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Evgenia, 25 y.o.
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Wanting kids versus wanting to be child-free is not something you can compromise on. Nor can you negotiate it. Whatever happens, one of you will be miserable.
My first girlfriend wanted to be childfree. She was a professional dancer and felt that it would be a career-ending move to have children. I thought that I could be childfree because I wanted to be with her. I was wrong. Wanting kids is not a rational thing, it cannot be bargained with. Suppressing it only makes you more miserable.
In the end, we broke up because I wanted kids and she did not. Almost all my other relationships broke up for the same reason: I wanted kids, she did not. We had been together for 9 years at that point.
It took me until about 40 by the time I realized that this is not an issue that can be negotiated with. If she does not want kids, then we break up. Plain and simple.
Break up – you will be happier that way.
Go rub one out dude, red flag
If she is someone you see a serious future with I would tell her. My husband had a similar situation with his best friend and told me about it, it didn’t bother me at all but they weren’t living together anymore. They are still really good friends.
Right?!
We don't know why your girlfriend wants that. You need to ask her and tell her you're not ready.
Given the update, an absolutely perfect conclusion to make
I don't think you need to be so naked on yourself tbh
The all depends on the why for leaving, but because you are asking and feeling bad about it, probably not a bad person.
Breaking up hurts, Christmas makes it worse, but I think it’s better to do it beforehand, so you both have the chance of Christmas making you feel better.
I feel like he gets mad when I go to the bar most of all, but he also gets upset if I hang out with a group of my friends and he is not there. I guess I would count that as controlling as well. I have tried telling him I think this behavior is controlling before, but he disagrees. He thinks he is trying to protect me. He used the analogy “I trust the locks on my car but I don’t leave my car in a bad place for someone to brake into it.”
I don’t see it as a complete rejection but not a naked yes I need you, it’s more of an IF I need your help, I’ll call you because “I have your number”
You are in an abusive relationship. Sorry girl, but he's just getting started. Run.
Just break up with him, you’re 19 and if he changes it likely won’t be for years yet. Not worth the emotional turmoil and insecurity.
YTA: Your wife doesn't want to have kids and you make it about yourself. Oops wait wrong sub
“No”. It's a complete sentence. There isn't anymore more you need to explain there.
Yup. This.
He is disgusting and he is completely disrespecting you and his brother. I would honestly tell your mother and father in law what he said. He started this not you.
I mean I agree with you, but this guy honestly complains that OP goes peeing before sex. Where do you even start having a conversation with someone who puts that on a list to Improve The Wife?
Are you sure you are not side chick??? He hides you from his friends and family. WTF?
You've already hit on what is a good compromise – flexibility. Once a week would be far too much to see my family, but objectively it's not extreme. The real problem comes if she's not willing to be flexible and every Sunday is blocked off on your/her calendar. Is she going to be willing to reschedule or skip a visit if something that's important to you comes up on a Sunday?
I understand that difficulties in others lives cause all sorts of problems that the people around them are forced to deal with…what you don't understand is that not everyone wants to deal with others problems, all the time..is it fair? who knows but that is reality.
How can you make him understand? how about some couples counseling. might help both of you cuz he understands plenty right now, with some insight he might understand more. Still might not change how things are going but its a start
You've handled this perfectly so far, keep it up, she knows you like her so if her thing does fizzle out she'll let you know if she's interested.
You just gotta slam that door all the way closed in your head and assume that'll never happen. You've shot your shot, you can both feel good about this (she'll feel attractive, you know you're confident and made an approach that were circumstances different might have worked).
Good going on being non toxic dude, next time or the time after it'll work out 🙂
And notice he's no longer dating these “other girls.” No one wants a lifetime of that.
Please don’t spread false information. I never told anything about that poor child, the child has parents please and he’s is a baby
There are two reasons men often get less time with their kids in divorce/custody cases. First, courts favor preserving the child’s status quo, meaning that the parent who does most of the parenting generally continues in that role. In most families, that’s the mother, but that’s the choice of each family. Second, fathers are less likely to seek parenting time and custody in general. When fathers seek equal custody, courts tend to give them equal custody.
Spreading the myth that courts have a widespread bias against fathers causes fathers to give up instead of fight. You’re making the problem worse.
Girl… you called it spam. I didn’t see your phone, I’m answering your post!
You both need to be more mature. Wtf man
Maybe, and I mean your free to feel your feels. It's just end of the line, he did what he needed to keep his wife. Sucks that she was like that, for sure though.
He broke your trust. He broke the trust of all those women. I think you know exactly what to do. You have your entire life to find someone who will respect you (and other women) It’s time to move on. Learn from this. Set boundaries. Focus on yourself