I don’t understand the negativity here. Six years isn’t a huge deal. Yes, you’re both young. But what’s wrong with trying if you have a connection? Sure, his immaturity could lead to a breakup, but it’s not like he’s underage. I was 17 and dated a 22 year old, it lasted 5 years. We’re 47 and 52 now. It didn’t work out but we’re still best friends.
I feel like the guy in this post could be a slightly older version of me lol. Yes, it is possible, and it's not unlikely that he's severely depressed. But don't let that pull you down, OP. Life goes on.
99% of that started before the marriage counseling, so we are in a better place now. I think that if we hadn't been in such a shitty place, he would probably have had better boundaries. I feel like at this point though, he's crossed them, and as such the friendship is tainted.
youre not wrong, but there are many reasons why I chose to make live friends and not real life ones. Also I wouldnt say we aren't compatible, but rather “I don't know because we barely did anything to even begin to know”- if that makes sense?
I migrate to countries very often, so making friends is difficult and it worsens my social abilities. It sucks but I'm kinda okay with it- and about her, I dont know, something just tells me to be normal friends for now, go with the flow, go with the present, and see what happens as we meet each other in real life? And like I mentioned, I'm not really searching for a relationship so I'm not into getting into one. This one is the exception because we already care about each other and we'll be meeting when we're older which gives time.
I feel like people would think I'm stupid for the way my brain works but I feel like this sounds like a good idea, but i dont know haha
She probably knows that I love him. I mean every one around us talk about how we love each other. I’m in total shock that he would do this to me.
They we’re talking about us finally moving in together. She said that I had him around my little finger. He told her that wasn’t true. She said yes you are, she will move in your big apartment and live off your generosity bla bla bla you alway fall naked for women like her. He said
That isn’t true I would even say that I’m in love with her
Do i love her? to be very honest, not anymore since i knew how she handle conflict in our relationship. But i just think that maybe we are still adapting to a new life so i just give it some time. We are almost always on good terms though, we rarely fight. I mean i still dont want to disappoint her..
Do you want to have children, ever? I wanted to at first but now i dont, ever.
The issue is to stay single right? man thats a good advice. Maybe living apart fir a while can help me and her figure out whether we better off together or not…
This woman thinks that feeling sad when someone you loved dies is “pathetic”. That is who your girlfriend is. That is the kind of person you’re dating.
You should know that just because your girlfriend is unapologetic, it doesn’t make her right. It only means that she’s rigid and unable to see your point of view. Again, that’s a good thing to know about her.
You get to decide what to do with this information. Personally, I don’t think I’d want to date a person like that.
I dated someone like this. They were an artist who was supposedly a “genius” and on the spectrum. Only their art, opinions, tastes, and interests mattered. Over time I realized, they were also an average, everyday type of asshole.
While her sensory issues are legitimate, the rest is BS. Don't date people who make you feel small. There's no excuse for it.
What you've described here aren't 'flaws'. This is emotional abuse and manipulation. His mental health is his responsibility, and you should not accept blame nor take responsibility for cushioning his shit behavior.
Can you have a separate shower separate from your family? Can your bf’s family throw you a shower? I’d try to do things separate and away from your family. They’ve already shown you that they don’t care enough/care about her more. It’s time to walk away. I’m sorry you won’t get the same treatment as your sisters. I’m sorry you won’t get the pregnancy bonding time with your mom. But they made their choice and it’s not you, and they simply don’t care that they are hurting you. So to protect yourself, your mental health, and your child, you need to take a step back from them. If your bf’s family is supportive, look to them for what you need emotionally.
Personally I hate the smiley face in this kind of scenarios. It just feels like trying too nude to seem “nice” or “likable”. The better use of emojis is to add a little extra when the conversation is flowing. Otherwise, your response was fine.
