41 thoughts on “Halseey online sex chats for YOU!”
If she were to opt to use a vibrator purely as a substitution for me then yeah that'd probably hurt. But you use it to finish while he's there during the act? Hey you're comfortable to reach absolute climax while he's there with you, try to help him see it that way. Maybe show him how you like to use it so he can feel like 'he's' the one getting you to orgasm.
Well, to me this sounds alarming. Is she open about this or did you find out yourself without her telling you? Because if she keeps this a secret, I would definitely see that as a bright red flag.
Doesn't matter in EE. Even family you don't know are family and yours to take care of in case of need. And godfamily is usually considered family even though they aren't by blood.
If you have the money for it, maybe you could hire a cleaner. I have done home cleaning in the past and it is very reasonable prices in my area. Have a look at the prices near you. A clean house might even help her mental health as well as your own. They can do as little or as much as you decide. Good luck to you and your family. X
So you need to move to the next step of budgeting.
You separate your funds into different accounts. One for bills – not to be touched unless to pay a bill, I suggest that you maintain control of this one. One for groceries One for emergency use only – again only you to have control of this one. One for savings – no one touches this account. If you can make it that you both have to authorise any transfers out of it. One for you (it is your money, so you should have an account where you can put some money away for you to spend. You probably don’t need this account until she gets an income coming in, and when she does she will need to also have an account for herself) One for petty cash/miscellaneous items
Give her control over the petty cash. But tell her that once it’s gone there is no more. And any spending on items not budgeted for will be taken out of next months petty cash (so if you both agree that 1 coffee date a week is fine, but no more, if she grabs a coffee any other time, that amount is put into the emergency fund rather than petty cash.
Hopefully she soon realises that budgeting is nude work, and then you can give her access to the other accounts as one should in a relationship.
I realize you are talking about OP's GF & not other people's relationships, but this feels really dismissive. My partner & I went through a lot of shit with his parents & with my health in the first two years of dating. I knew how he reacts to stress & conflict pretty early on. That hasn't changed in the 10 years I have been with him. Plus, what you call puppy love has lasted all these years. My heart still skips a beat when I see him. I still think he is one of the best men I have ever known, which is why I married him. Don't get me wrong–I am aware of his flaws– but I am absolutely still smitten with him.
Bingo bango! I thought the EXACT same thing, it's SHE who has had all these thoughts because, IMO, new co-workers would never do this sort of thing, why would they..She's making crap up as she goes along..Let the break up stand OP because she's never going to be happy. Besides how on earth could she be “out of your league”? I mean she's a hair dresser not a freakin' doctor, no disrespect to Hair Stylists but come on.
If you being a cheating, manipulate asshat was the best she brought out of you, your best is a disaster.
I don’t give a shit whether you love her. That’s immaterial. If you care even the slightest bit about her well-being, mentally or emotionally, you’ll leave and never look back. Every day you spend with her is a day in the worst version of her life.
I feel like this relationship will become transactional.
It already has. On top of that, he's emotionally abusive. You'll never meet his standards, because every time you get close, he'll move the goal posts. It's a control thing to keep you under his thumb, striving to meet his expectations to get the crumbs he'll deign to give you. He doesn't care about how his BS affects your mental health.
Do yourself a favor and get a job so that you'll have money to get out from under him.
I honestly can't really follow your post, but if you felt icky about your boyfriend's response, it was probably because it showed a lack of female anatomical knowledge and touched on a subject which is a sore one for many women.
Provided that he isn't usually ignorant about this topic, I'd say just let it go. You were joking around and he probably said the first thing that popped into his head without thinking and then only dug his grave deeper when you proceeded to ask him about it.
Sometimes, a joke is just a joke, and if you frequently engage in “your mom” jokes, I frankly feel like that's to be expected.
A yes in spirit and a no in practice is still a no. If you want marriage. this isn't the one for you. If you continue this relationship do so knowing in your heart he won't change. If you expect different you will only get hurt.
This doesn't mean he can't change. But when people tell you black and white their intentions. you gotta listen.
Talked to it about her maybe seeing a therapist. She immediately responded with that she doesn't need to since she is “entitled to have her own opinion”
Always reassured and comfort her before bringing this topics up. Unfortunately there is no perfect timing for these nude topics but they usually come after a night of sleep. As I am a somewhat emotional guy too and a huge overthinker I more often than not find myself feeling like a bad person for making her feel this way. I bottle it up and comfort her still. Just that yesterday after she calmed down I had to run to the toilet cause of a breakdown and she heard me having a anxiety attack… so yee…
We definitely acted like a couple a lot of times, especially in classes. Spending every moment together etc. We just got so close over the last year I never thought we would “break up” over the course of a few months.
