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Is this a joke? Because it seems to me you are too comfortable with letting people run over you and you’re being indenial which can be a very bad thing for your relationships further on. Be fr. Don’t ever get comfortable with anyone doing such a thing! He’s not respecting you at all. It’s better to realize it now than to ignore it and things get worse. That’s disgusting and I hope you’re not serious because that’s ridiculous and you don’t deserve that.
I looked through his browser history and there were multiple tabs of it.
find a therapist who will help you resolve through any insecurities you have that led you to snoop on your partner without their consent
We also haven’t been intimate recently
did you want to be intimate with him? did he reject your advances when you initiated intimacy with him? if so, tell him how you felt about that particular situation
Don’t really know how to approach this or what to say, especially since I went through his phone.
don't bring it up and don't do it again
Yes exactly, the attention I feel like I look for is not flirting, compliments, etc. I think it’s just someone of the opposite sex to talk to and make friends with. I don’t want any of the guys at work/school to flirt with me or think I’m interested in them. I’m also never hiding the fact that I have a boyfriend and I actually talk about him all the time. I just didn’t know if it was wrong to feel that way of wanting more guys friends and wanting time and attention from them than seeking out girl friends.
Yeah he’s never had to worry. He’s never been cold or hungry.
That’s what i’m afraid of and i’ve been thinking about it alot lately.
You are the back up plan
What did he leave?
Is this normal behavior for a lot of men?
I am not a particularly delicate dude. I am not big into fussiness, or germ freaks, or whatever. I like to go fishing and hunting with my buddies. I like to kill an animal, roast or fry it fresh over a fire, eat it with my hands, wash it down with some whisky, smoke a cigarette afterwards, and then piss on the fire to put it out.
But sweet fucking christ, even when I'm out with my buddies in the middle of the woods, miles from the nearest person…when we take a shit, we wash our hands afterwards. Was this guy raised by wolves or something??
Im confused, why did you begin a relationship with someone without telling them that your aromantic? Why did you even begin a relationship if your aromantic? How does she not know your aro after being best friends with you for two years?
Break this off immediately, do you not realise that your going to break her heart by telling her that you’ve never had a romantic feeling towards her? It honestly seems very manipulative to me that you’ve let this go on for six months without mentioning this to her
Yeah I think I need to keep them at an arms length to protect my own feelings. It just really hurts because EVERYONE singles me out. My siblings, my parents, my grandma, aunt's and uncles… just everyone. I really am not behaving aggressively or rudely. I think they just don't know how to respectfully disagree so instead they just shut down the conversation so they don't have to hear it. They know if I get upset i will stop talking, so they use it to their advantage. It may not even be intentional for them, but I have told them it hurts my feelings many times and they don't change.
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Also, your brain is fully developed by 25. That’s the minimum age I date.
I can assure you they aren’t standing around in the hot constantly swinging their dicks about to entice your girlfriend. I’ve shared many many many coed or entirely male except me hockey locker rooms and everybody is considerate about it.
Often the women’s change room is nothing more than an oversized closet, and you miss out on the opportunity to socialize and be part of the team when you’re not in the locker room (especially if you’re the only female). You can imagine how much fun it is to show up, change alone in a closet, and then after the game while everyone else recaps what happened and shoots the shit you’re alone in your change closet.
This is your insecurity.
Can I ask you this: What is the goal of the conversion when you yalk to her about it?
I am sorry OP. You’re still very young but you’ve officially outgrown him. He will likely look for another teenager. He never had any intention of treating you like a mature, equal partner.
He won’t contribute to the workload, he doesn’t respect you as an actual person but instead treats you like a sex doll/bang maid. He is not going to change because he can’t truly love. Someone who loves you would not suggest cheating or knocking up another woman. He’s actively thinking about cheating if he isn’t cheating already.
Protect your assets and make a plan to get out.
The sexiest thing that a guy can do is help around the house/with children. There are actually studies on it.
Yes, I'm serious.
Studies have shown a direct correlation between families with an active father and intimacy. The more active he was, the less pressure there was on their SO. Less stress equals higher libido. Which means more sex.
My own husband is very active around the house. I jump him constantly.
Break up asap. Your relationship is toxic and you should never give up close friends for a new relationship. Apologize to Emily for jeopardizing your friendship and not realizing your ex and you were such a toxic couple.
You’re both young and it sounds like you mutually agreed upon those rules so I guess you’re both to blame here but if one partner is left to being without their closest friends, no new relationship can be worth that sacrifice.
Don’t get me wrong, lying about that party was AHish, but it simply shouldn’t have been necessary in the first place in a healthy relationship. Break up, block the ex and make sure to avoid such toxic dynamics next time.
She did nothing wrong stop being dumb.
You’ve been on this site 5 years and have 14,000 karma, big guy
Thank you for this insight and your compassion. I think based on my knowledge of his childhood that you are very likely correct, but I didn’t know that this was a response to that type of trauma.