My dad this this went to Thailand and his Thai wife ended up using him for all he had and leaving him to be a dancer in Vegas with some man she’d just she met. Fuck her
He views it as a problem but he’s not articulating his viewpoint well. First, he says that the prenup is equivalent to OP’s family calling him a golddigger, which isn’t true. Second, he says that he also has money to lose if a divorce — if that is true, it’s difficult to understand what is making him against the prenup.
Look, a lot of people do have self esteem issues that they deal with by seeking validation from the opposite sex even while in a relationship but habitually seeking it out on tinder is quite extreme (normally people will just flirt a little as the opportunity presents itself in a normal social setting or they'll note attention that's paid to them without seeking it out). This doesn't always escalate into cheating but there is a likelihood that it will, especially in times of emotional stress of difficulty.
You need to think about whether you are willing to give up the chance of finding someone who doesn't need anything from anyone but you for your husband. For some people having the unreserved attention of their SO is essential for their happiness, for others it is not, both are perfectly valid but you just need to figure out what the situation is for you. If you do decide to continue this relationship you need to have a very clear discussion with your husband about what your boundaries are around his attention seeking and you need to safeguard yourself against him crossing these boundaries whether it's by setting aside personal assets for yourself in the event of a divorce or whatever.
Ask her if she gets mad when depressed people get on medicine and start to feel happy again. You’re not being given an upper hand, you’re being treated for a disability and it’s given you the ability to be your best self.
You know those friendship dynamics when one needs to feel like they’re the better of the two? We’ve all seen it, that’s your friend. She’s not mad you’re on medicine, she’s mad that she can’t feel better than you anymore.
Definitely didn’t go in wanting to change her…
I don’t understand the negativity here. Six years isn’t a huge deal. Yes, you’re both young. But what’s wrong with trying if you have a connection? Sure, his immaturity could lead to a breakup, but it’s not like he’s underage. I was 17 and dated a 22 year old, it lasted 5 years. We’re 47 and 52 now. It didn’t work out but we’re still best friends.
I feel like the guy in this post could be a slightly older version of me lol. Yes, it is possible, and it's not unlikely that he's severely depressed. But don't let that pull you down, OP. Life goes on.
99% of that started before the marriage counseling, so we are in a better place now. I think that if we hadn't been in such a shitty place, he would probably have had better boundaries. I feel like at this point though, he's crossed them, and as such the friendship is tainted.
youre not wrong, but there are many reasons why I chose to make live friends and not real life ones. Also I wouldnt say we aren't compatible, but rather “I don't know because we barely did anything to even begin to know”- if that makes sense?
I migrate to countries very often, so making friends is difficult and it worsens my social abilities. It sucks but I'm kinda okay with it- and about her, I dont know, something just tells me to be normal friends for now, go with the flow, go with the present, and see what happens as we meet each other in real life? And like I mentioned, I'm not really searching for a relationship so I'm not into getting into one. This one is the exception because we already care about each other and we'll be meeting when we're older which gives time.
I feel like people would think I'm stupid for the way my brain works but I feel like this sounds like a good idea, but i dont know haha
She probably knows that I love him. I mean every one around us talk about how we love each other. I’m in total shock that he would do this to me.
They we’re talking about us finally moving in together. She said that I had him around my little finger. He told her that wasn’t true. She said yes you are, she will move in your big apartment and live off your generosity bla bla bla you alway fall naked for women like her. He said
That isn’t true I would even say that I’m in love with her
-Why are you with her then
-great sex, best heads
They both laugh
This comment is pretty accurate to be fair, don't like it leave her, don't expect her to change etc
Obviously it may help if she reassured you that she's not oggling nude me, or stripping into her knickers etc
Both.
She don't wanna be saved
Thank you for you advice.
Do i love her? to be very honest, not anymore since i knew how she handle conflict in our relationship. But i just think that maybe we are still adapting to a new life so i just give it some time. We are almost always on good terms though, we rarely fight. I mean i still dont want to disappoint her..
