Found out my (32M) wife (32F) did porn before we started dating. We’ve only been married a year so far.
7KI found out this week my wife did a few porn scenes before we met. She didn’t make a career out of it, she says it was something she wanted to try at the time and made some money to pay off a few bills. She said she doesn’t regret it but when I asked her why she never told me she said that she was afraid I’d think of her differently.
I saw the videos and I’m just wrecked inside. We weren’t dating, it was several years before we met. She was in college still.
I think what’s bothering me the most, and I know this isn’t probably right of me to feel this way but I do, is that she looks genuinely like she was having fun. There’s a degree of jealousy I have because they did things that she won’t do with me. I didn’t ask after seeing her videos but it came up before. When I saw her on the video it cut deep and caused some jealousy.
I love my wife, I’m not upset she experimented. She says she wasn’t pressured and she met the people through friends in college. I think she’s still Facebook friends with one of the guys.
I’m just shocked, slightly angry she never told me, and jealous at the same time. Wtf do I do with these emotions? She doesn’t want to talk about it, she thinks I’m being judgmental. But I can’t talk to my friends because all they’ll want to do is find the video.
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If he says he's unhappy, he's unhappy. If you're happy, you're happy. Why is it strange that you're happy and he's not? Your feelings can be independent of each other.
What steps has she taken so far to be better? Did she get therapy? Is she taking a deep breath or excusing herself to regain her composure?
I bet you dollars to donuts that all she does is talk. Put on the act of being sorry and promising to be better. By sticking around you show her that words alone keep you around. You are teaching her that mistreating you is fine as long as she puts on the sorry act after getting her punches in.
You will not resolve this. She has nothing to gain from treating you kindly and with respect. She will not stop. Maybe she will change gears but you will be the one getting run over nontheless. She's an abusive asshole at the core. She may sprinkle in enough sweetness and lovebombing to make that bitter pill easier to swallow to you but you are setting yourself up to be fucked. So if you stay around then you better bite the pillow.
Your pedophile husband is actively engaging in sexual acts with prepubescent girls and only avoiding crossing a certain line due to legal concerns.
We're not talking about a pedophile who sees it as being wrong and avoids acting on that desire. Your husband has made it perfectly clear that he also has no desire whatsoever to change.
You can't fix this. But, more importantly, he DOES NOT WANT TO BE FIXED.
And his therapist fired him? Yeah, that's insanely rare. Also, you don't seem to realize that your husband is probably only telling you some small part of the truth. I can guarantee you that the situation is even worse than you realize.
But, honestly? Even just the information you've shared, if that's all there is to the story (it's not), would have any reasonable person running for the hills.
Yeah. I mean. It sounds over. 🙁 Sorry.
Sounds like she's not yours, it's just your turn.
Oh look another age gap relationship with a barely legal adult and an almost 30 year old ?if only there were cautionary tales about this exact thing
So you're blaming the GF in this situation? Because the BF won't break up with her?
How do you know this dude can be trusted to be honest if he's SAYING he'll break up with his partner but is still with her?
What am I missing that makes you think OP is doing a good thing by inserting herself into this situation?
I don’t understand how you thought this was going to make him or you look more favourable? You all just sound like weak willed people who obviously are too immature, selfish and foolish to be a good match to anyone as partners. Break up with your boyfriend and both of you get yourselves into therapy to fishier out how you both keep making such stupid and self destructive life choices before you fuck around too much and find out.
I had the same fear with girl I'm dating now. After going down on her and trying multiple techniques, I found one that works for her and she gets there quick now. Also be a lot of mental but you can only speak for yourself. Men that really loves a woman, wants them happy I'm every way. Men get insecure if they don't feel like it's happening. Just tell him you fn love him every day…maybe grab crotch at the Sametime. So simple and not asking much. Words of affirmation can go a long long ways.
That's part of the reason I decided on being perma single, I'm not a good partner. I do much better when it's not in a close romantic relationship so I just cut those out til I can sort my own shit out. Ya know therapy being more than I make in a paycheck, I'm on the self exploration path.