We were lucky in that our counsellor has a cancellation today so was able to fit him in for an individual session. There’s a lot to work through, but we’re on the right path. I’m going to turn off notifications and log off this account now, but I may update down the track.
That's just being unfaithful. That online/offline thing is bullshit. When i was single, i was really into seeking attention online, different apps, random girls blah blah blah. But i deleted all that shit once my relationship got serious. I even put her fingerprint in my phone. She knows she's welcome to go through it. Which was scary at first, but it's really relieving when you know your partner isn't looking for trouble because some are. But anyway, my point is he needs to bend a little. You seem like you're okay with him having female friends and being active on social media and all that. He should at least be hearing your concerns and drawing lines because you sound much nicer than most. If he can't do that you should consider where he really puts you in his list of values.
Our financials are pretty transparent, in general. This account was earmarked within accounts I could see so it wasn’t hidden money so much as the intention for it that was hidden. We have various long investments and other accounts that are set up for saving for big purchases so that’s why I didn’t notice. I don’t watch our investment accounts closely because it’s maddening and pointless, and because for the past several years I’ve kept pretty busy being pregnant, breastfeeding, working a demanding full-time job, being the primary parent at home, and pitching in with our business.
Fake as fuck.
Run. And in the future supply and dispose of your own condoms. And don’t flush them.
I think it’s more in the middle now I look at it. OP sees her on saturdays— it sounds like ONLY saturdays. She’s probably very frustrated more reasonably so with him not spending much time with her. She is taking it out in an unhealthy way. But like OP should look at why she’s saying it. Maybe he sees her more and she’s just an AH. Maybe she’s being neglected and lashed out.
But then you'd still end up with someone who's NOT a virgin. So what's the point ?
The fact that he can't be honest about it. That's the problem. Doesn't matter if it's porn, cheating. If he can't even come clean and say yup I was doing bad things let's work through them tells you so much. It means you can't trust him and he doesn't trust you to trust him.
Get to counseling or get to a lawyer. That he would destroy the evidence rather than just be an adult and talk with you is deeply concerning.
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I go places with his ex, we hang out often. I see her as a friend personally. But I don't think my bf should be helping anyone buy a house
You just want to have sex with them instead, which isn't any less creepy. At least my husband was actually interested in me.
You should go, you're young and shouldn't have to be dealing with this at your age. Either way, your dealing with an alcoholic or an alcoholic in recovery ( if he decides to get sober)
He has to want to stop for himself, you can try and talk to him about it but ultimately it's down to him to give a shit about his life to stop.
I feel like paragraphs 2-5 don't need to be here.
So maybe you should reconsider what he would and would not do. Protect yourself.
I wish my parents would have gotten a divorce sooner. Can’t have a happy home with out a happy marriage.
Why did you let him move in with you? He working paying rent?
Ugh, landlords like that make everything harder. So you have to move… in that case, I’d say your idea of looking for an apartment in a better area might be better than trying to buy right now. Apartment hunting is easier than house-hunting, right? ? Jk, because none of it is easy. But if you do decide that her taking time off is the way to go, be sure that you’re open and honest about how you feel about her not working and how much she contributes to the household in other ways. During my mental health crisis my husband made it clear he didn’t care if I cleaned the house or cooked or shit like that, he just wanted me to rest and do whatever I wanted to do. Once I started feeling better we had a different convo about household responsibilities because neither of us wanted resentment to grow because we felt one of us wasn’t doing something we should be doing. Good communication is the only way a healthy, happy relationship stays a healthy and happy relationship.
I hope you find a way to work it out.
Ooh this is a hot one, I personally would be transparent and tell him. I doubt if he’s a cool and understanding guy it would ruin you guys’s friendship.
Sounds messy.
You need to talk to her about this ….maybe in a public place with multiple exits.
You said they were going through a rough patch (which, you can't be in a “rough patch” in your relationship if you're not in a relationship) and you lied about her being at your house because you “had no loyalty to him.” Clearly you knew it wasn't totally on the up-and-up.
You also could have told him at any point but you're fine with covering for her as well, so…
So when her spouse goes away presumably the same applies to him?
Why would he end it? He has what he wants, a hot younger woman to bang who runs around doing stuff for him and helping with his kid. He has zero reason to end it. But he also ain't gonna marry you. He proposed to shut you up. If he wanted to marry you he would. His actions tell you all you need to know
I should have added context that we agreed to not talk to people for a bit. We also had an issue about this guy earlier and she assured me he wasn’t a problem.
It was entitled of me to still act like she owes anything to me, I just feel like it was a bit harsh and possibly a bit spiteful.
“Why do you feel the need to constantly belittle my life progress? Does it make you feel better about yourself somehow?”
Say that the next time she brings it up – see how she feels being called out in front of others.
This bitch is not your friend.
Depends. What did he sound like while saying that? It could be you just gave him the best present he could have asked for by ending his worries if you feel the same he does.
But if the answer was deadpan, I would have to say your bf is one savage sarcastic dude.
Either way you don't really have to worry, because you know where your relationship stands.