Do you want to have children, ever? I wanted to at first but now i dont, ever.
The issue is to stay single right? man thats a good advice. Maybe living apart fir a while can help me and her figure out whether we better off together or not…
Your girlfriend has done you a huge favour.
She has told you precisely what she thinks.
This woman thinks that feeling sad when someone you loved dies is “pathetic”. That is who your girlfriend is. That is the kind of person you’re dating.
You should know that just because your girlfriend is unapologetic, it doesn’t make her right. It only means that she’s rigid and unable to see your point of view. Again, that’s a good thing to know about her.
You get to decide what to do with this information. Personally, I don’t think I’d want to date a person like that.
I dated someone like this. They were an artist who was supposedly a “genius” and on the spectrum. Only their art, opinions, tastes, and interests mattered. Over time I realized, they were also an average, everyday type of asshole.
While her sensory issues are legitimate, the rest is BS. Don't date people who make you feel small. There's no excuse for it.
While he does have flaws
What you've described here aren't 'flaws'. This is emotional abuse and manipulation. His mental health is his responsibility, and you should not accept blame nor take responsibility for cushioning his shit behavior.
Don’t talk to your sister. Is she close with your rapist? Because seems like she’s manipulating you, just like her.
You may not have the same problem because you were unconscious. Performing problems are psychological most of the time.
but she just screamed “do better..!”
I agree with her, do better than her, shouldn't be too difficult
Can you have a separate shower separate from your family? Can your bf’s family throw you a shower? I’d try to do things separate and away from your family. They’ve already shown you that they don’t care enough/care about her more. It’s time to walk away. I’m sorry you won’t get the same treatment as your sisters. I’m sorry you won’t get the pregnancy bonding time with your mom. But they made their choice and it’s not you, and they simply don’t care that they are hurting you. So to protect yourself, your mental health, and your child, you need to take a step back from them. If your bf’s family is supportive, look to them for what you need emotionally.
Personally I hate the smiley face in this kind of scenarios. It just feels like trying too nude to seem “nice” or “likable”. The better use of emojis is to add a little extra when the conversation is flowing. Otherwise, your response was fine.
Does she give you vibes that she maybe cheating? If the answer is yes. You know what to do. If the answer is no. Stop tripping.
My dad this this went to Thailand and his Thai wife ended up using him for all he had and leaving him to be a dancer in Vegas with some man she’d just she met. Fuck her
Your “boyfriend” is either bi or gay.
He views it as a problem but he’s not articulating his viewpoint well. First, he says that the prenup is equivalent to OP’s family calling him a golddigger, which isn’t true. Second, he says that he also has money to lose if a divorce — if that is true, it’s difficult to understand what is making him against the prenup.
Look, a lot of people do have self esteem issues that they deal with by seeking validation from the opposite sex even while in a relationship but habitually seeking it out on tinder is quite extreme (normally people will just flirt a little as the opportunity presents itself in a normal social setting or they'll note attention that's paid to them without seeking it out). This doesn't always escalate into cheating but there is a likelihood that it will, especially in times of emotional stress of difficulty.
You need to think about whether you are willing to give up the chance of finding someone who doesn't need anything from anyone but you for your husband. For some people having the unreserved attention of their SO is essential for their happiness, for others it is not, both are perfectly valid but you just need to figure out what the situation is for you. If you do decide to continue this relationship you need to have a very clear discussion with your husband about what your boundaries are around his attention seeking and you need to safeguard yourself against him crossing these boundaries whether it's by setting aside personal assets for yourself in the event of a divorce or whatever.
Ask her if she gets mad when depressed people get on medicine and start to feel happy again. You’re not being given an upper hand, you’re being treated for a disability and it’s given you the ability to be your best self.
You know those friendship dynamics when one needs to feel like they’re the better of the two? We’ve all seen it, that’s your friend. She’s not mad you’re on medicine, she’s mad that she can’t feel better than you anymore.