what happened was not 100% an emergency… I did feel some urgency and didn’t think it would be so poorly received. If it was her sending a similar message, I consider I wouldn’t have reacted like that.
Yes, the fear of her keeping the kid away does sound odd. As far as I know, there is no formal custody agreement. He just sees the kid whenever he cans and she allows him.
Yeah, she’s already said elsewhere that she wants to be with this new guy she met on Tinder, so it’s exactly as shitty a thing she wrote as you’d expect under those circumstance. ?♂️
No cheating. both of us were single at the time.
What would be the point? Why no PIV?
If hand and blow jobs don't count as sex, is it ok if I get these from other people after marriage?
It's just a weird technicality, trying to claim some ridiculous purity award for skipping one of many acts considered to be sex.
It's a nonsense cast upon you by patriarchal prudes.
You did make the wrong decision
you’re right
My partner and I enjoy pegging from time to time. He’s a very masculine guy and I find it extremely sexy that he likes to be so vulnerable with me. I also find the experience to be erotic and empowering on my side of things. Tbh it was never something I thought I would be into but it’s a really fun way to spice things up every now and again! I’d recommend checking out some pegging focused porn if you are curious and see how you feel about it, then decide where to go from there
Keeping a list about someone’s transgressions is very petty and maybe even a little narcissistic. You can only control yourself. I personally don’t think your has and throwing out this list is divorce worthy. Maybe you two should consider therapy.
You missed the point of the entire comment. It wasn't about the money. It was never about the money, and he admitted they struggled for 3 years.
Well, I honestly think, she shouldn't be so angry now, now that they're doing well. She knew, and got into the relationship, and even married him, when he was building up this business and putting them in this good position that they're in now. They weren't married then, they had separate finances, yet she made the choice to be in a relationship with him, get engaged, get married, all while he was building this future. SO, now that they have this better position financially, instead of people calling for her to leave him, why isn't anyone talking about them spending more time together and maybe talking to a counselor or couples therapist? When a lightbulb goes out in a house, you don't burn down the house and leave, you change the lightbulb. Relationships, especially marriages, take maintenance. Most things you build together do.
OK I’m gonna tell you right now you may love your girlfriend, but she has some in Normas sexual issues going on. People don’t get involved with threesomes that are healthy and understand the place of sexuality in a relationship. It is to bond to forge a loving relationship, and eventually if they want children.
People engaging in this sort of poly movement or who haveSA’d issues don’t have proper understanding of what they feel toward their sexuality and so they give it away freely or they don’t know how they don’t know what it is.
I think you kind of set this up for her a little when you said she never has to have sex when she doesn’t want to just because she thinks she want to. I get the sentiment was perfect however what you have done is sort of brought up a part of her that if she doesn’t feel like it, she’s not gonna think about it at all. The problem with that is in a couple you have to compromise so that everybody’s needs are meant to some degree or it won’t work it’ll just end.
. So you’re gonna have to sit down and talk to her about what you hope your sex life look like and ask if she would help you participate with it. Encourage her to engage in the communication. After that you’re gonna have to decide if you want to be with her.
So what do you actually get out of the marriage? Does it bring you happiness and fulfilment? If yes, then you've got something to start from when you have a conversation. If no, why are you in it?
At least he's giving her advanced notice.
Surround yourself with people you look up to, who you want to be like. Upgrade and not Downgrade your life. Same for friends as for partners. 🙂
I’m sorry he acted this way and that he hurt you. Human relationships will forever be a source of emotional pain, just don’t let it damage you.
Take accountability today, you chose someone almost a decade younger whose two years from his frontal lobe developing and you’ve required him to punch way above his weight class.
Take the L and elevate yourself and your children, he’s not your person. Pretending the age gap isn’t a factor shows an extreme lack of judgement.
You should concentrate on your terminally ill mom right now. Then later when everything is over, confront him and and kick him to the curb. Condolences on your dying mom.