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Block her on all platforms. Do not respond. You don't need to feed her anything.
It will. It always does.
A lot of people have less than ideal holiday situations, your mom being terminally ill is not something you have control over. Your girlfriend is an adult, she should be able to at least try to cope with a minor hardship without making you feel like the bad guy. Especially while you’re preemptively starting to grieve your mother and have bigger, real issues on your plate.
It sounds like your mother associates your girlfriend with added stress, and I kind of can’t blame her if so.
Maybe don’t date someone who just got out of college. Like do we not know how to find age appropriate dates?
Get some therapy
I quit reading when you said that you haven't even bought your child a birthday gift in two years. You are damaging your child because you lack the spine to deal with your wife.
You already caught her having a affair 4 times now, and she still the tell you all you all the truth, i mean, what are you expecting on this marriage? Is more she doesnt care about you and will continuing cheating on you, infact she care so less for you that she gives you an std, just divorce man have a little of self love, and i would make paternity test on those kids 4 sure
It's alright to dislike a ring bc of style…
But to have the focus purely be about the size of the diamond is a red flag imo.
I mean what would she do financially, but you’re right I guess she’ll have to figure it out herself.
Why not talk with her about it? She will probably be able to tell you a lot better than random people on Reddit
They should have knocked. They owe you cake. Happy birthday.
Just be consistent and repeat it again and again.
Had ugly duckling syndrome since my elder sister kept on telling me how ugly I was. So I didn't believe people when they tell me I'm attractive. I also became really dense in the romance dept because I really thought no one thinks I'm pretty.
So he kept saying it over and over and also showed it through his actions. ?
You can’t choose your family. You can choose how you let people treat you.
Bro, what? It sounds like you are a weak man. On what world is your mother visiting and knowing in your door an issue. Sounds like your wife is the problem. Not your mom.
Weird arms penis noodle
Yeah, sorry, that’s a major AH move. Putting his friends above you when you already have plans and it’s not an emergency on the friends‘ side is just not okay at all. He’s not a teenager who doesn’t know any better.
He basically told you that you’re his backup solution but if he’s offered something better, he‘ll take it.
I‘d take a long naked look at the relationship and see whether this is a one-time screw-up or a pattern. You mentioned there have been things that made it seem like he’s not putting in any effort and you were reconsidering the relationship before. Listen to your gut. Just because this relationship is better than the one where you suffered abuse doesn’t mean it’s a good relationship.
Everyone is different but since you asked for other experiences: In my experience, men who don’t prioritize their relationship don’t change. If his apologies had been sincere I might view it differently but he tried shifting blame and only really tried to make up for it afterwards.
I haven’t been in the exact scenario because I don’t care about anniversaries but I have had bfs who did this for other dates or failed to get me anything (even a card) for my birthday and that’s just the type of carelessness/low-effort that doesn’t change if the apology isn’t 100% sincere in the moment. The second anyone starts to shift blame over sth like this, I think they’re not going to change.
Stop posting when you're naked headed. No matter how you deny it, men don't do this to women in HEALTHY relationships. But what do older women who've lived and seen know. And then you got a bad “best friend”. Girl love yourself and do better for yourself.
Cheating is whatever two people agree is outside of the bounds of their relationship. If you weren't in a relationship at that time, it's not cheating. But if you feel guilty about it, I'd suggest talking to her about is you don't carry around this guilt forever.
How old were you when you started dating?
If you do divorce her, just know that her Dad WILL be around your kids. She'll use him as support. And he will be a racist tw@t around them.
This is more helpful. I don’t think I’ve thought of it from her perspective of being safer or possible for her. Thanks
If there's any rule, it's that there is always exceptions to the rule. Some people love airing their laundry. I've heard weird shit I never wanted to know. So how does OPs mom know multiple couples like this yet nearly everyone on this thread thinks it's crazy
I think your husband was probably caught off guard and had a knee jerk reaction, especially if you've never had an explicit conversation about how to handle ex's. When my husband and I very first started dating he had a mild freak out because I said I was going to coffee with my friend Mike. I was totally caught off guard because Mike and I were very definitely NOT interested in each other and I had been going to coffee with him (we called it “girl talk” time) for years at that point. No one was the bad guy, we both had different defaults and expectations and we talked it through!
Ah thank you, nobody has ever really asked me for updates before on here so thats nice of you :’) hoping that next week when I see him, I can finally end things.
Yes I feel like I’ve only ever been in controlling relationships, I dont really pursue that because at the beginning, they dont show that side at all, it just ends up being like that after several months of being together, so I just dont understand. Never have I once had a man who doesnt control what I wear, frequency of seeing my friends compared to him, my future etc.
Thank you for the advice, definitely prioritising my job hunt!
Jesus bro. For once in your life be a man and tell her what you did
Not him but he did use “guys” as well so he was prob just using terms without thinking about any implications if I had to guess
That's even more reason to leave. If she makes a threat, call 911 or the local equivalent. That way, she either gets the help she needs or learns not to play around with threats like that.
As abrupt as this comment is I hope it doesn't get down voted because based honestly. That level of natural need for release and the belief that its sinful just leads to extreme fucked up shit.
Different people have different ideas about what constitutes cheating in their relationship, so no one can tell you it is or isn’t. I will say, however, that I’d feel it was cheating and I’m sure most others would, too. A kiss with a friend doesn’t usually involve tongue and I feel like you acknowledge this by following it up with ‘A is a very sexual person’.
It's not a game, and it repair his marriage, your son has chosen to stop contact with his ex who he lied and saw behind his wife's back.
Do you have any non-selfish reasons to be against them repairing their marriage? They're actively working against a broken home, and you're fighting to stop them. YOU are the one meddling and interfering in them repairing their marriage.
Your wife needs a therapist
I just thought about how my wife would respond and my testicles are feeling sympathy pains
Invest in yourself before a relationship.
Why would you stay with someone that lets her friend talk to you like that and then basically calls you a liar. Why are you being nice to him? Get back in his face and stand up for yourself.
^This! Trying to play/act nice to someone we didn't really want to be hanging out with us is exhausting!
Has anyone else ever pointed this out about your partner? If yes, then fair enough it could be an issue. If not, it kinda sounds like you’re projecting a bit and/or being insecure.
With a deal-breaking partner, the only kind of deal that remains viable is one where the privileges come at a “price” to be paid upfront.
“Want to sherlock one of my devices? One of my apps? One of my passwords? A day, week or month of tracking? An evening of hourly check-ins? Well, my dear parole officer, as much as I detest this humiliating treatment, I'm fully open to negotiation. All of these things are now available to you at a price. Each time you want one, just bargain with me.”
You can treat this with deadly seriousness or have a bit of fun with it, making your “price” more playful than punitive. Is it enough to make your point, or does the price need to present Wife with a very naked choice?
Exactly. Hence my advice.
I think you were really understanding and made every effort to make her happy the first time you changed the ring. I don’t think you should bend over backwards to do it again. She chose this one so it should be on her if she wants another ring. You probably won’t get much of what you paid.
You do not deserve to be treated that way and it sounds super controlling and abusive. Then up the day you have to ask yourself if this is the life you want to live? Is this the life you want for them the next 20 or 30 years? I know children complicate things but a child growing up in a healthy home is better than a child growing up in a non-healthy home. I wish you the best and if you do want to stay with him maybe try couples therapy or something
Would you invite your best friend to your wedding if she did the same thing? Doubtful. They can live their happily ever after, you live! yours.
Fair enough just letting you know