The plan was to visit each other regularly every few weeks/ months after she moves and enjoy the time we got left at uni together. I do understand that we could have met much more and make more out of it but tbh her leaving our flat just changed things logistically etc. And I discovered meeting every other day is ok with me which she clearly didn´t feel the same about
Um so was this defined as cheating in your relationship/does she view it as cheating or are you just phrasing it that way? If it's the latter then I guess you need to communicate boundaries better and maybe get some counselling so you can both understand what this meant from the other person's perspective. If it's the former then I really would continue with this tbh.
Mixed feelings too. Its a shame that he did actually get the nudes. If he hadn't gotten them I would have said that he eventually came around and did the right thing even if it wasnt, perhaps, done in the most honorable way. But its almost like he's had post-nut clarity and then done the right thing. In fact, that is probably exactly what it is.
I would probably confront him and let him do the talking.
“BTW, b/f, contacted me and gave me a full transcript of your chats. I'm wondering what that should mean for us and our relationship?”
Then let him talk. Let him run out of words, stay silent, and let him find something else to say.
You're allowed to be upset by whatever upsets you. But maybe look at the bigger picture here. This guy's not some uni aged person yet he's sleeping off a hangover on a weekday and hence flaking out on you. There may be more going on here than just his oversight where you're concerned. To be four decades into life and still tying one on to where you miss an entire day is kind of a glaring red flag.
This guy is in no condition to be in a relationship. He has too many issues, isn't mature enough, is MASSIVELY insecure, and possibly has some actual trauma from past relationships that's causing him to act this way. He is borderline abusive. He needs a therapist, not a girlfriend. End this relationship. Tell him you care about him, and you've enjoyed your time together, but he needs to spend some time in therapy before getting into another relationship, because nobody is going to put up with this, and he's going to lose every single girlfriend he ever has. He's so scared he's going to lose his girlfriend that he's actively driving away his girlfriend.
“As long as I behave the way he wants me to, he doesnt abuse me, so he's great!”
Your bf is abusive. Your bf is dangerous. Sure, he hasnt hit you…yet. But hitting isnt the only form of abuse and you're living an la-la-denial land. If he were TRULY interested in being better, he'd get therapy. Instead, he takes the easy way out and shows short-term efforts to dupe you into staying and you fall for it hook, line, and sinker. Since he wont get therapy, please consider getting it for yourself to you can work on your self esteem and perception of healthy boundaries/relationships.
Your best friend wants to be involved with you in some way and he found undeniable proof, or maybe even ran his mouth about it in front of or possibly to your fiance
She’s emotionally immature, but that’s no surprise for a 20 y/o. I would really think through the consequences of getting involved with someone in my place of employment, specially with someone who hasn’t matured enough yet. She doesn’t seem to be handling this like a grown adult, can’t imagine she would be any different handling relationship conflict in the workplace…
It’s not about permission, but giving a heads up and just taking your feelings into consideration. Giving the opportunity to say “I’m not really comfortable with that” and have an adult conversation about it. Ultimately it’s up to him and his decision to give a sh*t about your feelings or not. His decision would then give you the opportunity to make a decision for yourself on if this is acceptable behavior for YOU. That’s how transparency works. All cards are on the table and each party gets to decide to stay at said table.
Delaying mentioning it and then trying to justify it without validating your feelings gives “ik what I did is wrong so I hid it” vibes. If that’s how he deals with potential conflict, what else will he be willing to hide?
If she were to opt to use a vibrator purely as a substitution for me then yeah that'd probably hurt. But you use it to finish while he's there during the act? Hey you're comfortable to reach absolute climax while he's there with you, try to help him see it that way. Maybe show him how you like to use it so he can feel like 'he's' the one getting you to orgasm.
Stay away from guys that age for your own good
Please update this because something shady is happening on her part
Can you expand?
Way more important is whether or not you've called the police and filed charges.
Well, to me this sounds alarming. Is she open about this or did you find out yourself without her telling you? Because if she keeps this a secret, I would definitely see that as a bright red flag.
WHY are you with this idiot?
Doesn't matter in EE. Even family you don't know are family and yours to take care of in case of need. And godfamily is usually considered family even though they aren't by blood.
If you have the money for it, maybe you could hire a cleaner. I have done home cleaning in the past and it is very reasonable prices in my area. Have a look at the prices near you. A clean house might even help her mental health as well as your own. They can do as little or as much as you decide. Good luck to you and your family. X
Thank for these words, I really needed to hear them, I don't really have someone to tell me this, and I'm thankful that you said them
You really do not want to surprise her on the day as it would be unfair to catch her unprepared in a public situation.
Pretty good point.
I'd leave the fiancé at home. This is a VERY delicate situation.
Best of luck, OP.
So you need to move to the next step of budgeting.
You separate your funds into different accounts. One for bills – not to be touched unless to pay a bill, I suggest that you maintain control of this one. One for groceries One for emergency use only – again only you to have control of this one. One for savings – no one touches this account. If you can make it that you both have to authorise any transfers out of it. One for you (it is your money, so you should have an account where you can put some money away for you to spend. You probably don’t need this account until she gets an income coming in, and when she does she will need to also have an account for herself) One for petty cash/miscellaneous items
Give her control over the petty cash. But tell her that once it’s gone there is no more. And any spending on items not budgeted for will be taken out of next months petty cash (so if you both agree that 1 coffee date a week is fine, but no more, if she grabs a coffee any other time, that amount is put into the emergency fund rather than petty cash.
Hopefully she soon realises that budgeting is nude work, and then you can give her access to the other accounts as one should in a relationship.
There really needs to be a separate sub for relationships with massive age gaps like this.
I realize you are talking about OP's GF & not other people's relationships, but this feels really dismissive. My partner & I went through a lot of shit with his parents & with my health in the first two years of dating. I knew how he reacts to stress & conflict pretty early on. That hasn't changed in the 10 years I have been with him. Plus, what you call puppy love has lasted all these years. My heart still skips a beat when I see him. I still think he is one of the best men I have ever known, which is why I married him. Don't get me wrong–I am aware of his flaws– but I am absolutely still smitten with him.
Bingo bango! I thought the EXACT same thing, it's SHE who has had all these thoughts because, IMO, new co-workers would never do this sort of thing, why would they..She's making crap up as she goes along..Let the break up stand OP because she's never going to be happy. Besides how on earth could she be “out of your league”? I mean she's a hair dresser not a freakin' doctor, no disrespect to Hair Stylists but come on.
Thats a hell of an ultimatum, and she counting on you accepting.
If you were living together I would say pick the kid up, but you are not.
She trusts you more than paid help, and you are cheaper than paid help.
I dont think I would agree, but I am not you.
If you being a cheating, manipulate asshat was the best she brought out of you, your best is a disaster.
I don’t give a shit whether you love her. That’s immaterial. If you care even the slightest bit about her well-being, mentally or emotionally, you’ll leave and never look back. Every day you spend with her is a day in the worst version of her life.
She's 28, not 2
I find it insane that you were given the okay to adopt because yikes. You're a nightmare.
I feel like this relationship will become transactional.
It already has. On top of that, he's emotionally abusive. You'll never meet his standards, because every time you get close, he'll move the goal posts. It's a control thing to keep you under his thumb, striving to meet his expectations to get the crumbs he'll deign to give you. He doesn't care about how his BS affects your mental health.
Do yourself a favor and get a job so that you'll have money to get out from under him.
I honestly can't really follow your post, but if you felt icky about your boyfriend's response, it was probably because it showed a lack of female anatomical knowledge and touched on a subject which is a sore one for many women.
Provided that he isn't usually ignorant about this topic, I'd say just let it go. You were joking around and he probably said the first thing that popped into his head without thinking and then only dug his grave deeper when you proceeded to ask him about it.
Sometimes, a joke is just a joke, and if you frequently engage in “your mom” jokes, I frankly feel like that's to be expected.
A yes in spirit and a no in practice is still a no. If you want marriage. this isn't the one for you. If you continue this relationship do so knowing in your heart he won't change. If you expect different you will only get hurt.
This doesn't mean he can't change. But when people tell you black and white their intentions. you gotta listen.
Talked to it about her maybe seeing a therapist. She immediately responded with that she doesn't need to since she is “entitled to have her own opinion”
Always reassured and comfort her before bringing this topics up. Unfortunately there is no perfect timing for these nude topics but they usually come after a night of sleep. As I am a somewhat emotional guy too and a huge overthinker I more often than not find myself feeling like a bad person for making her feel this way. I bottle it up and comfort her still. Just that yesterday after she calmed down I had to run to the toilet cause of a breakdown and she heard me having a anxiety attack… so yee…
She's a bitch.
Ditch her
She’s a huge cunt. (Any penis would seem small when you’re that big of a cunt)
We definitely acted like a couple a lot of times, especially in classes. Spending every moment together etc. We just got so close over the last year I never thought we would “break up” over the course of a few months.
The plan was to visit each other regularly every few weeks/ months after she moves and enjoy the time we got left at uni together. I do understand that we could have met much more and make more out of it but tbh her leaving our flat just changed things logistically etc. And I discovered meeting every other day is ok with me which she clearly didn´t feel the same about
Um so was this defined as cheating in your relationship/does she view it as cheating or are you just phrasing it that way? If it's the latter then I guess you need to communicate boundaries better and maybe get some counselling so you can both understand what this meant from the other person's perspective. If it's the former then I really would continue with this tbh.
Good lord you are a fucking doormat.
Mixed feelings too. Its a shame that he did actually get the nudes. If he hadn't gotten them I would have said that he eventually came around and did the right thing even if it wasnt, perhaps, done in the most honorable way. But its almost like he's had post-nut clarity and then done the right thing. In fact, that is probably exactly what it is.
I would probably confront him and let him do the talking.
“BTW, b/f, contacted me and gave me a full transcript of your chats. I'm wondering what that should mean for us and our relationship?”
Then let him talk. Let him run out of words, stay silent, and let him find something else to say.
Then make your decision.
You're allowed to be upset by whatever upsets you. But maybe look at the bigger picture here. This guy's not some uni aged person yet he's sleeping off a hangover on a weekday and hence flaking out on you. There may be more going on here than just his oversight where you're concerned. To be four decades into life and still tying one on to where you miss an entire day is kind of a glaring red flag.
This guy is in no condition to be in a relationship. He has too many issues, isn't mature enough, is MASSIVELY insecure, and possibly has some actual trauma from past relationships that's causing him to act this way. He is borderline abusive. He needs a therapist, not a girlfriend. End this relationship. Tell him you care about him, and you've enjoyed your time together, but he needs to spend some time in therapy before getting into another relationship, because nobody is going to put up with this, and he's going to lose every single girlfriend he ever has. He's so scared he's going to lose his girlfriend that he's actively driving away his girlfriend.
“As long as I behave the way he wants me to, he doesnt abuse me, so he's great!”
Your bf is abusive. Your bf is dangerous. Sure, he hasnt hit you…yet. But hitting isnt the only form of abuse and you're living an la-la-denial land. If he were TRULY interested in being better, he'd get therapy. Instead, he takes the easy way out and shows short-term efforts to dupe you into staying and you fall for it hook, line, and sinker. Since he wont get therapy, please consider getting it for yourself to you can work on your self esteem and perception of healthy boundaries/relationships.
Your best friend wants to be involved with you in some way and he found undeniable proof, or maybe even ran his mouth about it in front of or possibly to your fiance
i think that he follows them and he looks at them more regularly than if he just needed something quick to get off too
This seems reasonable and it demonstrates care and commitment from your side so I say go for it.
Fucker pulled a Mr. Incredible on you
She’s emotionally immature, but that’s no surprise for a 20 y/o. I would really think through the consequences of getting involved with someone in my place of employment, specially with someone who hasn’t matured enough yet. She doesn’t seem to be handling this like a grown adult, can’t imagine she would be any different handling relationship conflict in the workplace…
My biggest concern is the wrong person seeing their conditions and reporting them causing them to lose their kids
Removing children from such filth would be a GOOD THING
the best relationships are when you and partner are on the same page.. sexual chemistry is super important
It’s not about permission, but giving a heads up and just taking your feelings into consideration. Giving the opportunity to say “I’m not really comfortable with that” and have an adult conversation about it. Ultimately it’s up to him and his decision to give a sh*t about your feelings or not. His decision would then give you the opportunity to make a decision for yourself on if this is acceptable behavior for YOU. That’s how transparency works. All cards are on the table and each party gets to decide to stay at said table.
Delaying mentioning it and then trying to justify it without validating your feelings gives “ik what I did is wrong so I hid it” vibes. If that’s how he deals with potential conflict, what else will he be willing to hide?
should ask your BF why.